From the razor to the rosary

Unconditional Faith:

 Chapter 47:

I spent a whole day in the studio again. Danielle and I went in early to try and work on the last song, but it turned out to be a waste of precious hours. I apologized to her because the time she wasted with me she could've spent with Bob because they were leaving for the last few weeks of the tour the next day.

"Stop saying sorry" Danielle told me while she was digging in her purse "its okay, I'm going to be with him now in a few minutes. It's not like he's going to disappear"  

I sat in the chair in front of the mixing board looking a little up to her watching while she got ready. She walked over to a little mirror that was put up against the wall next to the orange couch "I just feel bad about it. I see how sad you and Jamie get when they leave and then you miss them like crazy. I just don't want to be the reason for deducting time"

"You're not. He had things to do anyway" She touched up her eyeliner a little bit before putting on some lip gloss. She rubbed her lips together and made a little popping noise "There" she smiled looking in the mirror

"You look lovely" I complimented her and sent a smile her way. She was wearing her new black skinny jeans with a white top and a black over-coat that she left unbuttoned

"Thank you, Bob's taking me out tonight. I'm just not sure where or what we will be doing really" She frowned "But I'm sure I'll enjoy it anyway"

I chuckled a bit because of her facial expressions "Yeah, I'm sure you will"

"You really shouldn't beat yourself up about it Sky" She said and I made eye contact with her "Sure we weren't able to start a new song or at least a new song that we both like but it will come to you, I promise"

"I've always found it amazing how you have so much faith in me" I replied

"Well, you are a great at writing, you have awesome ideas and it will hit you sooner or later. Maybe you should try to take a break. You've been frustrating yourself the whole day trying to think of new material" She suggested

"Maybe I will. I'll see, it just bugs me because I know what I want to say it's finding the correct words that are straining" I told her again as the door opened and Bob walked in "Good evening"

"Hello" He replied simple with a smile closing the door behind him before he walked over to Danielle "It's really getting cold outside"

"It is?" Danielle asked surprised "I thought the forecast was going to be mild?"

"The wind started blowing late this afternoon and now I see there are some black clouds heading this way" Bob said as I sat back in the chair "Rain"

"Oh joy" Danielle exclaimed sarcastically "We'll have to go to the apartment so I can get a jacket then"

"No problem, it's on our way anyway" Bob answered her

"Alright then, we're on our way" Danielle turned to me "Now remember the numbers are on the fridge and don't talk to strangers" She mocked and I scowled at her

"Yes mom" I joked standing up and gave her a quick hug

"Don't over work yourself. Have a good night see you later..." She waved as they made their way out the door and closed it behind them "Oh" she remembered and poked her head in the doorway again before she threw something towards me and I caught it "Don't forget to lock up"

"Aye-aye captain" I saluted her with my hand as she was off again

I stood in the middle of the room for a while trying to decide what I wanted to do. I knew that if I went home I'd be alone the whole night because Jamie and Danielle went out. I'd order take-out and park myself in front of the television watching anything that seemed to be good and after that I'll go to bed.

'Hmmm...neh to boring'

Next I thought I could go out to some club, dance and just have fun - but I wasn't really dressed for that. I was wearing a red tank-top with a jean and my converse, which didn't really get me in a party mood plus I wasn't in the mood for drunken people.

Finally I made up my mind. I decided I would go to Starbucks which was only a five-minute-walk away. Then I'd buy me some coffee and come back to the studio and try to clear my mind a little - I liked that idea the most.

I grabbed my purse and started walking down the little hallway to the door that leads outside. I locked up like Danielle had told me to and began my little five-minute walk. While I was walking I felt the wind blowing rather strong like Bob had mentioned. I looked up and I could see the dark clouds as the lighting lit up the sky. I've always found rain to be a beautiful thing, even if a lot of people experience it as depressing.

When I reached Starbucks I opened the door and felt the warmth that came from inside. There were a few people sitting at the tables talking and some seemed to be working. I walked over to the counter as a young lady stood there smiling at me.

"Hi, how may I help you" she asked politely

"You can help me by getting me a warm café-latte to go please" I replied and smiled back and she turned around to make it for me. A few minutes later she returned with the cup in her hands and placed it in front of me while typing in some stuff on the till. After paying her I got hold of my warm cup and made my way out the door again.

While I was walking down the side-walk I got a feeling that someone was watching me. I started looking around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Couples were walking hand-in-hand, strangers were sitting in restaurants doing what they do - nope nothing unusual - yet I got that feeling. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind because I could get a little paranoid at times, especially when I was alone.

 

 ******

 

"Reaching out, to touch grace

And the picture frame keeps crumbling

A silhouette of your face

And at the end I keep on stumbling" I sat on the big Marshall speaker in the recording room with the guitar in my hands and a notebook in front of me. I've been sitting like this for about thirty-minutes trying my hardest to come up with at least one innovative stanza - it wasn't working out as planned. I picked on a few strings to try and work out the melody with those words - I didn't like it.

I bent over and took hold of the pen as I scribbled over the words I had written. I shook my head in discouragement as I let my head fall down. I sat like that for about five seconds before I decided to ridicule myself.

"You might as well give up now because you suck.

Your broken heart has drained your luck.

You thought you had a gift but then your butt got stuck

You might as well give up now because you suck.

La la lalala" I sang while playing a silly tune on the guitar just to mock my own capability.

I heard a soft chuckle and my eyes shot wide. I turned around to see who was spying on me and he started clapping his hands "Lovely, just inspiring" he said sardonic as he came closer

"What are you doing here?" Was the first thing that came out of my mouth, I was a little taken aback by him standing only a few feet away

"I saw you at Starbucks when you walked in. I was sitting at the table in the corner watching you" He told me as I started giving him a skeptical look "I know how that sounds, I wasn't stalking you"

"If you're not stalking me then why are you here?" I raised an eye brow at him

"I magically appeared here" he joked but saw I didn't find it amusing "When I saw you I couldn't stop looking at you. I knew you were alone tonight and I wanted to make sure you were safe."

"I'm safe"

He nodded slowly "The other reason I followed you is because when you left I couldn't bare the thought of not being with you anymore. When you walked in you automatically made me smile and it-"

"Gerard don't" I cut him off placing the guitar against the wall

"I can't stand not being part of your life anymore. I can't stand not speaking to you, kissing you and holding you. I can't stand not being there for you anymore" As he spoke those words, I felt that box in which I suffocated all my feelings burst open. I shut my eyes rapidly making my head fall foreword trying to contradict any tears

"Stop it, please" I pleaded him

"It's hard for me to not wake up next to you, all I see now when I open my eyes is-"

"Don't do this to me!" I yelled out rising from the speaker "Don't say anything, just stop!"

"It kills me Skylar!" He yelled back at me as I looked at him with shallow tears and a disbelieved look "It kills me knowing how I hurt you. I had to see you cry"

"You hate seeing me cry yet you are the one who caused me heartache. Do you have any idea how I loved you, any idea how I fully gave myself to you in every aspect?" I asked him with quivering lips "It's like donating someone your heart and having them throw it away because they'd rather die than accept it" I kept quiet for a while trying to gather myself but it was hard "You never loved me"

"Don't you dare say that" He claimed with a harsh voice "You can't really think that I never loved you. All those special moments we had, you made me so happy. There were nights that I would stay awake and watch you sleep because you are so beautiful"

"No, I can't listen to this!" I scoffed at him as I turned around and gave one step towards the door as he grabbed my right wrist pulling me in towards him.

"You're not leaving again, not this time" He told me and I yanked my hand out of his grasp

 "Oh you mean like the first time?" I asked him "The time you were to much of a coward to try and get me back? You just let me go" I sighed shaking my head "Goodbye Gerard"

"Just give me a chance to explain"

"You had your chance Gerard, you had months to try and explain - I guess you just weren't up for the fight" I looked at him as he took a few steps closer to me.

"Then let me fight for you now" He then suddenly grabbed the back of my head with his left hand pulling me closer to his face causing our lips to collide. For the first few blissful seconds I remembered how much I missed his lips pressing against mine, but I quickly reminded myself how much the owner of those lips denied his love for me on international television.

I pulled away from him as he still had his right arm holding around my waist. I stepped back to get out of his reach and turned my back on him "You like to damage me, don't you?" I asked with a defeated tone. I felt his hands take a hold of my hips as he shoved mine into his. I felt his chest moving on my back while I heard his breath tickle the surface of my neck.

He placed a kiss on my neck as I let my head fall backwards on his shoulder. I couldn't help myself, I cannot deny the why he makes me feel. I knew I was going to regret this in the morning but I'm a puppet on a string, and he knows how to delegate me.

He moved his hands from my waist to the front of my jeans and gradually undid the button while loosening it. He placed kisses all the way down my neck until he reached my collarbone. He slowly slid his hands down my pants and stopped when his thumbs hooked on them. I gently took him by his wrists and pulled his hands out as I started stroking my fingers up his arms.

Gerard kissed my cheek and I turned my head to the left until I met his lips. I turned around facing him while wrapping my arms around his neck. He started walking backwards as we rested our foreheads together staring into each others eyes.

He hit another huge speaker as he sat down on it. I moved myself and sat on his lap with my legs over him. I kissed him once softly as his hands were holding me securely at the back. I slid my hands down his chest to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up as he removed it. When it was gone I slithered my hands back up his chest to his shoulders as he kissed me passionately.

He held me closer to him as he decided it was time to get rid of my top, and after a few seconds it was gone lying somewhere on the floor. He started kissing me in my neck again as I let my head fall backwards and he trailed kisses down from my neck - to my collarbone - and between my breast. I sat back up and plastered my lips against his harshly feeling the desire that burned in both of us.

He stood up from where we had been sitting and steadily placed his hands under my butt while I wrapped my legs around him. I continued kissing him while he was carrying me until I felt my back hit against something. Gerard's left hand started searching for the handle on the door and when he found it he opened it before getting a tight grip of me again.

He walked into the room and I had a feeling he was aiming for the couch. He put me down and I sat down on the plush orange object looking up at him while he was standing in front of me. I raised my hands and got a firm grip of his jeans as I undid the button and pulled down the zipper before I placed a gentle kiss right under his belly button. I pulled them down and he kicked them away once he removed his shoes.

When I saw him standing there with only his boxer-briefs I got a little dumbfounded by the sight of him. He was so handsome and perfect, every inch of him made me swoon and he was a drug to me and I craved him - more than ever.

He bent down to kiss me again as I laid down on my back causing him to follow my lips until he was fully atop of me. He stroked his hands down my sides causing goose bumps to appear on the surface of my skin. He once again slid his hands in the side of my pants pulling them down pursuing kisses down my chest all the way to my stomach.

I gave a breathless sound as I felt his warm lips on me; it felt good having him touch me again. He touched me in a way that nobody else could - he made me experience what nobody else could make me experience.

After my jeans had gone missing, he placed soft kisses on my inner thighs and I had to hold my breath for a second. I got a hold of his neck as I pulled him back up crashing my lips into his furiously because I couldn't bare the temptation anymore, it was getting too much.

My hands tugged on his boxer-briefs but they kept on getting interrupted by him kissing me, finally after some time I clenched to them making them disappear. I let my fingers travel up his back as my nails tickled his skin and I felt him wriggle a little bit. I pushed my hands up his neck and into his hair while we were kissing tenderly. I circled my fingers in time with our lips moving. He started slipping the straps of my bar down my shoulders leaving kisses on them working his way to my breasts. I squirmed from under his touch as he loosened the clasps at the back removing it.

I felt Gerard rising in my inner thigh as my heart started racing. It was almost like the first time he made love to me, the first time I trusted him and I just wanted to feel him like that again.

In my thinking, just getting lost in the moment I got startled when his hands were placed on my hips gripping my black hipster and pulling it down leisurely. He came back and made our lips meet as he shifted his position and pushed himself into. I gasped and arched my back while I gripped onto any part of him that I could find. He kept pushing himself further into me as he took a hold of both my hands and held them above my head. He gave a little pleasurable moan before I kissed him lovingly and tugged on his lower lip gently.

He quickened his pace as his ribcage heaved against mine while we were moving together. I hooked my legs around his waist as I felt him move within me making the sounds coming from my mouth uncontrollable "Gerard..." I called breathlessly while his mouth roamed my body. He thrust against me harder causing our hips to grind together in a beautiful manner.

"Oh...God" came out of his mouth a couple of times as our breath were raspy and short. I could feel him sweating as he lay atop of me moving. My hands traced up his back as I felt his muscles moving. His hands moved from my hips up to my breasts as he caressed them and laid tender kisses on them making me squirm and a little squeal escaped my mouth. He came back up to me as I started in his gorgeous hazel eyes seeing him smirk before our mouths attached to one another's.

With the passion searing he grinded his body intensely against mine as short satisfaction groans came from both our mouths. I felt my body get goose bumps all over as I felt that feeling only he could make me feel. I reached my climax and I felt a little glistening tear roll over my cheek just before I felt his body tense up right after mine before he gave a loud moan.

I didn't know if this intense sensation came from the fact that I've missed feeling his touch, or if it came from the fact that I loathed him for what he did to me - either way I have never encountered something as marvelous as I did tonight...

We stopped moving as he gazed right into my eyes with a sincere look. I ran my fingers through his hair while we were short of breath. He took my right hand a twisted our fingers together and brought it up to his face as he kissed my hand softly. I gave him a tiny grin before my lips shaped his perfectly - he had the sweetest taste I have ever tasted.

He went to lie down behind me as I burrowed myself closer to him. Gerard held me around my waist as our legs were entwined together in a cutesy fashion spooning. At that moment I felt serene and safe - the way he always made me feel. My heart kept reminding me of the way I could feel how much he loved me, the way we became one in that blissful moment we had a few minutes ago. But my head - the logical, more pessimistic side of me was very disappointed in what I had done, because according to it, if Gerard loved me, why did he hurt me?

"I love you" He whispered in my ear as I shut my eyes tightly. I wanted to say 'I love you' back and kiss him, but I couldn't - for my own good I had to keep my mouth shut

I was caught between my heart and my head and didn't know which way to turn. When I thought about it, it confused me.

'Why do the two of you have to be in this constant quarrel? Can't just for once agree on a matter? It would make everything so much easier!'

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Unconditional Faith:

 

Chapter 46:

The next day I got up early because there were a few things that had to be done. After I took a shower I got dressed and when I saw Danielle was still snoring away I opened her door and yelled she must wake-up. She tried throwing me with a pillow to shut me up - but her attempt failed. I made my way to my room again as I corrected my hair before putting on some eyeliner. I heard Danielle grunting as she was stumbling down the hallway to the bathroom and when she walked past Jamie's door, she kicked it deliberately and you heard another murmur.

"Go away" Jamie shouted as Danielle kicked it again before she chuckled to herself "Ugh!"

As I waited for my two friends to get ready, I went to the kitchen and brewed a new pot of coffee. I loved the smell of fresh coffee in the morning, it makes you feel alive. I got a hold of my phone and started texting Abigail to remind her that I won't be going in today and that she had to mark down some of the old merch because we had a sale - we need to get rid of some old stock.

Danielle walked into the kitchen after twenty-five-minutes looking cheery greeting me with a smile. I raised my mug up in the air as a reply before taking another sip.

"Today we do my cake" She claimed excited and I chuckled at her actions "Man I hope I can find the right one. I hope I remember what I want, and what I like. It would be a shame if I chose a fruit cake"

I glazed at her with a slight frown and a somewhat confused look "You don't like fruit cake"

"Exactly"

"I think you need coffee, because you are clearly still asleep. Even though you look really nice" I told her finishing my beverage. My eyes caught Jamie who looked like a mess. Her hair was standing up and she wasn't even dressed properly. She had a big white shirt on that she buttoned unevenly, her batman boxers and white socks with flip-flops.

"Okay let's go" She said as I started shaking my head slowly

"What ran over you?" Danielle asked shocked examining Jamie from head-to-toe

"Nothing" She replied and yawned stretching her hands up "I'm tired. Like really tired, I took three of those head-ache pills from your dresser and before I knew it - poof - gone was little me. I have to say Danny those are some strong pills"

"Dude those aren't head-ache pills, it's very strong sleeping pills that Bob left here!" Danielle exclaimed "You are only supposed to take one, and you took three. I'm glad you're not dead"

"Explains why I dreamt about pink elephants and unicorns sliding down rainbows, now I know why Bob is always so calm" Jamie answered and I started laughing

"Come on let's get you dressed so we can leave" I walked towards her leading her back to her room helping her to get dressed as Danielle got a flask to put some coffee in there to help keep Jamie awake.

The three of us strolled down the side-walk on our way to the bakery. Jamie was more likely dragging herself down the side-walk while sipping on the flask. I saw Danielle carry a smile when the bakery was in sight, I could tell she was elated about the fact that all the plans were almost done for her wedding, and time flew by fast.

Danielle opened the door and you heard a little bell chime from the glass door that had been pushed. Danielle held the door as I was hauling a half-asleep Jamie along with me. I saw a stool and placed her in there as she sunk down in it looking at me with fatigued eyes.

"Stay" I said pointing my index finger at her before turning around to Danielle who looked at her friend

"She's not going to be much help today is she?" She asked me as I shook my head "Ai, I hope she doesn't start eating a cake or something"

"I'm sure she won't, but I won't guarantee that" I replied as I started looking around "They have many cakes in here"

"I know! And it smells like cookies to" she said with merriment gazing around "That one looks interesting" She pointed and moved over to it with me not far behind

"It's a Corpse Bride wedding cake" I blurted out as I started investigating it. It had four layers that looked as if they were uneven. The bottom one was big and the top one was the smallest. The colors were a faded purple, blue and brown with details in green. It had a few butterflies and right on top were the two main characters waiting to get married. It was the most creative - spot on- cake I have ever seen.

"Do you think if I get married with a cake like this people might think I'm a bit childish?"  Danielle asked me as I thought on it for a while

Just as I was opening my mouth to speak I got interrupted "Well it depends on your theme" a voice said and we both looked to our left seeing a guy stand there. He was tall and rather skinny with light brown hair and he was dressed in black pants, white buttoned shirt with a white apron over that "Hi, my name is Carl" he extended his hand

"Hi, I'm Danielle and this is Skylar" She shook his hand and I nodded once firmly smiling

"If you want this cake as your wedding cake, you have to be sure about your theme and what you want. The type of people you're inviting, you know is it a formal thing or not. Example you won't see the president or Queen of England choosing a cake like this" He started explaining as Danielle and I was still trying to get use to his sudden appearance"

"I understand that. We are really down-to-earth people, musicians so we like weird stuff" Danielle told him and I looked briefly at her before looking back at Carl

"Then I'd suggest the Corpse Bride cake" He smiled politely placing his hands behind his back

"But I also want to make an impression" Danielle added a few seconds later

"What is your theme?" He asked her and she looked at me

"Her theme is just simple, classic. Colors are white and black with some details in red" I answere"Okay yes then I'd suggest something more like..." He started walking towards another cake only a few feet away as we followed him

"For a guy who works at a bakery he's really skinny" Danielle whispered over to me and I giggled under my breath shaking my head

 "This one. It's simple, classy and makes an impression" He showed us a cake which had three layers, each layer was held up by tiny pillars. It was just white and looked really boring in my opinion.

I stood there keeping quiet waiting for Danielle to say something first while Carl was watching us. I knew she didn't like it, I knew my friend. She might be a simple girl at times but she's not boring, and this cake was...a snoozer.

"Hmm..." I heard coming from her "No I can't say I like this very much. I want something that looks a bit more..." She stopped to think

"Alive?" I said as both of them looked at me

"Yes, alive" Danielle nodded

Carl looked around the shop "Is there any specific flavor cake you have in mind?"

"I've always wanted a chocolate cake, it's the only cake I eat" Danielle replied as Carl nodded and walked over to yet another cake

"How about this one" He asked this time rather than suggesting, I think he could see we weren't like the regular customers. We knew what we want and we won't settle for anything less.

"This is a bit better" Danielle claimed as we were now staring at a cake that had four layers going from big to small. It was brown - obviously chocolate - and had tiny white dots all over with yellow flowers placed on top "At least we made a little progress, we got the chocolate flavor down" She smiled innocently towards me

"Yeah but I can't say I'm liking the yellow flower thing to be honest" I pulled a face looking at the cake.

"I'm sensing this one is also not working" He sighed with a smile "Have you ever imagined or seen a cake that you really like?" he asked Danielle and she nodded slowly while thinking "Okay now try and picture exactly what you want it to look like, I'll be right back" he said and walked away

"He wants me to come up with a cake?" Danielle frowned looking towards me

"Seems like it, you're the only one who knows what you want. So try and picture something, I have faith in you" I said sarcastic placing my hand on her left shoulder

"Very funny" She said and sighed. While she was thinking I took a few steps back to see if Jamie was still okay. She was sitting on the chair with her hand holding up her head, her eyes were now closed and she was sleeping. Luckily she wasn't wandering around the bakery thinking she's dreaming.

Five-minutes later Carl came back with a booklet and a pencil. We moved towards the counter and he leaned over it placing the booklet down in front of him.

"Have you pictured something?" He asked as Danielle made an unsure sound "its okay, just say what you are thinking and we will work this out together" He smiled towards her

"If you are sure" She shrugged "I want a brown and white chocolate cake with tiers of vanilla, lemon or coco. The cake must be covered in alternative white and dark smooth coco, decorated with a cascading tumble of hand molded white and dark coco roses, lilies and leaves" She replied as Carl started drawing on the white paper "One Brown cake, then a smaller white atop of that, with another brown and the smallest white on top"

"What the hell" I asked somewhat shocked realizing what had come out of my friend's mouth "Dude where'd that come from?"

"I don't know" She shrugged "I'm a genius it seems" she smiled at me as Carl showed us the booklet

"Is this what you were picturing?" We looked at the paper and I was impressed by his drawing skills, even though it was just a cake - it was a well drawn cake.

"Yes!" Danielle yelled "This is it"

"Good at least we know what you want" Carl breathed relieved "We will be able to this for you. It's not rocket science" He smiled and Danielle squealed clapping her hands fast

 "Yeah, I got my wedding cake, my chocolate wedding cake. It's going to rock!" She sang while dancing a little dance. Carl and I stood there gazing at her before I left her alone and discussed prices, conditions and dates with him.

 ******

 "No" Danielle stated firmly as we stood outside the shop. She was staring at the name and looked petrified as Jamie and I stood next to her with humongous smiles spread across our faces "You can't make me"

"C'mon! You said you wanted to blow Bob's mind on your honeymoon, what better way?" I asked her as she sighed before looking at me "This will definitely make his world spin"

"I know I said that but I thought maybe like...something with..." She frowned "To be honest I have no idea what I meant"

"Luckily for you I knew exactly what you meant" I smiled proudly

"Fine" She caved in and dropped her shoulders "But you my friends are also doing it then!" She told us grabbing us by our sleeves dragging us into the little shop. When we got inside all you saw were lingerie and kinky costumes all around. Different colors, different sizes and even some toys "Oh hell no" Danielle said as she turned around and I yanked her right back

"You're staying sister" I firmly said before we began looking around "This will be fun. It's like shopping for underwear"

"Except you won't ever really get the chance to wear it, just put it on and get it ripped off a few minutes later" Jamie added while frowning before she shook her head and continued looking at white and silver lace lingerie

"Then what's the point of doing it then?" she frowned and I placed my hand on her back

"Because it's fun" I replied and she scowled at me "You're not getting out of this"

"I have the most weird ass, sexually frustrated friends" Danielle beamed "You brought me to a place called Trashy Lingerie, what ever happened to the term 'You are what you wear?'"

"It got killed with the person who came up with it" Jamie smiled innocently and received a dejected look from Danielle. I laughed for a second before I placed my hands on Danielle's shoulders and started messaging her.

"C'mon, you can do this. You are a tiger, a sexy temptress. Get your head in the game!" I got a little into character as I saw she was shaking her head.

"You are doing this with me" She pointed at me before walking a few steps foreword

"If you insist" I answered her as Jamie had already started fitting some of the items "So what do you want to be first, a French maid, a sailor girl or do you prefer a career in law enforcement?"

Her eyes grew wide as I pointed to the outfits. I made it my job to get the kinky side out of my best friend and I was going to succeed!

"Ai, hand me the slutty police uniform" She sighed as I jumped and got it for her before she yanked it out of my hand and slouched her way to the dressing-rooms.

"Oh, don't forget your hand-cuffs!" I yelled mocking throwing them over the curtain to her as I could hear her snigger. This was going to be fun...

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Unconditional Faith:

 

 Chapter 45:

Warm embrace, strong arms holding you feeling their body lying tightly against yours. Their breaths in your neck as you feel calm and serene. A smile appears on your face because you have started to dream about that person, until you feel something rising and you realize that something is wrong...

Gerard's eyes opened and he was staring into his wall. He felt someone holding him and something poking him in his lower back, something a straight man should never feel. He took a deep breath and decided to stay calm "Frank" He said low as Frank gave a little pleasurable sigh to show he heard him "Frank Iero that better be your phone poking me"

"What?" Frank asked sleepily as he shifted his position and held Gerard tighter sliding his hand to Gerard's chest trying to grab hold of something that wasn't there. Frank got a little frown on his forehead as his right hand started feeling around.

"I can promise you, you won't find what you are looking for" Gerard stated just lying still waiting for Frank to realize he's spooning with the wrong person "I don't have breasts Frank"

Frank opened his eyes staring straight into Gerard's pitch black hair. He let go of Gerard immediately once he became conscious. He went to lie on his back as he started giggling "Oh man this is so weird"

"You're telling me?" Gerard asked as he sat up in the bed

"I guess I just sensed that you are lonely" Frank claimed turning on his side facing his friend, holding up his head with his hand. Gerard looked at Frank with a puzzled look before he shook his head "I'm serious, I know you are lonely. I'm trying to help you out, hence the bonor"

Gerard let out a little chuckle as he looked the other way "You know that if you want to stay here you can't exactly hit on me right?"

"But...but...but..." Frank put on his pouty face "You're always the one grabbing me on stage. I know you want me, don't deny it"

"You better add that you are joking because I seriously do not want to butt fuck right now" Gerard told him while Frank put on a seductive look examining Gerard's torso "Frank, stop that"

"Shh..."  Frank placed his index finger over Gerard's lips speaking in an erotic tone "Don't say a word. This might be a good time to tell you that I'm completely naked"

"Dude, no!" Gerard jumped out of bed with a disgusted facial expression as Frank burst into laughter rolling around in the sheets "Mom! I need new sheets please" He yelled

When Frank caught his breath again he sat up drying away a tear from his left eye "Gerard do you honestly think that I, Frankie whom you have known for a very long time, will butt fuck you?" He asked as Gerard stood there staring at him "The answer that you are looking for is no"

"That's a relief" Gerard sighed "I know I'm lonely but I'm not that lonely"

"Ah-hah so you admit you're lonesome?" Frank pointed his finger towards his friend as Gerard shrugged walking to his drawer and getting a cigarette

"I guess I am, I've kinda gotten use to having someone by my side. Waking up to something I love..." Gerard lit the cancer stick and puffed it a few times "and no, not a friendly bonor. I prefer Skylar."

"How long have you been separated?"

"Since December" Gerard answered him blowing out some white smoke

"That's almost four-months" Frank counted on his fingers

"Yeah almost"

"Why haven't you gone out there to get another person to love?" Frank asked and received a glance in return "You are Gerard Way, you can get anyone you want"

"That's exactly my point. I can get anyone I want, but I don't want anyone. I want the person who I love more than anything; the one who makes me smile when I just think of her. The one who makes my knees weak every time I see her" Gerard told him

"That person can only be Skylar, right?" Gerard nodded towards Frank "Then why haven't you done something about it?"

"Have you spoken to Mikey? Because now you are staring to sound like him"

"No I haven't, but we are worried about you" Frank declared

"I wanted to do something about it but ever since that night I can't help but think she's better off. I mean she's doing great. Writing songs and making a record. To me it feels as if I was the one holding her back from her full potential" Gerard explained

"Well yeah, she has more time now because she doesn't have someone in her life just like you" he exclaimed "But don't think for one second that she isn't still thinking of you. Believe me she is."

Gerard stood there thinking for a while before he changed the subject "By the way, please remind me again why you are staying over here?"

"Jamie is busy with that huge final project for her photography class and she kicked me out because apparently I'm the one distracting her" Frank said putting the word distracting into air commas

"Yeah jeez, I wonder why she would say that" Gerard replied sarcastically as he received a scowl from Frank

"Luckily I'm meeting her for dinner then I'll take advantage of the time we have together" Frank smirked before he got out of bed walking to the bathroom/

 ******

I am creatively drained. It seems like my mind is on strike because no new ideas have popped up and I can't seem to find inspiration from anything at all. This could make me extremely frustrated because I would be in a thinking state all the time, with no luck what so ever because my mind only runs in circles.

I had to write one more song then I would have all the material I need to finish the record. The guys have been helping me out a lot by lending their legendary experience and awestruck skills to me. They helped me finish five songs and may I say those songs are exceptional. I was happy with the way everything was going, I was having fun in the studio with everyone but my only problem was writing a new song.

I was standing in the kitchen preparing dinner while I was thinking of my best friend's wedding. I had to talk to her about some things, it was eight-weeks before her big day and most of the things have been planned. I was getting excited about her getting married. It's wonderful to see two people love one another that much.

While I was chopping up some potatoes into long strips I heard the door slam and someone singing "Anyone home?"

"In here" I yelled back as they came into the kitchen

"Hmm something smells good, what are you making?" Danielle asked me once she poured herself a glass of water

"I was in the mood for steak and chips. So I'm chopping up potatoes now for the chips, hope you don't mind that this is what we are eating tonight." I gave her a smile as she took a sip of her water shaking her head "Good"

"I don't think Bob is eating here tonight. If my memory serves me correctly I think he mentioned something about Brian, I was horny so I didn't really listen" She shrugged as I laughed before I threw some strips into the boiling oil

"Talking about Bob, we have to discuss some wedding things" I wiped my hands on a cloth and threw it over my left shoulder before I walked out to get the folder with all the wedding arrangements and lists. I went to sit down across from Danielle at the island opening the folder "Okay everything is arranged, the venue, minister, band, photographer, caterer, wedding invitations, dresses are ready; they just need to be picked up. You registered for the wedding gifts; guest lists are ready which reminds me I'll be sending those out tomorrow"

"When did you finish it?" She asked me surprised as she was examining the list I had just read

"Gabby and I finished it at work and they will be sent out tomorrow" I informed her as I saw a smile grow on her face "All we need to do now is go to the florist tomorrow, and I made an appointment with the bakery down on the corner of fifth-avenue for your wedding cake. That should be fun"

"Wow, suddenly everything is set and ready" Danielle sighed "It's so bizarre"

"Getting married is bizarre. It's a huge thing to organize and plan and we did everything in time" I said as I wrote down the time of the appointment "Have you and Bob decided on the honeymoon yet?"

"Well he kinda said he wants to surprise me, so he's taking care of that. I'm perfectly fine with it because it takes some stress off of my shoulders. By the way, has Meredith said when she's flying in?"

"No she hasn't. I will call her tomorrow and get all the details" I wrote down again that I have to call Meredith "I think it's sweet that Bob is doing the honeymoon. There's something to it that I find romantic"

"You've always been a hopeless romantic" Danielle shook her head "Always believing in true love, and that there can be a happily ever after"

"Yet you're the one who's getting married and on your way to being swept off of your feet" I chuckled softly to myself "Ironic actually"

"How are you holding up?" Danielle asked me as I looked at her before I got up and walked over to the pot full of boiling oil

"Fine, why wouldn't I be okay?"

"I don't know. Doesn't it make you sad planning my wedding?" She turned her body to face me as I was throwing some more strips into the pot "Thinking of how much you shared and the things you had planned for the future"

I didn't answer her right away. I was afraid I might deny my feelings and that's something I didn't want to do. After wiping my hands again I turned to her leaning against the counter folding my arms across my chest "It doesn't make me sad, but it makes me miss him. When we went to fit the bridesmaid's dresses I couldn't help but imagine what our wedding would've been like. It just makes me miss the little things we use to do together, the way we use to be and when he kept showing up at the studio with the rest of the guys it killed me, but I couldn't let myself crack."

"Because he hurt you"

"Yes, because he hurt me. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. I'm sure he's moved on." I smiled towards her and she smiled back sympathetically

"You still love him a lot" Danielle stated as I laughed briefly "I can see it"

"I do still love him. Sadly I don't think my feelings would ever change but I'm hoping that it would at least fade a little bit so I wouldn't feel this way." I told her and threw the last strips in the pot "I really thought he was the one, after all I gave myself to him fully but it's all in the past now" I shrugged

We heard the front door slam again and a smiling Jamie walked in greeting us cheerfully "I want to ask you guys something" She got started as I got rid of the boiling oil and switched off the stove before I sat down next to Danielle to hear what she wanted to ask

"Go right ahead" Danielle said as Jamie slid in across us wearing a smirk

"What is your theory on oral sex?" was the question as Danielle and I looked at each other before laughing "C'mon guys I'm serious!"

"Well..." I said thinking biting my lip "I don't know what you want me to say"

"Okay let me rephrase my question" She said with her thinking face "Have you ever given your guy oral sex?"

"You mean to ask me have I ever sucked Bob's dick." Danielle chuckled "No"

"Damn, okay then it doesn't help if I ask you" Jamie said and looked at me "How about you?"

I looked frightened at her before I smiled bashfully "Yes, I have." I saw Danielle scrunch up her nose "what?"

"That's disgusting! Who knows where that thing has been?" Danielle stated

"In her" Jamie answered and I frowned

"First of all: ew and secondly don't judge me! It's part of foreplay and I kinda promised him I'd do it. He wanted to do the same to me but that I refused! It's just part the sexual experience and you will get there as well"

"Exactly" Jamie nodded once firmly "Why I'm asking is, I just jerked-off Frank under the table before he had to go with Brian. To me it was pleasuring"

 "I think you could've kept that to yourself" Danielle replied disgusted as I couldn't stop laughing

 "Did you spit or swallow?" I asked her as Danielle hit my arm

 "...uhm..."

 "Dude you swallowed!" I blurted out and I saw Jamie's cheeks turn red "God this is classic"

 "There wasn't anywhere to spit it, I had no choice" Jamie explained and I shook my head

 "Amateur"

 "Aren't you one to speak...?" Danielle turned her head to me "All of a sudden you're an expert?"

 "Look I tell you guys when I have sex, but I never tell you what we did and how we did it. I gave Gerard oral sex a lot" I admitted "No big deal"

 "You are sickening, you tell me you love me with that mouth" Danielle told me as I gave her a smirk "Ugh"

 "This reminds me of a very important stop we have to make at a shop tomorrow" I remembered and grabbed the folder again before I scribbled it down "I promised you I would do this and I keep my promises"

 "Yeah...just ask Gerard" Jamie said low and I scowled at her.

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Unconditional Faith:

 

 Chapter 44:

My life has taken a drastic change, yet again. A month ago I got my heart ripped out by a man I love. I spent my nights crying over him, I spent my days just lying in my bed reminiscing about all the memories and feelings. Memories I knew I would never have again and feelings I knew I wouldn't feel again. Three days of my life I wasted lying in bed crying and there wasn't a thing anyone could do to get me out of my room.

Danielle and Jamie helped me out by taking turns to manage the shop those three days I didn't do anything. I knew it was hard on them. Between Danielle's studying and Jamie's projects they struggled to balance it all. The guys had left for two-months to finish The Black Parade tour, when Frank and Bob came to say goodbye I started crying again. Not to mention Danielle and Jamie most probably moped around the apartment as well because they had left, but I'm sure it wasn't as bad as me.

My room was filled with candy-wrappers, chocolate papers and chip packets. I wore the same sweat-pants and T-shirt for three days straight without showering or brushing my teeth. The T-shirt turned out to be one of his, I found it on the floor and after I wept about it, smelling his scent on it, I put it on. It was the time I had reached complete insanity. To me the world had died. When I looked out of the window, all I saw were dark rain clouds and trees without leaves, just dried up and broken as I was.

I became selfish, thinking the world owed me something. Thinking how could this happen to me? I've always done everything right. I ignored my two friends who dwelled in the halls and who knocked on my door countless times. I wanted to be alone - I wanted to be miserable...But the truth is life goes on with people living their lives, doing their thing. Life doesn't stop just because you have stopped living.

After those three days I started showing my face again, just in the apartment of course. My daily routine had changed from lying in bed to lying on the couch watching television. I kept on replaying the press conference, and when it came to those words he said, I would stop it - rewind it - and play it again. It was almost as if I wanted to hurt myself, but it made me get a thick skin. It made me stronger. It helped me deal with my feelings, especially the fact that I still love him.

It was two days before Christmas before I realized I was being completely pathetic. I was letting my friends down. I was turning into someone I wasn't, a weak being who hides whenever something goes wrong. It was a hard blow for me when a man I loved and trusted hurt me, but does that really mean that I should even allow him to make me feel like this? Allow him to make me act this way? My answer was no. 

I've decided that I would show him nothing can bring me down. He went on living his life like nothing happened, playing shows, meeting fans and laughing - so why couldn't I?

I got up early, the time I usually would for work. I got in the shower and washed away my feelings, rinsed off all the burdens. I got cleaned up. I tidied up my room and put new sheets on my bed. In the middle of everything Danielle and Jamie stood still in my doorway watching me. I could tell they were happy that I finally got out of my hole and they could give a sigh of relief.

Danielle needed me more than ever because it was only two-months before her wedding. She didn't want me to see how nervous she was, because I was going through my phase, but I was her maid of honor and after I apologized for my selfishness, I took on the challenge of arranging what was left to do for the wedding. Things have started to turn back to normal - and I was thankful for that.

Through the weeks I've being writing again. I have become my old independent self, who knows what she wants, when she wants it. I loved every minute of it! I have written songs and melodies. Short ideas for what I wanted because I have decided that my next career step would be making an album - something Danielle and I have always dreamt of doing.

Everything fell into place. Danielle was producing her very first record, which happened to be mine. I was thrilled when she suggested it, because I kept on throwing hints her way.

My life has taken a drastic turn - luckily for me it was in the right direction. There were days that I thought of my behavior. I wondered that if I didn't let my emotions out, if I just sucked it up and started living my life again - would I be sitting here next Danielle in the studio. Would I have figured out my next step? Questions we ask ourselves which we will never know the answers to. I think that if I didn't cry over him, my heart would still be aching and I would still be confused...

After all, giving up doesn't always mean you are weak, sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. I am a strong person and sometimes brilliant opportunities come disguised as impossible situations, hence my last month. I have been able to learn from that experience, it gave me courage to start again, so thank you Gerard Way for giving me inspiration for this record.

Danielle and I sat there listening to part of a song we have just recorded. So far everything went great, but it was long hours and frustrating times of recording the same thing over and over again.

"I like it" She smiled when it had finished

"Thank God, I really wasn't looking foreword to doing that again" I told her and she chuckled

"You don't really have a choice" Bret said leaning back in his chair

"Yeah I know I know" I sighed

"I guess I have to go to the piano now huh?" She asked as Bret nodded and she got up grabbing my hand hauling me with her into the next room. She sat down at the piano while I took my place in front of the microphone hanging from the ceiling.

"Give me the intro and the first verse" Bret told us as I tried to remember my lyrics "Start whenever you are ready"

Danielle started playing the melody she and I came up with yesterday for the song. It was a beautiful melody and I felt it fit perfectly to the words. As her fingers made their way across the black and white keys I got ready to start singing.

 "He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme I know

He's as dammed as he seems

More heaven than a heart could hold

And if I try to save him

My whole world would cave in

Just ain't right, no it just ain't right"

Danielle stopped playing and I stopped singing. To me this song held something deeper. Of course all musicians write from their own experience, write what they know. Use similes and metaphors for creating the perfect illusion. When I start singing this song, I can't stop just after one verse, that's hard for me to do but I had to.

Bret called us in again to hear if we liked it or tell us what we should change. When we got inside Danielle let out a yell that deafened me.

"Oh my God! Bob" She threw her arms around his neck as I laughed at her actions "What are you doing here? Wait before you answer, first kiss me"

"We have a week off and decided that we would come here, where else would we be?" He asked as she smiled before she plastered her lips against his again

"Welcome back then, happy you are here" I greeted as Frank came stumbling through the door "Olla"

"Hey what's up?" He asked as he walked over and gave me a hug before he gave Danielle one as well and shook hands with Bret

"Nothing much, just working on a song" I simply replied taking a seat next to Bret

"Oh yeah that's right, you've decided to join the club" He grinned "So do you need a guitarist?"

"Do you honestly want to help me?" I frowned looking up to him

"Of course. I love working in the studio, since we are here for the week, we might as well help you out, be your own personal little band" He offered

"Hell yes" I stated "Give me another hug" I opened my arms widely as I hugged him tightly "That would be awesome."

"It would yes. We can start working with them tomorrow, if you'd like" Bret asked them

"Sure, I can't see the harm in that. Then I can spend time with my fiancé which makes it a bonus" Bob wiggled his brows while holding Danielle against him

"Just stay away from the instruments please" I mocked as I received a scowl from Danielle "Will it just be you and Bob?"

"No Mikey and Ray as well, I'm sure they don't have anything to do anyway" Frank shrugged careless and took a seat on my lap "What are we working on today?"

"A song called beautiful Disaster" I answered him

"Sounds pretty" He said with a little boys voice and I started chuckling, but it kinda hurt because of his weight pressing down on me "Can we hear it?"

"Sure" Bret pressed two buttons and the sound of Danielle's playing and my singing filled the room. I sat there listening watching the facial expressions trying to figure out what they think of it. When it was done the room was silent and I closed my eyes expecting the worst

"Jeez, I didn't know you could sing like that" Frank shifted his position to look at me as I opened my one eye looking at him "It's good!"

"Thank you, I hope you really mean that. I don't want you to lie to me or spare my feelings just because I'm the one writing the songs" I told them

"We won't do that silly" Danielle informed me "I...or rather we wouldn't want you to go out there and make a fool of yourself"

"That's sweet of you" I claimed a bit sarcastically but I was glad she said that as well.

"Okay let's finish this song. Off you go" Bret shooed Danielle and I out to the next room so we could get started on it again "From the top"

 

"He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme I know

He's as dammed as he seems

More heaven than a heart could hold

And if I try to save him

My whole world would cave in

Just ain't right, no it just ain't right

 

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

If I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

 

He's magic and myth

As strong as what I believe

A tragedy with

More damage than a soul should see

And dare I try to change him

So hard not to blame him

Hold on tight, oh hold me tight

 

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

If I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

 

I'm longing for love and the logical

But he's only happy hysterical

I'm waiting for some kind of miracle

Waiting for so long

He's soft to the touch

But frayed at the end he breaks

He's never enough

And still he's more than I can take

 

And if I try to save him

My whole world would cave in

Just ain't right, no it just ain't right"

 

I ended the song as Danielle's piano skills took over and brought the song to an end just a few seconds later. I stood there biting my lip before she tapped me on my shoulder and we went back to the others.

I was smiling when I got inside because they were cheering me on and complimenting me on some brilliant writing "Why thank you very much" I put on my proud face

"Yes, that was spectacular" A voice said and my gaze went to a person who was standing in the corner, my smile faded just a little bit but I forced it up.

"Thank you" I said again before I broke my eye contact with him. It was the fist time I've seen him since that night I left him alone on his lawn. He looked good and I didn't expect him at all, I should've known this moment would come, I just thought it would be way later. I turned to Bret and Frank sitting in front of the mixing board "So let me hear it" I smiled as they replayed it and we stood there listening.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Unconditional Faith: 

Chapter 43:

"Never. Never. Never!" I yelled as I slammed the door behind me. I took off my jacket then hung it up. I felt extremely...extremely...I didn't even know how I felt at the time. My heart was beating in my chest at a speed that was so fast that I could hear it thumping up and down. I could see my chest heaving and that alone made me want to cry.

I scampered down the hall then found my room. I put on the light then closed my door. Once it was closed I leaned against it and let my head fall back. I couldn't think of any explanation for what he had said, the thoughts ran so quickly. Every single memory was a happy memory! Every single minute since I met him was a happy one!

"Ah!" I yelled as I started crying making my head fall down into my hands as I bent my back down to the level of my knees. I let my fingers run through my hair, removing them from my face. My left hand fell along my side as I stood up straight again while my right and was still in my hair. I sniffed once as the tears made their way down my cheeks elegantly.

Why do guys hurt girls? Is it like a game to them, do they find it entertaining to see how we cry? They make and break everything they touch! "God!" I exclaimed in the open as I wiped the few tears away from my eyes. I looked around in my room examining every corner, after I realized I was being pathetic for crying about a guy that doesn't want and most likely doesn't even deserve me - I walked to my closet while taking a few deep breaths. Just when my hand grazed the knob of my closet there was a knock on my door and then it opened.

"Skylar" I heard a voice that was filled with confusion "I didn't expect you back this soon, are you okay?"

I shut my eyes tightly and took another profound breath just before I turned around and forced a smile upon my face. I opened my mouth to speak but my words failed me, as I saw Danielle standing there looking at me with her big blue eyes I started crying again. I fell against my closet door with my shoulder sliding down to the floor "J-just...go. I-I'm fine"

"Well obliviously I can see you are not" She stated frightened and ran to me tugging at my arms so I would stand up. I looked up towards her and tears started racing down my face, I tried to stop them but I couldn't, I wasn't in control - my heart had taken over. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to my level as she knelt in front of me and at that moment I wrapped my arms around her tightly because I needed her. More than anything I had to feel her embrace because a best friend is the only cure for a broken heart "I am so sorry Sky"

"Don't be y-you don't have to be" I told her while we still had our arms enfolded around each other

"But I knew what he had said and I should've told you" I heard her sniff "I should've warned you at least but I didn't!"

"No it's not your fault, nothing is" I said and let go of her looking at her

"I just can't stand seeing you cry, it makes me want to cry" She sobbed and got up before she pulled me to my feet as well "Ai, you want to talk about it?"

"I don't think there is much to talk about; after all you saw the press conference. I watched it just when I arrived and then I reacted on it. He started making up excuses telling me I don't understand and I told him goodbye. I didn't want to hear anything he had to say, if he never wanted me from the beginning then he should've said something. I mean there's no need in sparing my feelings now is there?" I asked rhetorical

"Everyone was shocked when they heard what he said, Melody and I called them once they were done. They just whispered and couldn't understand why, but they left it" Danielle explained to me

"It doesn't matter anymore" I claimed and sat down on my bed falling back giving a big sigh "I guess I just feel really betrayed by him. Everything I did for him, the way I trusted him, things I told him. It's tough to make a relationship work I know that, but no one can say I never tried"

"If there is one thing you've taught me it is that you should never fully trust a man, because somewhere, somehow he finds a way to always screw up" She said and I chuckled softly "I was surprised that he was able to sweep you off your feet"

"Yes me to, maybe that's why I gave myself to him fully. Because he made me feel things I never felt for any other guy. Just when we use to mention his name a few years ago it made my stomach turn, and when it happened for real that he liked me - all I saw were hearts all over" I explained to her as I thought about it for the first time

"You still never told me what exactly happened on your first date. How he got you to trust him enough so he could...well undress you." She asked curious coming to sit next to me

"To be honest I don't even know" I shrugged at her "The most beautiful words were coming out of his mouth, he was such a gentleman, asking me if he could be my first. I was paralyzed by it all. I hesitated but when he kissed me..." I told her with a small smile appearing on my face "When he kissed me I knew he was the one. I became lost and I wanted to feel him close to me"

Danielle put her right hand on my left and I looked at her "Sounds like a fairytale"

"Pff...I don't remember any fairytale ending like this." I stated "Oh no wait I forgot, I'm the wicked witch of the west's daughter" I pouted

"Are you okay now?" She asked me

"I think I am" I sat up and smiled confidently "If I could tell you about our first date without shedding one tear and without my voice cracking up I'm sure I'm over it" Danielle gave me a scarce look raising her left eyebrow

"I'm not so sure about that, I know you love him with all your heart. He was your first and you have been through a lot together with your family and all. I'd say you're scarred pretty badly, I know I'd be" She spoke freely and when her eyes met mine she saw I was scowling at her

"Well it's time for me to lock up all of my thoughts, emotions and feelings into a little black box and lock it throwing away the key along with the box. I have already wasted enough tears on him. I'm not a teenager anymore life goes on" I claimed firmly

"I'm still not convinced" she said making herself more comfortable "Tell me about any other memory you had with him"

"Okay, let me think" I sat there thinking of a good one that was really special to me "Well there was this one night when we were in South-Africa and we sat outside in the night sky and he told me about how special I was to him"

"No, I'm talking about a memory that made your toes curl and your knees weak"

"Wow, there were actually loads of them" I sighed running back in time "When we went to Switzerland, there was this one night were he had planned this romantic evening. You know candles, rose-petals just the whole package! I beat him to the room and saw everything, and then I decided that I would put on that skanky lingerie Jamie bought me"

"Oh God" She chuckled briefly

"I doubted for a few seconds before putting them on" I assured her "Anyway, when he walked in he was looking down but when he looked up and saw me, it was like he saw someone he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, a person he truly loved" I started staring into space folding my hands on chest "Time stood still. Then he kissed me, he's so gentle...his breath was hot on my skin as h-his...hands grazed my...b-bo-dy" my voice tightened up and tears came strolling downhill once again "See I'm fine" I lied

 "Aw baby" She held her arms open and I went to lie down in her lap

"I believed him when he said he loved me" I somewhat screamed hysterically "Danny, I'm not okay" I told her and she laughed briefly

"You don't have to be, I understand. I am here for you like you have always been there for me" She said low while running her fingers through my hair "Just close your eyes"

 ******

"Morning" Gerard greeted with a low and groggy voice. He stepped into the kitchen while his mother was making breakfast. He sat down at the table across from Mikey who was busy drinking his beverage and just held up his hand waving

"Morning my boy" She squealed excitedly full of life as his father walked in through the back door with the paper in his right hand

"It's rather cold outside today, cloudy and rainy. Just miserable actually" His father said once he was inside and shook of some drops from his jacket before removing it.

"Well at least nothing can ruin this day" Donna smiled broadly walking over to the table with a pan in her hands "We are expecting some important news, or rather an important answer" she started scraping out some scrambled eggs on Mikey's plate

Gerard sighed and closed his eyes; Mikey saw the expression on his brother's face and knew immediately that something was wrong and decided to change the subject quick "Mom, what's with the big breakfast? I mean we have bacon and eggs, yogurt, toast and pancakes" Mikey frowned pointing to the food with his index finger and his mother slapped his hand

"Don't point at your food" She firmly claimed before walking back to the stove placing the pan down neatly "I just thought I wanted to get up, and surprise my family you never know when we have to celebrate something" she hinted walking back to the table placing a white mug in front of Gerard with the words "Congratulations" printed on it. Gerard rolled his eyes just keeping his head down as his mother took a seat next to him. "Let's eat"

"Maybe we should wait for Skylar?" Their father suggested

"That really won't be necessary" Gerard said low picking at his eggs with his fork. Mikey sat there in silence examining his brother's body language

"Phish-posh! The girl has to eat, build up her strengths" His mother said "Especially after last night I'm sure."

"Yes, tell us about last night - how did the proposal go, son?" Their dad asked

 "It went...not quite the way I had planned" he answered them then turned the mug around so the "congratulations" faced the other way before he took a sip.

"That's okay, I'm sure she loved the jester! No matter how it's presented" His mother grinned widely "She must still be sleeping, poor dear. I remember how exhausted I was after you proposed to me" Donna took hold of mr Way's hand and looked into his eyes lovingly

"Do I, you wouldn't let me sleep. After you said yes you made me the happiest man alive" His father stated before he pecked their mother softly on the lips

"Ew please stop doing that" Mikey scrunched up his nose before he took another bite of his toast

"But to get back to the subject, how did she react? Is she thrilled?" His mother asked curiously "She must be"

"She's uhm..." Gerard frowned placing his left-hand on his forehead looking down

"Ah it's going to be just great having her as a daughter, like the daughter I never had" His mother said again and the ire kept on building up within in "She'd make a breath taking bride"

"God could you just stop talking already" Gerard jumped up from the table agitated by the things being said. He marched out of the kitchen towards his room. He walked over to the drawer that was placed against the wall and started digging through it, once he found what he was looking for he grabbed his jacket making his way through the house to the front door. He leaned against the porch boulder opening the box he held in his hands and took out one before lighting it.

"Thought you were done smoking" A voice said from behind him as he looked over his shoulder blowing out the smoke he inhaled

"Past tense" Gerard answered him boorish before he puffed on the little white stick again

"So...I take it things didn't go exactly the way you hoped it would go?" Mikey asked him carefully because he sensed it was a touchy subject

"Oh my God, you're so observant!" He replied sarcastically as Mikey walked up next to him

"Don't get cocky with me. I'm trying to help you out here" Mikey put his hand on his brother's shoulder nudging it gently so Gerard would look at him

"If you want to help me, you could maybe get Skylar back. Or even better, you can rewind everything until the part where we are at the press conference so I could stop myself from being a complete and utter jackass!" Gerard yelled

"Ah, press conference. Knew that would come up in this conversation somewhere, just thought it would be a lot later" Mikey sighed and sat down on the little step "What's stopping you from getting her back, hm? Gerard you love this girl and here you are moping like an idiot being mad at yourself"

Gerard kept quiet for a few seconds before he sat down beside Mikey "You want to know what's stopping me from getting her back?" he asked as Mikey nodded head "You have no idea how much my words hurt her. You have no idea how I had to see Skylar burst out in tears and yell things at me; she couldn't even bare me touching her. Said I disgusted her. I hurt her so badly after I promised her I wouldn't!" Gerard's eyes got teary "I broke her heart, I broke the woman that I love and seeing her cry like that haunts me, and knowing that I'm the one who caused those tears in those beautiful eyes...it's just..."

"I'm very sorry to hear this, but you shouldn't have said that to the whole world, what did you think was going to happen?"

"I don't know, not this that's for sure! I want to go over there and just take her in my arms and hold her, dry her tears away and kiss her gently. I want to wake up next to her. I want to stand in front of that alter seeing her walk down the aisle looking beautiful as always...but I can't!" He yelled angry

"You screwed up, we know that. You have to correct this you can't just let the love of your life get away this easily. Not everyone finds their true love Gerard" Mikey stated before getting up

"I can't"

"Okay I have tried to play it nice" Mikey declared before grabbing his brother by his shoulders and lifting him to his feet pressing his back against the boulder "Listen here, and listen good. You are Gerard Way and you will not sit here walking around feeling sorry for yourself. You fucked up, everyone does. When you fuck up you learn from it, correct it as best you can and move on! Now fix it!" Mikey told him and walked back inside.

 Gerard stood there with eyes wide. He was shocked by the fact that Mikey could lift him up like that. He also knew his brother was making a lot of sense and that he couldn't just give up without fighting.

 

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Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 42:

 "Would you please try not to get that on the shirts?" I asked irritated by the police running up and down in my shop. They didn't care about the things and messed everything up. The floor is dirty and they are starting to move the filthiness over to the merch.

 Gabby was sitting on a chair next to me shaking as I had my right arm over her shoulder trying to relieve her from just a little bit of shock - it didn't seem to work. It had been three hours since they robbed the shop and it didn't seem like things were going any where. I was just so annoyed by the people not caring.

"Miss Scott, could we please ask you some more questions?" a voice asked as I looked up and saw a man with green eyes stand in front of us. Gabby kept her head down shaking

"I already gave my statement" She told him with a low voice

"I know but it's vital for us to try and get as much information as possible" He said and she started crying again

"I know it's your job. I understand that but she's upset as I'm sure you can notice. How would you feel if you were at gun point?" I huffed a bit aggravated "She's given her statement and that's all she knows. If something else turns up she'll tell you, got that?"

He looked at me for a while as I didn't break eye contact with him keeping a straight face. He got a soft smile upon his face and licked his lips gently "It would be appreciated"

"Good now please go and try to do your job so I can do mine by being a friend" I claimed and the man with the green eyes nodded once firmly then turned around and disappeared in the crowd of police men.

"I want to go home" she sniffed and wiped her eyes

"Okay, I'll take you home" I said calm and looked at my phone. I had some time before I had to meet Gerard for our date so I took her home. The drive was quiet all the way to the suburbs, which made my mind drift away thinking about how that could've been me or Danielle in the shop. I felt bad because I left her alone - then again, I never thought something like this would happen...

I stopped the car and got out. I walked around to her door and opened it for her then I helped her out of the car placing my arm around her and walking her to the door. She handed me the keys and I opened up the door. Her mom came rushing towards us as she saw what happened on the news.

"Thank you Skylar" Gabriel said as she hugged me

"It's not a problem. Just make sure you get better and get some rest. You don't have to come to work tomorrow, take your time" I smiled towards her "Have a nice evening" I said my goodbyes and got back in my car as I rushed back to the apartment to put on some more fancy clothes.

I jumped up the stairs to our door as I opened it hearing voices in the living room "Hello you guys" I waved to Frank, Bob, Danielle and Jamie when I entered the room and walked up to the big long couch where Danielle and Bob sat in

"How did it go?" Jamie asked me

"It went okay. Police have no respect for your things or feelings I have to add" I told her and gave a yawn "Gosh, I have to stop doing that. I have a big night ahead of me - so I'm going to get dressed now" I turned around and walked down the hall to my room. Once I was inside I opened my closet and got a little purple dress hanging amongst the other clothes. I smiled to myself as there was a knock at my door "Come in"

Danielle came walking in with a smile then closed my door sitting on the edge of my bed "That's a pretty dress; it's the new one you bought when we went Christmas shopping right?"

"Yup it is. Gerard hasn't seen it yet, which is great because now I can surprise him looking way hotter than him" I grinned placing the short purple boob-tube dress on my bed next to Danielle "Now the question is which amazingly super sexy underwear do I wear?" I asked tapping my foot with my hands on my hips glancing through my lingerie

"I'm sure Gerard would love anything you wear anyway, after all he might just forget the dinner and begin with dessert" She claimed and I chuckled

"That would be funny. I wouldn't mind. I owe him for days of not serving dessert anyway" I giggled then found a pair of white lingerie that would look great under the light purple

"So...have you watched the press conference yet?"  Danielle asked me cautiously as I turned around walking to her

"No not yet, I've been playing cops and robbers all day. You did record it for me didn't you?" 

"I did yes. When are you going to watch it?" She looked down and I saw a look on her face that I was familiar with and I frowned

"Is there something I need to know? Because you guys stopped talking when you heard me coming in, and you looked at me strangely" I said

"No-no, nothing I'm just wondering" She smiled at me instantly and put a her poker face because she knew I would want to know because I could read body language extremely well - especially hers "It was just funny with the questions and the answers you know"

"Oh, yes they usually are funny" I smiled back and started loosening my pants "I'll watch it when I get back sometime tomorrow"

"So I take it you're not coming back tonight then?"

"Well..." I smirked naughty at her "If things go the way I think they would go then no, I won't be coming home"

"Good to know..." She said and got up "I'll leave you to getting ready now" She placed her hand on the knob and turned it slowly

"Danielle you know you can tell me what's wrong right?" I reminded her for in case she forgot

She smiled up towards me again "I know, there's nothing wrong - well nothing so big that it can't wait until tomorrow. It's just bout the bills"

"I hope you're right about that" I raised my brows as she nodded and closed my door behind her. I sighed wondering what could be wrong but I decided to shove that to the back of my head because she would've told me - right?

After I got dressed I fixed my hair and put on some more eyeliner just look a bit better than I normally do. I got on my little white ballerina shoes and was on my way to the love of my life. I was excited to see what he had planned, I wondered what the occasion may have been that he decided to send his parents away and cook for me, but whatever it was I couldn't wait to find out.

 ******

 I stopped in front of the Way's house seeing that all the lights were off. I frowned a little but then I noticed Gerard's car parked in the drive way. I smiled then got out. I walked up to the front door then opened it gently poking my head in the doorway seeing a few candles lit and the kitchen's light was on. I closed it once I was inside and I slammed shut then I heard a voice behind me

"Welcome to my humble home" Gerard said leaning in the kitchen doorway with two glasses of wine in his hands "You look lovely"

"Why thank you very much kind sir" I smirked walking closer to him "You have no idea what kind of day I had" I told him and he handed me a glass followed by a strong kiss "Mmm..." I opened my eyes seeing him grinning. He kissed me harder as I went to sit down on the arm rest of the couch and he parted as I followed him not wanting to let go.

He walked backwards into the kitchen as I sat there biting my lip taking a deep breath "Let me just finish up in here, I'm almost done. You can turn on the television if you want" he yelled to me as I got the remote and found Mtv2.

"Hey the conference is on" I smiled big turning up the volume "Aw but it looks like it's the end" I pouted

"Moving on" Frank slowly said

"No, c'mon! Frank you haven't given your answer yet" Bob yelled from the other end as Frank tried to hide a smile and his face gushing red

"No I can't." He told them as they looked at him urging him on "Fine! Make it...Gerard. Now moving on"

"I knew Frank had a guilty pleasure for you, I just knew it" I laughed at the screen

"I think we all are rather curious to know this next question. It's from Bethany in Texas - she asks: Since the magazines published pictures of you and a girl together and loads of rumors circling the web that you are in love if they are true. Gerard could you please tell us what your relationship is with Skylar Storm, are you just friends or are you in a serious relationship...?"

"Ah the million dollar question"

"Well Bethany I have to say that isn't true. I'm not seeing anyone at all so bringing the words 'serious relationship' into the mix is silly. Skylar Storm is a friend of the band. She helps us out from time to time. We are just friends and that's all it would ever be" His words stung me. Cut through me like a sharp blade, was I imagining those words from my own insecurity or did they really come out of his mouth?

"What happened that your day was so hectic?" he wanted to know. I didn't answer him, I couldn't. I was just staring at the screen taken aback by the words "Babe...you still there?"  He came walking out as I took a deep breath. I turned my head facing him with glistening eyes

"Please tell me you didn't say that" I said looking at him as he looked at me confused "The press conference, please tell me you didn't say that we are only friends and that's all it would ever be" My voice cracked up

"No-no wait, you got it all wrong" He started explaining walking up to me and I pulled away standing up "Skylar let me explain"

"No. I don't want to hear it. I don't want any lame excuse; you told all those people that we are just friends! Millions of people around the world are going to know what you said. God I knew it was too good to be true" I broke out in tears walking around the couch and he stopped me by taking my shoulders "Don't touch me!" I yelled again pushing him away walking to the door

"Sky baby you've got it all wrong" he said again as I just kept repeating his words in my mind as it just upset me more

"You're ashamed of me aren't you?" I asked him but didn't give him the chance to answer "You started panicking when you saw the pictures in the magazines, and you just used me. I trusted you!" I screeched hysterically

"It's not like that, I said that because I-"

"I became boring to you didn't I? Unpleasant and not pretty anymore...That's why you didn't want to touch me anymore" I cried and I couldn't breath. I needed to get out of there; the atmosphere and the smell of him in the air broke me. I couldn't look at him.

"Please just calm down, sit and you're going to make me feel like an asshole" He continued and I snapped

"You are! You are an asshole! You lead me to believe a lie. Things you said and promised...this whole relationship was a lie. I was just a game to you" I huffed and opened the door marching out as he jogged up to me grabbing my wrist

"You're not leaving, not in the state you're in" He told me and I laughed at him

"What in this world makes you think you can tell me what to do?" I retrieved my wrist from his grasp shaking my head "You my friend mean nothing to me anymore" I turned my back to him "You can take out the knife now, So that there won't be any trace of your back stabbing"

"You really don't know what's going on, if you would just let me talk to you things would make sense" He shouted over to me as the next door neighbors started looking out of their windows

"It makes sense, it makes perfect sense. Well you don't need to be worried anymore, my day just got better. After the gun point hold up and the police this is actually like a breeze to me. God was just preparing me. To bad you didn't come with any caution sign because they could've come in handy!" I bellowed walking to my car

"Skylar please...don't do this" He pleaded me. His eyes became shinny and I knew I had to go because my heart was too soft. If he started crying and explaining himself I would comfort him and place the blame on myself.

"I'm sorry" I said low "As much as I love you I can't do this, I can't be treated like that. You told people we aren't together when we are in a very serious relationship - well through my eyes at least"

"I know, I realize now tha-"

"Oh now you realize huh?" I laughed briefly "Congratulations Gerard, you just passed another phase in your life" I turned around, opened my door, got in and drove off. I couldn't believe this was happening. It's all so wrong; I couldn't understand any of it because he seemed real. He seemed like the honest guy who wouldn't hurt a fly. Just goes to show - looks can be deceiving.

 I looked in my mirror seeing him standing there with his head down as tears rolled over my cheeks. I forced myself to look away and drive home to Danielle. Now I know what she didn't tell me.

 Gerard stood on the lawn looking to the neighbor's house seeing the guy and lady staring at him. He sighed then reached into his pocket taking out the little velvet box that would've created a life long dream. That would've made him the happiest person in this world...yet things never work out quite the way we plan. He opened it, staring at it. He closed his eyes with a light tear falling down onto his hand.

 "Idiot" He said low to himself as he turned around slowly walking up to the porch. He sat down on the top step with his elbows on his knees still holding the box in his hands. He looked up at the sky where the stars were shinning bright wishing he could take back what he had said, but the damage was done and fixing it, would take some time...

 

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Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 41:

"I have to talk to you about something" I said as I stared down into the table. Danielle and I decided it's been a while since we've tasted the beverages at Starbucks so we moved ourselves over to them when we had lunch break, once again Jamie had a class and couldn't join us. She was becoming pissed because of it - but still considered herself lucky because she could sleep late. 

"What's it about?" Danielle asked me as the waiter brought our drinks and placed them on the table "Thanks"

"It's about me and Gerard" I answered her still looking down to the table "I think he's going to leave me. Tonight"

Danielle gave me a strange look before she broke eye contact with me "Why on earth would you think that?"

"For one he's been acting like he doesn't care anymore. We don't have sex, he barely touches me. I asked him about his former relationships and the answers I got weren't exactly what I wanted to hear" I said and sighed feeling the emotions staring to build up

"What answers did you get?" she asked me with a subtle voice

"I asked him why he broke up with them and he said because it just wasn't fun anymore, it became boring to him. That they were just another phase in his life" I told her with annoyance filling my voice "You know who I blame if my heart gets broken? Myself"

"Why would you blame yourself exactly? He'll be the asshole for leaving you"

"He might be the asshole but I'm the one who ignored my basic instincts. I didn't ask him questions, I didn't' take any of the precautionary steps I usually would take. I just gave in like an idiot! I just fell into it all" I raised my voice slightly as I was speaking to her. I could become so frustrated with myself at times that I could do something stupid "I made it look like I needed him"

"I still think you're looking at it all wrong. Fine you didn't go with your instincts, but he made you happy didn't he? He gave you some great memories and he got you laid" She affirmed and I glared at her "Don't look at me like that! It's true. You loosened up a little"

 "He lays good" I chuckled and Danielle giggled

"I know...I hear you yell it all the time" She said and giggled some more

"But still - What's the point of having good memories with him when they are all just going to turn out heart aching to think about at the end of the day? What's the point of reminding yourself how happy he made you when you're going to end up miserable?" I asked her and I got mad standing up from the table "What's the fucking point of having a man in your life when they only hurt you? I was just fine before I met him and I sure as hell don't need him now!" I yelled out loud with my face a little red as the place became quiet and I looked up seeing everyone stare at me. Danielle held her coffee in front of her face as she sunk down in her seat. The next thing I know the whole place erupted with woman applauding me. I nodded once then sat down with a smile on my face

"Okay are you quite done?" Danielle asked me as we started laughing "Your rage is something I never want to see. I really think you'd kill somebody"

"Me to" I agreed with her "Danielle I don't know what to do. He even sent his parents away for the night"

"Why would he do that if he was going to break your heart?" Danielle asked me and I shrugged towards her "You know that whatever happens I'm on your side of course. But Sky baby maybe you're just a bit neurotic"

I gave a big sigh and let my head fall back on the seat as my eyes studied the roof for a while. I hated it when my mind shot to thoughts that made me suspicious or paranoid. I hated the fact that he doesn't touch me anymore, the fact that it seems like our candle's flame is fading. I can even feel the awkwardness when I'm alone with him, usually we would just jump each other but now I'm not sure if he wants to me touch him. God I hated this!

"Yeah maybe I'm foolish" I finally answered her after going through my thoughts "He's great, we're just going through a dip in the relationship. I mean all of them have it, right?"

"They sure do. I hate dips" Danielle scowled most probably thinking on some of the fights she had with Bob. "Luckily the dips turn into highs. Plus the make-up-sex is great" I laughed at her shaking my head. My phone ran and I started digging in my purse for it. I found it right at the bottom beneath my wallet and other crap that woman usually have in there

"Hello?" I answered hearing a rapid voice on the other end of the phone "Whoa slow down, Gabby what's wrong?" She took a deep breath as I heard her breathing out then she started telling me what was going on. My eyes shot wide as I listened to her speaking, Danielle frowned as she looked at me then giggled again mocking my facial expressions "Okay just relax I'll be right there" I hung up and threw my phone back into my purse

"What was that about?" Danielle wanted to know

"I can't even go on lunch break anymore without something happening, apparently they just robbed the store and Gabby is in a state of shock. I have to go" I told her and threw my purse over my shoulder getting up "This is so not my day"

"No wait - I thought we were going to watch the press conference together?" Danielle pouted turning around in her chair

"I can't now sorry hun. Duty calls. I'll watch it later tonight when I'm with Gerard or back home, will you record it for me?" I asked her

"Yeah sure, I will do that"

 "Thanks, love you" I waved to her and started walking to the door that lead out to the streets where crime was happening everyday and now I had to go resolve my own shop being a victim...

 ******

 "Jamie move your butt!" Danielle yelled from our living room sitting on the biggest comfiest couch in our apartment. Her feet were pulled up to her chest and the television was set on Mtv2 for the press conference. Jamie came walking out with a bowl of popcorn then she plopped down next to Danielle crossing her legs on the couch placing the popcorn in the middle of them

"Has it started yet?" She asked taking a handful and started eating

"Not yet, it should have started five-minutes ago" Danielle looked at her phone to see the time "Stupid television programs that make us wait"

"Oh look they just walked out the doors at the back" Jamie pointed at the screen as Bob, Mikey, Gerard, Frank and Ray walked up to a long table covered with a white cloth with three microphones' placed on it. They took their seats as you saw flashes from cameras and a lot of people including the press standing in front of them. "You are recording this, aren't you?" 

"Dang it, I forgot. Just press the little red button on the remote please" Danielle asked her politely and she did just that

"Sucks that Skylar can't be here, we always watch these things together no-" Jamie got cut off

"Shush! Gerard's talking" Danielle said as she was focusing on the screen. Gerard started talking introducing them like he always did before he and the rest of the band started accepting questions.

They answered the usual questions that are asked at most press conferences. Some old issues popped up inside the crowd asking the band that if that happened again what will they do and how they will handle it. Gerard answered most of the question as precise and honest as he could, and to this point all five of them were pretty happy about the questions being ask and the way they answered. 

 "Was touring with this record different from your former two records?" A lady asked sitting in the second row with a recorder in her right hand holding it out to them

 "I would say yes, very different" Gerard got started as he looked at Frank who nodded "The Black Parade took us on a whole new journey - a whole new life lesson. It took us to new places and introduced us to some new crowds and amazing people"

 "We tried something new and it worked for us. The world seemed to love it and we could go a bit more theatrical with our headlining tours, giving the fans a treat and a show to remember" Mikey added biting his lip when he was done

 "You've lost some old fans who've been with you since 'I Brought You my Bullets, You Brought me Your Love' when 'The Black Parade' got released. They say that you guys have become to commercial...What do you think about that?" A guy with short blonde hair asked standing close by with a camera next to him

 "Commercial?" Bob frowned thinking as Ray and Mikey started chuckling at his reaction

 "I think what Bob means is no, we didn't really set out to go or be commercial at all" Ray said patting Bob's back

 "It may have seemed that way because we went more way out than usual and changed our sound, but I promise you that we are still the same My Chemical Romance" Gerard informed them and got a small smile on his face as he saw people hurry to write things down

 "To the fans that once loved us but decided to leave us..." Frank said as Gerard gave him a skeptical look because he knew Frank wanted to say something that would later come back to haunt the band. Frank saw Gerard's cautious look and sighed "...Your loss"  he simply said as Ray was asked a question from an alarming young lady who made him smile instantly when she asked him about his shoe size "Dude, you made me sound so lame" Frank whispered over to Gerard

 "I know and I'm sorry but what was I supposed to do? You wanted to be cocky again" Gerard replied softly as he got a scowl from Frank and they looked in front of them again

 "These are some questions we got from fans" A woman sais with thick rimmed glasses holding some cards in her hands "First question is from Rose who lives in London she asks: If you could any part in a movie, which would it be?"

 "That's a very interesting question, let me think bout that for a while" Gerard said as he started thinking

 "That question will be prickling him for a while" Frank laughed "But to give you my answer I would love to be in a horror movie - just to get slashed and dashed right there" He smiled enthusiastically 

 "I'd play the killer who slashes and dashes Frank with a loaf of bread" Mikey smiled childishly as Frank started laughing hysterically

 "Then afterwards they would have a picnic between fields and fields of flowers" Bob cooed

 "I know!" Gerard blurted out as his face lit up "I've always wanted to be in a musical"

 "We use to call him twinkle toes" Ray stated as the group laughed "It's just seeing you in tights like that Peter Pan production that takes my breath away" Gerard's face turned red a little

 "On to the next question please" He demanded

 "This next question is from Anna in Los Angeles - she wants to know what turns you on?"

 "Fluffy bunny slippers" Bob claimed and Danielle laughed at his answer

 "Then I better go buy me a pair right now" She chuckled over to Jamie reaching for the popcorn

 "I would have to say... Ray's 'fro. No doubt about it" Mikey answered receiving a stupid look from Ray

 "This is a hard question...erm...boxers" Gerard shrugged

 "I don't think they understood that question all to well" Jamie shook her head smiling broadly at the silliness

 "Moving on" Frank slowly said

 "No, c'mon! Frank you haven't given your answer yet" Bob yelled from the other end as Frank tried to hide a smile and his face gushing red

 "No I can't." He told them as they looked at him urging him on "Fine! Make it...Gerard. Now moving on" After Frank's episode they continued answering five more questions laughing some of them off and making jokes about others, until Gerard got asked another personal question

 "I think we all are rather curious to know this next question. It's from Bethany in Texas - she asks: Since the magazines published pictures of you and a girl together and loads or rumors circling the web that you are in love if they are true. Gerard could you please tell us what your relationship is with Skylar Storm, are you just friends or are you in a serious relationship...?"

 "Ah the million dollar question" Frank sat back in his chair as he wanted to hear what his brilliant answer would be

 Gerard held his head down most probably thinking about what his answer would be himself. He sat up, leaned foreword placing his elbows on the table, staring straight into the Mtv2 camera...then he gave his answer. Frank shot a glance his way as that wasn't the answer he expected.  The rest of the band members looked confusing at him. Danielle and Jamie's eyes shot wide as they slowly turned their heads to one another...

 "Oh shit" They exclaimed in unison.

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Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 40:

 "You guys must me psyched because in two days you'll be on your way to Europe" Brian said as all of them were sitting in a restaurant for yet another meeting "You'll be ending in Mexico, that's where your last show is. Can you believe it's another end to a fantastic album?"

 "Not really, it doesn't feel like it. I can still remember coming up with chords playing my own thing that was totally different from Ray's" Frank laughed

 "Who can forget that, you kept on disappearing all the time" Mikey shook his head

 "It was a fun record to make, not to mention hard and terrifying" Ray widened his eyes trying to state his point

 "Yes, so terrifying that Mikey here had to come sleep in my room. On my bed. Next to me." Gerard said looking at Mikey who just smiled broadly and sipped his caramel latte

 "Don't get mad at me, it was scary in the mansion. You even sang about it in a song. If you asked me, I'd say you were just as scared and when I came crawling up in bed next to you, you sighed with relief" Mikey claimed

 "Well no one asked you" Frank replied cocky and got a scowl form Mikey

 "I just think that with the next record I have to take it a bit easy with my drumming" Bob told them

 "Why? Are you a sissy?" Frank cooed with a teasing grin

 "No my name isn't Frank" Bob sneered up at him

 "Touché" Frank nodded firmly and started smelling the air

 "My wrists have been sore the past weeks and I don't want something serious to be wrong with them, I don't want to go through doctors and all those things. It's a waste of time" He told them

 "Maybe you should just go to a doctor and check it out; we don't want something to happen later on. Maybe it got worse" Ray said as Frank continued irritating Gerard by smelling the air then smelling him

 "If it gets worse I will. Danielle will surely send me to one no doubt about it" Bob informed them

 "Stop it" Gerard yelled demanding over at Frank

 "But you really smell nice" Frank complimented "So sexy and manly" he said smelling Gerard's neck again "Just so...so...grrr"

 "And now you want to make love to him?" Mikey scoffed and they laughed

 "No, I'm just curious where he got it" Frank replied like it was obvious "Because he doesn't have good taste in much"

 "Skylar got it for me, you know as a present" Gerard told him and he nodded "On the other hand, she has really good taste in things"

 "And what did you give her as a present? Some knitted mittens?" Mikey mocked his brother's bad taste

 "No, but thanks now I know what to buy you for Christmas" Gerard wiggled his brows over at Mikey

 "Before I forget, tomorrow - which would be Thursday; you guys have a press conference in the afternoon, it will be aired by Fuse and Mtv2 so choose your words carefully and I think it will be a good idea if you start discussing the future of the band right here now to get your story straight" Brian suggested as they looked at each other

 "What will be asked?" Frank wanted to know as he slurped the last few drops from the bottom of his cup out of his straw then shook it frowning "Man I that was one good drink"

 "You know the press, anything can be asked at anytime. Buzznet will be there as well with some questions from the fans and who knows what will pop out of there. That's why I said choose your words carefully, we don't want a mess or any miss communication." Brian replied as Frank started glaring at Gerard's drink

 "Yeah you mean like the Daily Mail miscommunications?" Ray chuckled

 "Yes, that was just a bad experience. But I have to say our fans stood up for us, a lot" Mikey added

 "Psst" Frank called Gerard as he looked over his shoulder because he was leaning over the table

 "What?" Gerard asked him and he pointed to the drink Gerard was holding his hands "What about it?"

 "Can I have it?" He whispered to him

 "No"

 "Aw please, it was so good and you're the only one who ordered the same" He pleaded with his famous puppy dog eyes and pouty lip. Gerard rolled his eyes and shook his head

 "Then order another, you can surely afford it famous rock star" Gerard said cooing and returned to his previous conversation leaving Frank to sulk 

 "Okay let's start going through some fine line details that should be known for tomorrow, we have to be prepared for anything" Gerard got them started as Frank called a waiter to order himself another drink.

 ******

 I stood in the shop with a clipboard in my hands checking to see if everything was still there while Abby stood next to me with a calculator in her hands adding up the amounts I read out loud to her. I was in the middle of counting the last few shirts of Green Day when Danielle came storming in the door with an excited look plastered all over her face.

 "What's with the barging in?" I asked her curiously as she walked over to me

 "We're going dress hunting" She squealed and smiled at her actions "I took the day off because we didn't do anything and then in the middle of my packing up I decided that we can go look for dresses. I asked Jamie but she has a class and then I skipped over here"

 "That's great, just one problem. I can't leave Abby here alone" I told her and her facial expression dropped

 "Why not?"

 "Because..."

 "Skylar its fine, you can go. I mean we finished the ordering, we got all the deliveries, all the stock seems to add up with the amounts and we checked inventory. I'll be fine. Now go and help your friend look for her dream dress!" She urged me on as Danielle got her expansive smile back

 "I totally like you" Danielle said over to Abby as I got my stuff from behind the counter and hooked my arm in with hers and we were off to go dress hunting.

 As we scurried through the streets of New York searching high and low for the places we thought had the best dresses, we decided to do some Christmas shopping in between since we were browsing around together in the city, walking past so many shops along the way.

 Danielle started freaking out in the middle of her shopping because she didn't know what to buy Bob and after some encouraging words I helped her through it and she was back on track with her list. I got all my presents I had to buy and I must add I was now slightly poorer than I was, but it was worth spending all the money I had on people I care about.   

 Three hours later I was waiting for Danielle to pay her last item as I was holding dozens of packets in my two hands. We still didn't find a wedding dress shop that caught our attention and made us gasp. Who'd thought it would be so hard to find that perfect dress. As I waited I turned around and looked across the street and to my surprise I saw it. I saw a dress that would fit Danielle perfectly...

 "Thanks" Danielle said to the cashier and she walked up next to me "Why do you have that stupid smile on your face?" Danielle asked

 "Dude, c'mon!" I grabbed her hand with the packets and hauled her across the street over to the shop's window and I pointed to it "Ain't it purdy?"

 "I love it! I want to fit it, like now" She said and we walked in being greeted by the kind ladies who worked in the wedding shop. The whole shop looked so fancy with steps and mirrors. White carpets and classy wallpaper and fine details like classic couches and paintings against the wall.

 Danielle showed them the dress she wanted to fit and they got it for her. She walked to a little fitting room, or should I rather say big fitting room and fitted the dress. I was waiting in the front sitting on the fancy couch with the packets placed on the floor next to my feet. I glanced over to the ladies and saw they were dressed in black suit-jackets and knee down skirts. I tried my best to look civilized and highly cultured to fit in and not look completely clueless. I sat up straight and crossed my feet at the bottom sitting like the queen from 'Princess Dairies'  but when I looked up I slouched again dropping my shoulders, with my jaw dropping down just staring...

 "Holly fuck" I yelled and forgot I was trying to be civilized "I mean, don't you just look absolutely ravishing darling" I complimented her in an English accent which made her laugh

 "I think you've been around Gerard to much" She informed me as I walked closer to her and inspected her carefully

 "I think you look gorgeous" I smiled over at her as she went up three small steps and took her place in front of the mirror. I saw her breath in deeply as she looked at herself. I put my hands over my mouth just thinking how beautiful she looks in that strapless white gown with silver beading and minutiae.

 It hugged her body tightly but she could still breathe. It showed off her curves and complimented her figure a lot. I never thought that a dress could bring me to tears but that dress did.

 "Wow, you look amazing" One of the ladies said as she walked up to us "Let's just get these straps fastened at the back" She said as she started threading them in nicely and made a little bow with the platinum colored material when she was done "When is your wedding?"

 "Oh it's not for another eight month. I actually just started looking for dresses today" Daniele told her and she met the ladies eyes in the mirror

 "But she's proud to say that this is the first dress she fitted, because the others we looked at just didn't stand out" I added quickly

 "Yes and I'm sure that a lot of brides have tons dresses they like and fit then at the end they can't decide" Danielle opinionated

 "To be honest, no. We have seen so many brides come into this shop and hearing their stories on how they search for that perfect gown for months, you'd think they'd never find it" The lady stated as I stood next to Danielle

 "So consider yourself lucky that you've found your perfect dress" I told her and she nodded and saw her respire

 "But there are still so many shops and so many months left. Don't you think we're deciding to fast?" She asked me unsure

 "It doesn't matter. It's the first dress that caught our eye and made us gasp. We walked past tons of other wedding shops and they just didn't have anything you wanted to fit. Danny you know me, I don't like any dress. I honestly think you've found your fairytale dress" I told her and she smiled from ear-to-ear again looking back in the mirror "I can't wait to see you eight months from now walking down that aisle"

 "God, I've always pictured this moment walking around searching for a dress, just never thought I'd find it so promptly. Thank you for seeing it"

 "Not a problem at all. We can still look around but I'll deposit this one for sure" I told her as she squealed and we started squealing together. She walked back to the fitting room and changed back into her clothes as she told the ladies she wanted the dress. After some explaining and filling in some papers we were back out in the city.

 "Now you need the perfect shoes" I grinned to her

 "You read my mind" She said with her voice filled with glee and we ran into the nearest shoe store.

 ******

 "Hi Donna" I greeted her when I entered the kitchen as she was busy cutting up some vegetables for dinner. She had invited me over because she said it has been to long since I showed my gorgeous little face there

 "Hello dear" She smiled warmly at me "How are you doing, glad you could make it"

 "I'm doing just fine thanks. Been running down the streets of New York with Danielle doing Christmas shopping and dress hunting" I told her as I walked up next to her "I'm also glad I could make it. How have you been, everything still fine with the household?"

 "Yes things are hunky dory thanks for asking" She used an old saying that made me chuckle as she went over to the sink and rinsed the veggies placing them next to her "Mikey has been sleeping most of his days, that boy never wanted to go anywhere on his school vacations, he would always just sleep in. Gerard on the other hand...you keep him busy"

 "I do, don't I?" I smirked as she threw a glance over towards me

 "For sure and happy I might add. I've never seen him like this; he always lightens up when he's around you. You make him do things he would usually never do" She told me and I frowned still keeping my smile. I started drifting into my thoughts thinking about what he said. Hearing his mother say these things to me made it hard, I was so confused - I hated to be confused, merely because my thoughts are the only thing I have control over.

 "I make him do things he normally wouldn't, like how?" I asked her inquisitive. I went over to the table and sat down on one of the chairs

 "Well...there are, of course...small little things a mother notice" She couldn't give me a straight answer, which alone made me swallow a knot. I put my elbows on the table and let my hands fall to the table as I started picking at my light blue nail polish "Minor things, which would soon turn into bug things" She tried explaining and I just nodded politely

 "Yeah like breaking hearts?" I mumbled low to myself

 "I'll be right back, I have to go get something in the next room" She said as she walked out and I was left alone only to sink more deeper into what I was thinking, which could become dangerous.

 I was hesitant to ask his mother about his former relationships. I never do these things but I fear that I had let my guard down just because Gerard was able to sweep me off of my feet and give me one of the best nights I ever had. His charming smile and shimmering eyes, subtle voice and mind blowing lyrics. His gentle touch and way of making you feel special. I was stupid for trusting him so easily just because he was one of my heroes.

 "Stupid little girl! You fell for the whole package you said you would never fall for! You played into his hands, making you look weak. Congratulations"

 

 

  

 

Unconditional Faith

 

Chapter 39:

 I sat at the island the next morning with my laptop placed on the table and bunch of papers scattered everywhere. My mind was a complete mystery even to me, the things that had just suddenly shot into my head after last night was explanatory. I was hyped up on coffee and candy as I sat there typing with my purple reading glasses carefully balanced on my face.

 "What could this be about? What do I want it to be about and should I make a big deal about this? Is there something he's not telling me...? Crap I'm off track again, stop thinking about it!"

 I heard the front door slam and a cheery little tune was being hummed by a delightful voice. It made me smile slightly to myself as the cheery person walked straight in the kitchen and froze when she saw me.

 "Wait don't tell me, baggy light purple pajama pants, tight fitting white tank top topped off with your reading glasses. You're writing again aren't you?" Danielle figured out as I looked at her and she swayed over to me and gracefully sat down across from me

 "Yup I am, kinda, I couldn't sleep so I just came here" I told her as I sat there thinking and she took hold of one of the papers lying on the table and examined it

 "But these are all your songs" She frowned taking hold of another

 "I know but I have a plan and I'm sticking to it. Each song tells a story, each story holds a memory and each memory..."I stopped and thought of something good to say "Yeah okay that's as far as I got but you'll see. It's just like I'm documenting my life and what each song means to me"

 "Ah I get it, good idea. Like you're explaining why you wrote it. Is there any valid reason for this much trouble?" She asked me getting up on both her feet walking towards the fridge "Because you're thinking which you haven't been doing since you met Gerard"

 "Actually..." I got started turning my body to the right so I could face her. I took hold of my glasses and placed it carefully on a sheet of paper next to my laptop "Last night when I came back I experienced something that I never thought I would"

 Danielle lifted her head from the fridge and looked at me with an apprehensive look "Gross okay where'd you two do it this time?" She asked looking around the room as I laughed at her words

 "We didn't do it anywhere" I informed her as she sighed with relief

 "Thank God, because the only place you haven't tried would be...erm..." She thought hard "Never mind, carry on"

 "I walked home and opened the front door gently and I saw all the lights were off but the television was on so there was a light glow coming from the living room. When I closed the door I heard stuff" I stopped

 "What stuff?"

 "I heard breathing and moaning. I tip-toed to the doorway and to my surprise I saw Gerard sitting on the couch rather enjoying himself. Like you know last night we were all a little bit drunk or at least tipsy, and for a moment I thought the wine was playing tricks on me but it wasn't" I told her as she looked intrigued now leaning against the wall with her arms crossed across her chest

  "Let me see if I understand: You came home, found Gerard enjoying himself without you...as in he was..." She said as I nodded

 "He was watching that gross stuff on television!" I blurted out a little bit pissed as a saw a small smile creep its way on her face "Don't you dare! I told you last night that we aren't having sex and then I walk in on him pleasing himself, what the fuck is that about?"

 "I'm sorry but I can't help but smile, or chuckle at least a little bit" She said walking to the table "Maybe the sex-drive came back and he couldn't wait for you any longer so he did the obvious, turned to his right hand man" She cracked and laughed as I scowled at her

 "Danny you're not exactly helping here you know" I pouted letting my head fall down to the left and it hit the table softly as she looked down to me then bent down and kissed me on the cheek gently "If the sex-drive had come back why didn't he tell me?"

 "I certainly have no clue what to tell you except what I already have about the sex-drive coming back. Maybe he didn't tell you because he feels embarrassed about it" She comforted "What did you do when you saw the whole...thing"

 "At first I just started and then I frowned and then I giggled, I kinda started at him for a really long time so he might have been at the end of it all. Then I decided that I would turn back to the door, open it and slam it hard, which I did so he would think I had just walked in then I yelled "Honey I'm home, plus I'm tipsy and a little bit horny. All your favorite things" Then I just kissed him and that was about it. I guess he must've ejaculated when I turned around and decided to slam the door because he wasn't hard when I saw him"

 "Lovely" She cooed "Is he still here?"

 "Yes, he's sleeping like a baby" I told her "How was your night in Bob's new apartment?"

 "It was amazing! When he saw I was tipsy he got all excited for some reason. We spent the hours on breaking-in his new furniture" She wiggled her brows towards me

 "And apparently marking your territory" I mocked as she chuckled and poured herself a glass of crystal clear water "Wonder how Jamie is doing, she was really wasted because she drank that wine like it was orange juice"

 "Yeah and Meredith's forehead, she must have this huge bump right in the middle of it" We laughed as Gerard came walking in with his messy hair and tiring eyes

 "Morning" He greeted with his bleary voice

 "Hello Gerard" Danielle smirked "Have a nice evening?" She tried hiding her facial expression behind her glass but it was noticeable and Gerard just frowned towards her

 "Yes thanks, it was pleasant" He answered her and he walked towards me as I just glared at Danielle as she started giggling softly

 "Uhm...you what I have to go take a shower otherwise I'm going to be late for work" She informed us as she skipped out of the kitchen "Too-de-lo" she said as I just shook my head and rolled my eyes

 "What was that all about?" Gerard wanted to know

 I shrugged with a smile on my face "Girl talk" I plainly said

 "Don't' even want to know" He sighed and opened the fridge

 "Wish I didn't either" I mumbled under my breath and continued my typing.

 

 ******

 

"Seven little prayers I'd pray to keep you safe through each day

From sunrise to sun set you always stayed

It's a hard life you've been through and I'm proud to say

I love you, is that okay?"

 I sang sitting with my guitar in the shop playing some melody to the lyrics I had come up with a few hours ago. I needed some kind of really nice picking to go with it and I really needed to write down the chords I was playing but instead I just sat there with my feet on top of the counter staring away into nothing but air as my fingers played at their own accord.

 "Dude!" I got startled by Abby who clapped her hands in front of my face "I have been talking to you for the past three minutes, haven't you heard me?"

 "No, I'm sorry I'm in a state of mind" I blushed as I got my feet off of the counter and put my guitar neatly against the wall behind me "What did you say?"

 "I said I like the song you were playing" She repeated herself "Is it a new one or old one?"

 "It's new, I think. I wasn't really aware of what I was doing sorry" I frowned

 "How's it going with Danielle's wedding plans?" She asked leaning on the counter as I stood up and got a book from the counter drawer

 "There haven't really been any plans made yet, except the honeymoon night of course. I guess I have to get my butt moving on the arrangements because I want to give her a beautiful wedding" I told Abby as I opened the book and gazed through it

 "Does she want a big wedding?" She asked me and I grabbed a pen from next to the computer screen and scribbled something in the book

 "No she doesn't. She wants to keep it all simple, but I'll leave the guest list to her and Bob because I really don't want to invite someone who shouldn't be there or forget someone who should" I widened my eyes and she laughed

 "Yeah that could be a big problem. If I can help out with anything just let me know" She smiled at me as I smiled back

 "Thanks" I said and slid the book over to her "Did you write down the orders we have to place for the next month?"

 "No I haven't. I can do it now if you want me to"

 "Please because I have to work out the budget. We have a strict one for the next couple of months until the economy clears up" I informed her as she took the book and the pen from my hands and hurried to the back again.

 I went over the computer and sat down opening the internet icon and Google appeared in front of my eyes. I figured I could get started on some ideas for the wedding and see what is out there because Danielle and Bob decided that they wanted to get married in exactly eight months which would make the date August 17^th and moa had to stick by her friend and take the stress of planning this whole wedding off of her shoulders.

******

 "Just the girl I wanted to see" I said when I saw Danielle standing in front of the stove with a wooden spoon in her hand "I got some ideas and things for your wedding"

 "Really? Show me!" She demanded as we moved over to the table and I showed the pictures and things I had printed out "Oh I like that" she pointed to the picture of a venue

 "Me to, the venue is nearby and apparently it's got five-stars which is good. I like the idea of the fairy lights they have used with the draping down the walls and it all coming together in the middle of the roof" I said exited because I could really see her having her wedding in this place

 "Yes and the rose petals that they had strewn in a circle in the dance floor, that's rather cute." She smiled up to me as I nodded "I'm guessing that's for when the bride and groom open the dance floor?"

 "It is, we have a lot of planning to prepare for and loads of site-seeing. If you have any ideas you have to write them down incase you forget or you change your mind" I pointed my finger at her

 "Well duh, who's always making lists?" She asked me rhetorical "Besides I trust your judgment and you have loads of ideas as well and I always love your ideas too"

 "Mhm we'll see but this is your wedding and I want it to be perfect because a girl always dreams of her fairytale wedding" I claimed and got out some pictures of flower arrangements

 "Holly shit my spaghetti!" She exclaimed and ran to the pot turning the knob to decrease the heat "Ai that was close, now show me flowers" She grinned broadly "To be honest I have no idea what I want as flower arrangements, or even what color my wedding should be" We heard someone clearing his throat and we turned our heads to the doorway and saw Bob standing there with Gerard

 "Our wedding, thank you very much" He stated and kissed Danielle sensually as Gerard came to sit down next to me

 "Hi" he smiled when he was only inches away from my face staring me straight in my eyes

 "Hi" I whispered and he kissed me lovingly for about five seconds before letting go then a smirk showed on his face and that left me confused. I shook it off and returned to the pictures I was about to show Danielle before we got interrupted

 "Let me see what's going on here because I'm the one paying for all of this" Bob said and got glares from me and Danielle "What, it's the truth"

 "I don't think the guy is suppose to know what's going on, he should just pay" Gerard chuckled and took hold of a picture with a wedding dress on it "Besides, isn't it better not knowing"

 "It might be better for you but I would like to know because maybe I'll be paying for something I don't even like...for example an ice-sculpture of a frog or something" Bob answered him and Danielle raised her left brow

 "You really think I'd get an ice-sculpture of a frog? I don't even want an ice-sculpture because it's cliché" She claimed proudly turning sharply on her heal returning to the stove.

 A few hours later after having dinner and hearing Jamie's story of her drunken adventure with Frank, I could finally go to bed early for a change and fall asleep peacefully. I got under my covers and snuggled up until I was comfortable enough and closed my eyes ready to drift away and let my dreams take over...that is, of course until I got interrupted.

 I felt arms curling their way around my waist and hands being pushed up under my shirt with fingertips grazing my skin. I opened my eyes and sighed softly not wanting to offend Gerard by telling him to go away. He burrowed up until he was close to me and started kissing me in my neck and I heard his breath whistling in my ear that sent chills down my spine and gave me goose bumps.

 "There are the goose bumps I have been waiting for" He whispered in the same ear that just got me more turned on

 "Of course now the sex-drive comes back when I want to sleep!"  I turned on my back and he moved himself until he was over me and kissed me furiously. I ran my fingers through his hair and hooked my legs around his waist. He slowly dragged his lips from my mouth to my neck and stopped at my collarbone when suddenly I got an urge to ask him a funny question.

 "Gerard, can I ask you something?" I asked him while he was caressing my body with his hands

 "Go ahead" He said quickly in a low voice moving his lips back up the way they came

 "How many girls have you dated, you know been a serious relationship with?" Was my funny question and he looked at me briefly with a slight frown

 "Four or maybe five" He answered me then touched my lips again

 "And...have...you...had...sex...with...all...of...them?" I asked between short kisses

 "Mhm" He replied and was fiddling with my shirt

 "I see, so what happened? Why did you break up?" I wanted to know as he stopped and sat up on my stomach looking down at me

 "What's with all the questions?"

 "I don't know, I'm just curious, so why did you break up?" He gave a sigh then let his head fall backwards before he looked at me again

  "It was all pleasant in the beginning then it became boring and my feelings changed. It just wasn't fun anymore" He answered me "They were just phases of my life"

 "Oh" I replied almost silent

 "Are we done with questioning?" He asked and I nodded as he stared kissing me again

 "I'm actually tired" I told him because I really wasn't in the mood anymore

 "I can help wake you up" He wiggled his brows and let his hand slip into my pants and I jumped when I felt his hand between my legs

 "I appreciate that but maybe another night? I'll make it up to you"

 "Sure, I don't want you missing out on your beauty sleep" He smiled and I rolled my eyes then pushed him off of me

 "Night" I said and just when he was about to give me a goodnight kiss, I turned around with my back facing him curling up most probably leaving him unsatisfied. I didn't really care because the answers I got from him were bothering me a lot.

 "It just wasn't fun anymore, what does he mean by that...does he think of me the same way? Is that why he's been so distant lately and is that the reason why we don't have sex anymore? God my thoughts are going to smother me!"

 Have I become boring to him? Has our relationship gone from pleasant to just another phase in his life? I had to talk to Danielle about this but knew she'd be sleeping by now. I couldn't help but think that I might end up one of his ex-girlfriends, rather soon I might add.

 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unconditional Faith:

 

Chapter 38:

I was back at work in my usual spot right behind the counter awaiting something interesting to happen. Usually when Danielle and I would get bored we'd hijack the sound system in the shop because it was amazing! Then we'd dance around going crazy singing enjoying our time until the next costumer came in then I would run and jump over the counter and turn the sound down and look casual while she would just stand randomly amongst the clothes.

Memories are something that will always remain, but with time fades into nothing but dust... which is sad, because when we are done serving our time on earth what will be left? A few documents that stated we lived on earth? A few photos of good times and smiles, which would most probably also end up tarnished and scorched.

We waste so much time just doing nothing, maybe because it's easier not doing anything? Just breathing and not really living, walking around going to the same job that offers the same situations and the same people. A timed down routine for a life...sounds invigorating. Mark my sarcasm.

People have become gutless, now and again you get people willing to strive for the impossible, fighting for what they believe in, but the majority of us just prefer to loaf around drinking, partying not having a goal...poor little unaware human beings.

 've always believed that I'm driven. Driven to make a difference and to stand up for people who need it. I never wanted to live a normal life getting up at a certain time everyday, going to work, doing the same things. Eating the same time then going back home, hang around for a few hours then sleep and then just do it all over again. Blah! No thank you!

Maybe that's why I've always turned to music. Maybe that's why I see myself being up on stage or touring. Nothing you do will ever be the same, nothing is at the same time, you tour and you never have the same scenery. You meet new people and most important - it's the best way to get out a message to thousands of people around the world. The music industry is the best place for a life full of excitement and of course loads of pressure and stress. Yet you enjoy it, you make priceless memories and you end up in the freakiest situations and do the silliest things...yes, I long for that.

Back in reality I'm stuck behind four walls, a few windows that vary sizes and a door made of shatter proof glass. Okay I don't always see the same people, and fine I don't always do the same thing but it's still the same scenery. It's still stuck in somewhat of a timed down routine life. I guess we have to make money in order to survive because this massive universe is being controlled by something called money - a dyed little perfectly cut paper with an amount put on it. Without that little piece of paper we can't do anything, at all. Makes we wonder: how would this world be without money? How would it be if money didn't divide us into certain groups or limit our buying methods? Would it be chaos or peace on earth? Your decision

I looked over at the clock hanging up high on the wall becoming impatient. I sighed and tapped my foot, watching the little seconds-hand tick its way up to the big twelve. I sent Abby to the back to check that all the deliveries had arrived and that nothing was missing. I had been gone for only a weekend but it felt like weeks.

I saw a truck stopping outside the shop as it was fitting itself into the loading zone with the cars rushing by him and the people walking past it. My smile grew and my heart started racing as a guy got out with a clipboard. He walked to the back of the truck accompanied by another two gentlemen. He pointed his fingers checking his clipboard and told them to follow him with some boxes and walked towards the shop. He pushed the door with his right hand and held it open for the other two men holding big brown boxes.

 "Hi, here to make a delivery" He smiled once he was at the counter and placed the clipboard in front of me

 "Yes" I said excited "Are those all?"

"No there are two more in the truck, they just went to fetch them" He told me and smiled big "Could you please sign here...here and...here" He indicated with his index finger as I grabbed a pen and started signing. The men brought in the two last boxes placing them next to the other two.

 "Thank you, have a nice day" I waved as they made their way out of the shop leaving four boxes in the middle of the floor "Ah!" I yelled and ran towards them grabbing the first one trying to open it

 "What's wrong?" Abby came running in from the back with a worried look on her face

 "It's here" I squealed loudly as she came walking closer with her hands on her hips and her chest heaving

 "Shit, more deliveries?" She asked as I just nodded struggling to get the tape off of the box "Need some help?"

 "Please. Just hand me scissors" I replied and she leaned over the counter to try and reach the pair of scissors. Once she got them she came to sit down next to me handing me the pair of sharp blades "I can't wait to put these out!"

 "Something tells me you like this band" She said noticing my urge and I handed her the scissors and she started opening a new one

 "I do! Danielle and I both love this band. They're just awesome" I answered her sticking my head half way inside light-blue shirts to grasp my size and plucked it out "When she hears we got these she's going to regret leaving"

 "I can see why, they aren't bad looking" She grinned to herself once her box was open "Wonder how their music is"

 I turned my head sharply towards her with eyes as round as saucers. Her smile faded once she saw my expression most probably wondering why I'm staring at her the way I was "Dude! No way, have you never heard them before?" I asked astonished

 "Nope, can't say I have" She shrugged as I gasped and jumped up, grabbing her arm hauling her to the back of the counter

 "You lack culture!" I informed her as she chuckled at my actions

 "I know, that's why I got a job here remember" She smiled childishly and I dug out an album from under the counter in one of the cupboards below.

 "Shh" I put my finger over my mouth and she jumped up taking a seat on the thick based surface "Now I shall be playing one of the fastest new up and coming bands to you, called 'There for Tomorrow' if you don't like them I don't care because I do and they will be playing in this shop for the next week" I smiled broadly pressing play as she just rolled her eyes and 'The Remedy' started blowing loudly out of the speakers.

 ******

 "I seriously think that would be a big no-no, on your wedding night" Meredith said as the four of us were sitting in the restaurant laughing dinning like the good old days before cupid hit us with his love arrows

 "Don't listen to her!" Jamie yelled holding the wine glass in her hand "Do it"

 "He'd be so scared; he'd think he was in the twilight zone...seriously people. Dressing up in an outfit is one thing but adding a whip is where I'd draw the line"

 "Just because you've got no sense of thrill or adventure in our sex life doesn't mean it's wrong. You get guys who do or like stuff that is just unthinkable, and at times gross" I stated chuckling reaching for my glass drinking the last few drops and I realized my wine was finished

 "How would you even know?" Meredith asked me as the waiter walked by and she grabbed hold of his white shirt "Excuse me, kind sir, but do you think you could bring us yet another bottle of this great tasting wine?" She asked him as he laughed and nodded his head turning around "Thank you old chap"

 "I have experience" I informed her raising my right brow smirking cocky as the three of them started chuckling

 "You never dated!" Jamie yelled over to me as I gasped loudly

 "I'm sure Gerard added some experience, but I have to say Skylar has always known what drives men mad" Danielle told us and I snorted "She's got a filthy mind" She said squinting her eyes tapping her index finger on the left side of her face

 "Why are we talking about me when we should be at the wedding night people?" I blurted out as the waiter came back and Jamie grabbed the bottle from him with a smile

 "I'll open it thank you, now scurry along" She shooed him away as she took the bottle opener and started pressing the sharp pointy edge into the cork "This one stubborn cork"

 "I say we go get you some fluffy hand-cuffs, a smoking hot outfit and a whip" I said pointing my finger at Danielle as she widened her eyes and followed my swaying finger

 "I'm surrounded by freaks" Meredith claimed as we heard a loud popping sound and all you saw was a flying Jamie who fell backwards off her chair and an airborne cork that shot Meredith right in the middle of her forehead. Danielle and I went hysterical as three waiters came to help Jamie back up and another brought Meredith an icepack

 After the whole episode with a silly cork and a wine bottle which contained one of the best tasting wines I had ever tasted, we sat there for a while not saying anything. Meredith was holding the icepack to her red and blue forehead. Jamie was concentrating to pour the red wine inside her glass and not on the lovely white table cloth while Danielle decided she wanted to smell the pretty flowers in the garden next to her.

 "Do you and Bob experiment a lot?" I asked Danielle as she swung her head back towards me while I was holding out my glass to Jamie so she can pour me another one as well

 "Uhm...yes I'd say so. We do it in various places and spaces" She answered me pressing her lips down on one another

 "I see, and do you only do it missionary style or..." I added because I was rather curious to know

 "Mostly, but we change now and again" she replied as Jamie moaned holding her glass in both her hands staring into it

 "It's empty again!" she whined "I think it's broken" we shook our heads as Meredith helped her out by pouring her yet another glass

 "Anyway, why are you asking about our skills" Danielle wiggled her brows at me

 "I was just wondering, you know me I'm weird like that." I told her and she chuckled

 "I think that Skylar is always on top" Jamie mumbled with her red cheeks

 "Why would you think that exactly?" I looked surprised towards her as Meredith nodded in agreement

 "Because you're so demanding and ambitious" Meredith claimed "I mean you like to dominate and in this case dominate Gerard, be in total control"

 "Ha-ha" I said dry shaking my head as Danielle tried to hide a smile with her hand "For your information I don't like being on top at all. I find myself being seriously self conscious in that position. My favorite would also be missionary because I actually like it when Gerard takes control, then he can dominate me" I explained

 "Doggy-style" Jamie exclaimed from her end of the table and the three of us looked at her confused "I love doggy-style"

 "Ew" I wrinkled up my nose thinking about Gerard fucking me like a dog

 "That's fun yeah" Meredith chimed with a smile on her face

 "Are you guys being gross?" Danielle wanted to know "It's such an awkward position. Him taking you by the hips and just thrusting away, you can't see him just feel him"

 "You can't touch him, or kiss him. I like seeing his facial expressions and I love kissing Gerard a lot and him being behind me is just so...how can I put this, it's hard to explain it. Mostly has something to do with control"

 "I agree with Sky, I like seeing Bob as well and having the picture in my head makes me want more wine" Danielle claimed

 "Doggy-style is where I  experience one of my best orgasms" Jamie shared that little detail with us and Danielle spit out her beverage while I smiled broadly at my drunk friend sharing intimate details with us

 "Dude, that's a bit blunt" Meredith said a bit in shock as Danielle was wiping her mouth with a napkin "Gosh"

 "Oh get over it, we after all best friends and these things are normal. I appreciate drunken Jamie sharing that because that bumped you up to a bigger Christmas present" Jamie giggled while holding up a dorky smile "Can I tell you guys a secret" I got started and they hurled closer to the table "I haven't had sex in a while" I whispered and all of the gasped

 "You're lying" Meredith claimed and I shook my head

 "Wish I was, but it's true sadly..." I pouted

 "Why?" Danielle asked worried "Is there something wrong?"

 "I don't know, Gerard just isn't in the mood lately. It's like the whole sex drive has disappeared" I shrugged and Danielle put her hand on my shoulder

 "Aw honey I'm sure it will come back. Maybe he's just preoccupied" she comforted me and I gave her a weak smile as we moved on to our next topic which would be underwear.

 We sat and babbled for at least another hour before we decided to move along because it was getting late and the guys were probably waiting for us. We said goodbye to Meredith since she's leaving for months and we would most probably see her at Danielle's wedding. Jamie called Frank who came to pick her up because she has been staying over at his place for a change. Danielle called herself a cab because Bob bought a new apartment a few blocks away and it would be her first night staying there. Me on the other hand, I decided to stroll down the streets because the apartment was just a block away and I had a man waiting for me.

 I reached my building and started climbing the few stairs until I reached my apartment door. I got out the little key and carefully placed it in the lock and turned it and the door opened. I stepped inside and saw all the lights were off but there was a faint glow coming from the living room. I closed the door and just when I had locked it I heard heavy breathing and moaning coming out of the room with the faint glow. I raised my brows and walked to the doorway slowly and saw Gerard sitting on the couch with his back turned towards me. My eyes grew to the size of saucers and I couldn't believe what I saw. Was the wine playing tricks on me...?

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Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 37:

 Gerard opened the front door and walked into a dark room. He threw down his bag right behind the couch and continued walking in the darkness towards the kitchen. He slid his hand amongst the light yellow painted wall to the switch of the lights and turned it on. When he looked in front of him he got startled by the sight of his mother sitting on the chair at the table looking at him.

 "Shit" he jumped and put his hand on his chest "Mom what are you doing here sitting in the dark. I thought you all were asleep"

 "I was but I couldn't fall asleep again. I wasn't sure if you were coming home tonight or tomorrow morning" She told him as he made his way to the coffee maker

 "Want some coffee?" He asked her and she shook her head then he shrugged towards her and got a cup for himself "I was going to sleep over at Skylar but I decided not to. Danielle grabbed her once she stepped inside and told her to tell her everything that had happened so that's when I said goodbye and came here"

 "How was the visit?" She wanted to know sitting back in her chair "I remember you mentioning that she doesn't have a close relationship with her family"

 Gerard moved himself from the coffee maker over to the table and stood a few feet away from his mother holding his cup in his hand, while burying the other in his pocket "Yeah, she really doesn't. The visit was fine but it got a little out of hand with her mother's side. They had this huge fight but I couldn't understand anything they said because they spoke in their language. She's really broken up about it."

 "Poor girl, she's so nice she doesn't deserve a family like that" His mother replied low

 "She doesn't" Gerard said then sipped his scolding hot cup

 "There's something I want to talk to you about" she got started "Sit down" She pointed with her finger and Gerard looked skeptical at her

 "A bout..." He asked unsure

 "Your father told me everything, about what you are planning to do. I think it's strange coming from you" She told him and he put his elbows in front of him on the table "I just want you to be sure, one-hundred-and-twenty percent sure"

 "I am, I am positive that it's the right thing to do otherwise I wouldn't even be thinking about it none-the-less have told dad about it" Gerard answered her

 "Does Mikey know?"

 "He does, he was with when I told dad. He seemed frightened by my words, but that's expected because I always said I would never do this" He chuckled thinking about the facial expression on his brother's face

 "Then do it, I trust you will do the right thing before you leave" His mother said then reached into her robe's pocket and took out something. She placed it on the table then slid it over to Gerard as his eyes followed it "There"

 "Mom this is...this is..." He stuttered as he reached for it and looked inside "This is to much, I can't accept this"

 "Of course you can, your dad and I want this for you and when she died she wanted you to have it" His mom assured him then took hold of his right hand and smiled "Take it, protect it and live your life and pass it down"

 "Thanks" Gerard smiled back

 "Well that's it for me. I'm exhausted" His mom got up and yawned "Now make sure you get loads of sleep before you go away because you boys never sleep a lot while you're touring" She told him then walked over to him and kissed his forehead "Goodnight"

 "Night mom" Gerard smiled as he watched his mother walk out and disappear into the darkness of the living room. He returned his gaze back to the object holding it in his right hand. He nodded slowly with a tiny smirk on his face...

******

 I sat on my bed while I was telling Danielle what had happened back in South Africa. I told her everything from the minute we landed all the way through. She just sat next to me with an intriguing facial expression that made me chuckle a few times as I was explaining my story

 "I can't say it surprises me though" Danielle said to me after I was done telling her about the fight that had happened a few hours ago

 "I know, but I'm not going back at all" I told her and she nodded understanding "and my gran knew it"

 "Huh...what you mean?"

 "This morning when Gerard and I got up to leave she called me from her room. I of course went and when I opened the door I couldn't breathe because of all the smoke that was in there, I stood there wheezing for like two minutes. After I regained my normal breathing patterns she told me she is sorry. She is sorry that everything happened the way it did and that it wasn't the way she wanted the visit to be" I started

 "I like your gran, she has always been the nice one from everything I've heard" Danielle claimed

 "She is, I miss her a lot. She said she's happy for me and she knows that this is the last time she'll see me... that actually scared me a bit...does she know something I don't?" I asked in general thinking back

 "She is getting old Sky, I mean we don't live forever" She sighed and put her hand on my right leg

 "I guess. I think I just find it strange because she was always there and now to just imagine her gone is strange" I said "Can't stop the circle of life, now can we?"

 "That was rhetorical right?" Danielle asked me unsure and I gave a faint chuckle

 "I missed you" I claimed and hugged her tight "Oh I haven't told you the funniest part of the whole trip!" I somewhat yelled as the memory shot to the surface of my mind

 "Well don't sit there like an idiot staring at me, tell me" She demanded

 "We got chased through the mall by a group of fan-girls!"

 "No way!" She gasped and I laughed

 "Way sister, they were mostly chasing Gerard but damn I ran away to so they chased us. It wasn't easy getting away though" We chuckled together and suddenly there was a loud thud against the wall and both of us stopped laughing and I looked at Danielle with wide eyes "That came from the other side right...?"

 "Frank's back" She informed me

 "Ah, that explains the thud" I replied nodding pressing my lips down on one another "When did he arrive?"

 "Some time this afternoon, I'm not hundred-percent sure because I was sleeping and when I woke up Bob looked disturb, when I asked him what's wrong he just told me to listen and I heard he was back" She explained "To be honest I'm kinda glad you are at Gerard a lot these days to have sex because I have the room right in the middle of you two, and if there was pounding and sounds from both sides I'd never be here"

 "We aren't that loud are we?" I frowned and she gave me a look

 "Oh really" She asked me lifting her left-brow the way she always did "Oh Gerard! God, Gerard... Yes, Skylar, Oh wow Skylar" She cooed me making sexual sounds and breathing as I started going hysterical "Then you hear, pound... boom... crash... smash... thud and a bit of squeaking, which I hope comes from the bed other wise you'd have to go see a doctor"

 "That was seriously unexpected" I exclaimed laughing holding my hands in front of my mouth "That's not all we say, I hope...I don't really keep track"

 "Believe me it's not all you say, you yell like crazy and he moans incredibly. So either you both are seriously made for each other because you complete the 'circle'" She put it in quotation marks with her fingers "Or you both are seriously just fucking weird"

 "A bit of both" I shrugged "You can't really say anything, you're just as audible through these walls missy"

 "Bullshit" She coughed

 "I can recall sitting on the couch one night all cuddled up with Gerard..." I started taking her back to that very night:

 "Gerard, do you hear that" I asked him lifting my head looking at him

 "I do, I thought it was the movie" He chuckled and we heard another noise. I sat up frowning and then heard the name Bob being yelled a few times after each other "Never mind, I know who it is and what's going on" He said as I giggled and laid back down

 "I never knew they could be deafening, thought that was only us" I told him as he nodded

 "Give it to" We heard and our eyes shot wide "Harder, oh yeah..."

 We both sat there holding in our laughter but it got too much. The things being said or rather yelled were funny as hell.

 "This might not be the right time but...erm...they're kinda turning me on" I admitted blushing

 "Thank God! I thought I was the only one" He sighed with relief and before we knew it we were out of the apartment on our way to his parent's house

 After taking her to that faithful night I was now staring at a gushing-red face looking down to the ground "Okay so we like it rough, big deal"

 "Yeah my buttie, rough is really good at times but I love it when Gerard gets romantic and takes it all gentle and slow" I told her and she nodded in agreement "He is actually always rough come to think of it but he gets his moments"

 "Thanks now I know what your sex-patterns are" Danielle replied sarcastically "I really want to surprise Bob on our honeymoon"

 "Hey!" I remembered something yet again and couldn't believe I had forgotten about this huge thing happening in my best friend's life "Dude! Let me see the ring" I grabbed her hand and started gazing at the pretty little stone "Gorgeous"

 "Thank you" She said proudly admiring her ring after I did

 "If you stick with me, I can assure you that he will be surprised on your wedding night" I nudged her arm wiggling my brows at her smirking

 "I know, that's why I was going to ask for your help" She said

 "I see, don't worry I will take you through everything you need to make him wet his pants when he sees you" I grinned thinking of what I was going to do

 "I have the best, best friend in the world" She smiled broadly and hugged me tightly as I hugged her back "Even if you are really horny at times"

 I gasped and chuckled loudly "Shush, you're spoiling the moment"

 ******

The next day some time in the late morning, way up north from the city, Meredith was clearing out her things in Robert's closet getting ready to leave in a few hours for the 'Vans Warped Tour'

"Robert" Meredith yelled from the bedroom as he came rushing in sticking his head in the doorway

 "Yes" He asked once he was there

 "Have you seen my new converse? You know the ones with the neon-laces" She asked him as she was scampering through his room searching high and low for her things

 "I think I saw them under the couch" He answered her thinking

 "Could you please go and have a look for me?" She asked him nicely turning around putting all of her make-up back in its little case when the front door slammed. Meredith turned around and got her underwear from the closet and placed it on the bed next to her bag. Robert came walking in with her converse in his hands as she took them from him and gave him a light kiss on the lips.

 "Sup' girl" Max asked casual leaning in the doorway with both his hands in his pockets

 "Not much, just packing I guess trying to get ready before we leave" She answered him and he came closer to the bed and reached for something as Meredith hit his hand and he snapped it back pouting "You don't touch my undies sir"

 "Don't flatter yourself. I was reaching for the pamphlet to see the schedule for the tour" He told her and grabbed it quickly before he got slapped again and fell down on the bed "Besides I'm only interested in touching your dear friend's underwear" he grinned holding up the little reading article

 Meredith frowned looking at him trying to figure out what he meant by that "You're not coming near any one of my friends"

 "Oh c'mon, don't be like that. Skylar and I get along pretty well"

 "Skylar?" Meredith asked almost laughing "Dude that you can gladly forget about, she's more than happy with who she's got"

 "We'll talk again" Max nodded confident as Meredith shook her head in amusement zipping up her bag and placing it on the floor "So like what type of underwear does your sexy friend wear?"

 "Max!" She yelled at him and he just shrugged chuckling

 "What's he up to this time" Robert asked walking in from the bathroom

 "He wants to hook-up with Skylar and I said no because she's happy and he wants to know what underwear she wears... that's the end of it. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go do some things before I get ready for my dinner date with my friends which won't be containing any male company whatsoever" She turned sharply on her heal out of the room walking down the hall

 "I think she wears hipsters, perfectly fitting her perky buns" Max grinned up to Robert as he stared down at him nodding

 "You need help, really" Robert stated "I challenge you to Guitar Hero!" He slapped Max's knee and ran out the door to the game that was set up in his living room

 "Be prepared to get burned" Max warned him as he took a guitar and put it over his should licking the tips of his fingers acting all cool. Robert turned on the game and got his place next to Max as they waited for the game to start.

 

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Unconditional Faith:

 

Chapter 36:

 I was lying on the grass in the summer air with the gentle breeze blowing over me. Gerard had his arm placed under my neck as his fingers were grazing my hair. The people called my family were sitting under the sink-roof. The women were around the long wooden table chatting about the crime and their kids achievements. Gossiping about the latest happenings as the guys sat at the bar drinking making jokes with the barbeque blazing behind them just to shake off the stress from work.

 I missed this house a lot. After all it was the place I grew up in for thirteen years before I went to live with my mother and her new husband. My gran had raised me and honestly she is the only one out of everybody who knows me well enough to comment about my life because I would take it to heart and think through the comment she had made.

 Whenever I was sick, I would want to come to my gran. Whenever I was sad, I wanted to come to my gran. I always get a comfort feeling from this place and it made me feel safe, secure and tranquil. She would always take such good care of me even if I just came to visit for a few days in my school holidays, buying me little things I like or tasty treats I loved. Would make my favorite dinners and would take me to the mall to keep me entertained. The small little things grandmas do is love you can't find any where else... I will really miss her once she's gone.

 I helped my gran in the kitchen after we had arrived. We talked for a while before everyone showed up and the place become complete chaos with the kids running around screaming and playing. I had introduced Gerard to everyone and so far the night has been fine. Nobody has questioned me. Nobody has accused or blamed me for leaving, which was good and I had a relaxed feeling about that within me. The hours had flown by us and it was already six-thirty and with that Gerard and I wanted to break away from the conversations even if the people were only ten feet away from us.

 "I think I like South Africa" He said after a while of lying in silence listening to the laugher to our left

 "Really" I asked surprised "May I ask why?"

 "Because it's beautiful here, it's peaceful and people seem close. Family wise I mean" He answered "Plus the weather is great, no chilliness at all" he added quickly and I pulled a face

 "People seem close huh, don't be fooled. They just pretend because they want to find out what's going on in everyone's lives so they can go and gossip about it later to other people" I told him then sighed "In any case you are already close to your family, you have a strong relationship"

 "We do, don't we?" He asked rhetorical "It's just when I compare my life to yours it seems like everything from your life is about faking and seeing who can be better and mine is about true feelings and altruism, family wise of course. Two different worlds"

 "Exactly, the other miracle is the fact that I'm not like them at all. Maybe I just saw everything the way it really was and decided to disconnect myself because I hated the way people reacted and hurt each other" I spoke into the night sky throwing my left arm over Gerard's torso and putting my head on his warm chest and he held me tighter.

 "Like the people who are suppose to be your friends at school but in reality they are the ones making your life hell. Everything seems to deteriorate when you're a teenager. It all seems so hard, like you are carrying the world on your shoulders, for most of us. People are the cause for breaking hearts and souls, creating depression and a higher suicide rate" Gerard claimed as I listened to every word he was saying

 "Then we blame God for our misfortune when we are the ones making it all corrupt choosing to strive the wrong way when He gives us choices for a better life. We reject Him in the good times and call on Him in the bad times..." I chuckled briefly to myself thinking how we as human beings are actually pathetic "After all the hurt we put Him through he still loves and forgives us"

 "You state really good points do you know that?"

 "I know, to much time thinking I guess" I shifted my head a little wanting to hear his heart-beat and I closed my eyes listening to the rhythm of his existence

 "Thanks for bringing me with you" He thanked me and I opened my eyes frowning wondering why he would be expressing his gratitude

 "Should I say something back now, because I kinda don't have an idea what to answer you" I said with insecurity

 "You don't have to say a word, I just wanted you to know how I feel" He answered me and I lifted my head putting my chin on his chest looking at his face "I love the way we can talk about deep things easily. Our conversations aren't just based on small little things that bother us or make us happy. It stretches over a variety of topics"

 "Me to, other people just talk because talking is talking and it's something to pass the time" I chuckled and he smiled "And of course the fact that everything is about sex and no communication"

 "Can you blame people?" He asked me "It's the best feeling in this world"

 "May be, but you do it with the person you love and not everyone you see. There's a difference" I claimed "You use sex as a way to show the other person how much you love them. Not a quick patch up for a problem or misunderstanding or because it feels good"

 "That's true to. To be honest there are better things in life than sex. Like knowing there is someone who loves you, having kids and seeing their cheery faces and having a happy family which of course isn't easy to have and needs hard work." He replied and I was filled with glee as he said it

 "Om my gosh, those words are coming out of your mouth" I gasped "The person who likes to have it so often and everywhere that you barely have time to catch your breath"

 "Well like you said, it's a way of showing the other person how much you love them, that's only what I'm trying to show you...how much I love you. Plus you are really good at it" He admitted under his breath and my cheeks turned red with a small smile plastered on my face "Are you complaining?"

 "No" I said swift and he chuckled "You aren't so bad yourself, even if I don't have much experience in this category"

 "You have enough experience believe me" He widened his eyes and puckered up my lips so he would kiss me. It all was just to perfect, which made me wonder...am I dreaming?

 "Hey you two kissy-faces" I heard a mocking voice yell from my left and I looked to see who it was, my uncle was turned around in his chair looking at me with his joking eyes and distinctive smile. We would always joke around and get into playful arguments about things we didn't agree on. He was still young at heart and may I add...never married. I scowled at him as Gerard remained silent "Time to get your butts over here to eat"

 "We're coming" I informed him as my gran came walking out with a glass serving dish in her hand placing it on the table next to the salads. I jumped up and scurried over to the table with the food on it leaving Gerard to get up himself "Oe! I'm so eating this by myself!" I stated as I grabbed a plate and Gerard came and stood right next to me

 "What are you eating all by yourself?" He asked me as he leaned over my shoulder to see what was being served

 "This of course" I pointed to the dish my gran had put there just a few minutes ago "It's my favorite"

 "What is that" He asked frowning and I handed him a plate

 "That my dearest friend is...uhm...I have no idea what you call it in English, but in Afrikaans it's named 'aardapel gereg'" I smiled towards him sweetly and he looked at me dumbfounded "It's loads of potatoes chopped up into thin slices with cream poured over it then topped off with cheese then you pop it in the oven until it's ready. It's delicious and I only eat my grans... so you want to try it?" I smiled excitedly and he chuckled

 "Sure why not, if it gets you this hyped up it must be good" He said and I took a serving spoon and put some in for him as we did our rounds to all of the delights placed out on the table then sat down with the rest and started eating.

******

"I need to go cut my hair again" Danielle stated sitting at the island with Ray and Bob across from her

 "I like it that length" Ray said and Danielle took hold of her ends bringing it up to her eyes looking at it making her eyes cross over "That just looks scary"

 "I have split ends! I hate split ends. I need to go change my color as well. In any case I won't be cutting off a lot just a little bit, my bangs need a trim" She told them as Ray just nodded staring at her and Bob took a sip of his beverage "Wow if you two get anymore enthusiastic you might die!"

 "Who might die?" Jamie asked as she walked in with messy hair scratching her head yawning "I might die because I'm so tired" She opened the cupboard and got a mug then turned on the coffee maker "Why isn't this thing on?" she mumbled

 "Bob and Ray are just no help to a girl in need of hair assistance" Danielle pouted looking over to Jamie

 "What do you want to do this time?" She asked turning around lying against the counter crossing her arms, yawning waiting for the coffee

 "Same style, new color" She claimed fervent

 "Oh God here we go" Jamie said under her breath turning her head a little to the left "It's too early for me to be dealing with you and your new color hair. Skylar does this because she can handle your fussiness"

 Danielle gasped offended "I'm not that bad. I just don't want to look like a bird or anything"

 "Why would you even use an expression like that?" Ray frowned as Bob began to chuckle and Danielle slowly turned her head towards him scowling

 "Because I am a woman, and I can use any expression a want because I'm worth it" She gave him her proud face

 "You can't look like a bird even if you tried. Any hair color fits with you. What were you thinking of doing?" Bob asked starting to show a bit more keenness to her idea

 "I don't know, maybe something more toned-down for the wedding?" She shrugged

 "How a bout your natural hair color for the wedding?" Bob suggested leaning foreword

 "No it's...boring" She laughed and Jamie came walking to them blowing on her hot coffee sitting down next to Danielle

 "Blonde?" Bob recommended and Danielle gave him a fierce look "What?"

 "Do you even know me at all?" She asked him raising her left-brow "Blonde just won't do at all, I'm sorry" she shook her head "Jamie is the only one who is allowed to be blonde because she looks lovely blonde"

 "If I didn't it would be a problem because it's my natural hair color" She frowned tired holding her mug in both her hands

 "Okay then we stay off of blondes" Ray said "How do you feel about going brunette?"

 Danielle sat there thinking for a few seconds "That could work. I guess I'll just wait for Skylar because the three of you are hopeless!" She exclaimed getting up

 "Yet capable" Jamie added raising her mug in the air with a worn-out smile

 "Why are you so tired anyway?" Danielle asked her walking over to the fridge and opening it looking inside

 "Frank kept me up all night" She told them sipping her once warm liquid "I don't know if you heard us but he couldn't shut up"

 "Isn't he coming back today?" Ray wanted to know

 "He is. He just had a lot to say I guess" Jamie answered him then her eyes shot wide "Oh my God! He's coming back today" She jumped up from the island

 "Yes and what's your point?" Danielle looked weirdly at her with three eggs in her hands.

 "I have to make myself pretty! Shit, he's coming back today!" She yelled again then rushed out the kitchen leaving three clueless people behind

 "Well I guess she's awake" Bob claimed as Danielle rolled her eyes then turned around to start making breakfast

******

 It was almost time for me to resign to our bedroom and I was most please because the evening was ending smoothly and the next morning Gerard and I had to leave early for our plane anyway so there wouldn't be time to start a quarrel with me about anything and then I would finally be rid of this place again!

 Gerard and I sat at the table listening to the people talking and sometimes I had to translate because my family doesn't like English very much. That actually made me mad, not the fact that they don't like English but the fact that they didn't even bother to speak it for Gerard's sake...poor guy, he must feel like an outcast.

 I gave a yawn and Gerard noticed it. He pulled me closer to him and asked me if I wanted to go to bed, I nodded towards him and just when I was about to open my mouth to say goodnight, it started.

 "So Skylar, what's this I see of you in a magazine?" My mom's other brother asked me, making him my other uncle apparently

 "Yes, it appears that Gerard and I were put in there. Paparazzi can never leave people alone" I smiled

 "Don't you think that you could've told us you were dating someone?" He asked me frowning with his intimidating look

 "I guess I could've but-"

 "But you didn't care so we had to find out like this anyway. It's seriously selfish I think. We are your family after all" He claimed and all defenses were on, resistance was futile

 "Okay big deal, you found out that way" I scoffed

 "Dan is dit nog met hom ook" My uncle's wife whispered and that pushed me over the edge

 "Excuse me?" I asked her as Gerard sat there not sure of what's going on "Please tell me I heard you wrong because I would hate to get into a fight because you can't keep your opinion to yourself"

 "Can you blame her?" My uncle asked again" I mean look at him. Is that really who you want to spend the rest of your life with? Is that really the guy you expect to look after you? He's not a real man just a little boy stuck in the past"

 "Shit tell me you didn't just say that!" I yelled as my eyes became teary and I crunched my right fist jumping up from my seat "You have no idea what he has done for me. You have no idea how he takes care of me and he is more man than you can ever be!" I felt a grip over my right wrist and looked down

 "Skylar leave it" Gerard said calm and I tore my wrist from his grip and he sighed

 "I will not leave it; I will not let this go!" I replied severely then looked back at them "You don't know anything about me"

 "We know you better than you know yourself" A voice stated and my gaze turned sharply to my left seeing my stepdad sit there "You are just pretending to be someone you're not. We know because we were all here when you grew up"

 "God! How naïve can you be? That little girl died a long, long time ago" I pointed out

 "You moved hoping it will help, you ran away from everything. You always run away" My mom claimed

 "I didn't run away. I moved because I needed to get as far away from you as possible. You were smothering me! Devouring me in all your shit and lies, with how you want me to be and how you think I should be" I let it out. Years and years of feelings just slipped out and I really didn't care anymore

 "Jy is 'n Afrikaner maak nie saak waar jy gaan nie" My uncle told me and I closed my eyes and bit down on my teeth

 "Just because I was born into an Afrikaans family, does not make me one of you. Just because you like watching rugby and listening to Afrikaans music and having parties, drinking or whatever doesn't mean I do! I have never liked it." I stated "Stop thinking you know when you have no idea!"

 "You need someone who is the same as you, who is your blood" My mom commented from the corner and I shot a glance her way "We have someone for you if you would just give him a chance"

 "Oh my God! Are you seriously trying to set me up with some other guy when my boyfriend is sitting right next to me?" I asked chuckling shaking my head "Pathetic!"

 "Skylar hy is nie soos ons nie" My mom said again

 "Damn right he's not like you!" I replied "If he was I can assure you I won't be with him"

 "Hy is anders, hy soek ander dinge. Kom van ander families af" My uncle started but I have had enough

 "Stop talking in Afrikaans! I'm just going to repeat the stuff you say in English so he can hear it anyway. Stop trying to control me. Stop with everything because this is the fucking reason I left" I burst out at all of them. Gerard sat there petrified at what was happening "I am different. Music is what flows in my veins and I give a rat's ass about what you think. I'm not the teenager you can shunt around anymore. I make my own decisions and that's the end of it. Gerard is the man in my life and I love him. So go and take your opinions and suggestions and shove it right up your-"

 "Skylar I think that's enough" Gerard stood up and interrupted me. He put his hands on my shoulders and started leading me inside as I felt helpless. We reached our room and he opened the door switching on the light. I fell down on the bed as he shut the door

 "Lock it" I managed to say as he did what I had asked then came to sit with me on the cream duvet

 "I am so sorry" He whispered as I sat up looking at him whipping a lost tear from my cheek

 "You don't have to be sorry at all. It's them. They always think they know better" I told him and my head crashed into the hollow of his neck and he placed his arms around me pulling me in closer towards him

 "I'm sorry because you had to grow up with people like that and call them family. I'm sorry because they hurt you so much" He said in a low voice and I sniffed burrowing my hands together in his lap

 "You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. I just wish they accepted me, accepted you because you make me happy" I started crying again and clung to him

 "Skylar, I'm proud of you" His voice filled the room as I felt his fingers travel over my back. I lifted my head quickly and looked him straight in the eyes moving my hands up to his neck. He looked at me with worried eyes still with his arms hooked at my back

 "Make love to me" I whispered as he searched my eyes

 "Are you sure-" he started but I pressed my lips against his. He pulled away and looked at me again hesitantly

 "Please" I said breathless as he kissed me and I rushed my hand through his mane of hair falling to my left with him atop of me...

 

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Unconditional Faith:

 

Chapter 35:

 My eyes were wondering everywhere as we ran through the people ducking and pushing our way to get away from the small group of girls chasing us. I was so nervous just looking around rushing to get him back in a safe place, if there was such a thing. While I was scampering I saw the people stare at us and all you heard were the girls' screams and squeals behind us. I couldn't take the chance to look behind me because I knew it would make me edgy.

 I reached a corner and took it while almost slipping on the shiny surface. I saw a small opening ahead where I could shove Gerard and myself into. It was between two shops and it was being hidden by a big plant making it hard to notice. I prayed that they hadn't taken the corner yet and when we reached the little gap I swung Gerard around and shoved him in to the back and squeezed in tightly against him, holding the plants' leaves in front of our faces.

 Gerard was breathing heavy as I rested my head on his chest trying to be as unnoticeable as possible. We heard the shrill voices of the girls and they stopped about ten-feet-away from our hiding place. They were looking around confused talking to one another and came closer. I held my breath for a minute gripping the plant making sure it was fully in front of us.

 I felt Gerard shaking his head as I looked up at him and saw he was going to sneeze. I quickly grabbed his noise and he raised his left brow at me and I shrugged lightly. I couldn't allow him to sneeze, not now. If he did they would hear it and we had to run another half mile! I'm not in such good shape either. I let go of his cute button noise slowly to make sure he still didn't want to sneeze. I breathed a breath of relief looking back to the girls and saw they we moving away with disappointed faces.

 Disappointed faces always had a way of bumming me out. I hated to disappoint somebody but if the girls had just approached Gerard in a proper manner maybe this whole situation would be a lot different. Is it really that hard just to walk up to someone and ask for an autograph? Or do they prefer chasing the man and most probably end up without an autograph...typical.

 I heard something I didn't want to hear. I felt movement I didn't want to feel. I closed my eyes to prepare myself for running away again just when I thought we were in the clear and he did it, he sneezed twice and when I opened my eyes I saw the girl with light brown hair turn her head and she looked right at us, this was surely going to give me a heart attack!

 "Fuck!" I screeched out of frustration as I once again yanked Gerard's hand and started running as fast as I could. Plenty of shops and people were flashing past me and my eyes caught a shop. A shop I thanked God for putting there, I smiled big and ran inside.

 The shop was darkish and there were things hanging from the ceiling. It was a costume shop and it had this gloomy effect to it which aroused Gerard a lot, I could tell by the look he had on his face. I turned my head to see if I could see the girls and I saw them in front of a cell phone store.

 I grinned to myself feeling proud of the way I out ran the little teenies. If I hadn't seen this shop we would most likely still be running and they would still be after us.

 "Thank God" I exclaimed once I turned around and Gerard looked at me with a smirk

 "That was...interesting" He nodded his head "Now you know what fans in South Africa do when they see a famous person" I chuckled and moved more into the shop and started looking around "I like this costume shop. It almost reminds me of my room at my moms"

 I nodded my head with a smile at him while he was staring at a vampire cloak; I wasn't really surprised by that.  I started gazing at the haunting masks they had hanging from the wall. I approached the scary Halloween masks of monsters and poignant faces, going into a state of mind seeing the objects covering quite an extent of the dark painted wall.

 Masks have always scared me. They have always given me this uneasy 'back away' feeling. I didn't know why but it was the thing I was most scared of and I still am. I started shivering getting chills down my spine as I browsed through them studying the detail of every scar, every scale and every blood stained façade.

 'These things are weird. To think some people wear a face of a killer or a demon. This shit creeps me out totally!' yet I couldn't stop starring. My eyes ran over them all as I was thinking and I got startled by Gerard who snaked his arms around my waist and place his head on my shoulder.

 "Why are you shaking?" He asked me with a low voice starting to sway me from side-to-side

 "These things hanging on the wall, they freak me out" I told him and placed my hand on his arm stroking it

 "But you've been staring at them for a while now. Why don't you just look away then?" he wanted to know

 "I can't seem to turn around. It's like my feet are nailed to the ground and I can't break my focus with them. It's like they're challenging me, laughing at me. Just a bunch of taunting smirks behind a glass" I started to gibber and he turned me around with a bit of a struggle

 "It really feels like your feet are nailed to the floor" He frowned and looked down to my black and white checkered Vans "Luckily those pretty little feet aren't, and now I'm taking you away from the masks"  he took my hand and pulled me to the front counter again. I sighed looking out of the big glass window and saw the girls searching high and low, I shook my head and bit my bottom lip as I started thinking of a way to get out of here. I stepped over to Gerard who were admiring the wigs they had and I got an idea.

 ******

 "No" Danielle said low as she was gazing at the big movie screen. She had pulled her legs up to her chest and she wrapped her arms around them watching every move they made on the screen with wide eyes "Dude don't do that!" she said out loud again talking to the man in the movie and a few seconds later she screamed burying her head in her hands.

 "Danielle" Bob whispered over to her and she held up her hand to indicate he must wait. He leaned over to his left and kissed her gently in the neck and she looked harsh at him

 "Bob I'm trying to concentrate you know" She informed him and turned her attention back to the girl running for her life. Bob sat back giving a sigh folding his hands in one another "What?" She asked him when she heard the sigh

 "Nothing, I just thought you wanted to make-out" He alleged and she frowned looking at the screen and then back to him

 "We can make-out at home to, now pass me the popcorn please" She smiled innocently and he reached down for the popcorn next to his feet and gave it to her. She yanked it from his hands and took a hand full stuffing her face being intrigued.

 After another thirty-minutes of sitting in the back row listening to the commentary by Danielle and the loads of shushing they got from the people around them the movie had finally ended. They walked out the cinema doors then out of the entrance being greeted by the city lights.

 "Did you see that" Danielle asked amazed and somewhat disgusted

 "I did"

 "That girl was totally stupid just walking right into the bloody trap!" She stated and took hold of Bob's hand as they strolled down the sidewalk to get some coffee

 "I know, you said that during the scene when she was walking into it" Bob chuckled as she scowled at him and they reached the little coffee destination they were heading for. When they got inside they searched for a table and saw to familiar faces.

 "Why so nice of you to join us" Jamie exclaimed once they had approached the table and sat down "What's brings you to out humble little coffee spot?"

 "Winter" Danielle stated "I'm just dying for something that can make me warm. Bob doesn't want to so now I have to take care of it myself"

 "Excuse me?" Bob asked her lifting his eyebrows "You were the one who didn't want to make-out in there not me. I did try and you were concentrating remember"

 "Oh c'mon! We had sex just before leaving" Danielle reminded him as Jamie and Meredith sat there looking at them "I didn't think we would need to kiss the crap out of each other again"

 "That was just a little too much info for me" Meredith declared scrunching her nose looking at Jamie

 "For me to, plus they are making me jealous because I miss Frank" Jamie pouted

 "He's coming back tomorrow so relax. Remind me to tell him that he shouldn't leave ever again because you are whinny!" Meredith told her shaking her head

 "Bob get over it" Danielle demanded turning back to her friends with a smile "So what were you two up to today?"

 "Went to the mall, bought stuff that looked pretty, talked to Frank-"

 "And ranted on about Frank" Meredith interrupted her

 "At least I don't call him snookie bear, I mean that's just...poor guy" Jamie mocked her and Danielle chuckled

 "You call Robert snookie bear?" she asked and Meredith nodded "At least you love him and he loves you so you can call each other just what you want"

 "Thank you, and that's why I now like Danielle more than you" Meredith told Jamie sticking out her tongue

 Jamie rolled her eyes and sat back "What were you two darlings up to all day?"

 "I woke up after only two-hours of sleep. Then went to write my exam, waited for my results and found out I made it and you are now looking at the new junior assistant" Danielle smile in accomplishment "Anyway after that I went home jumped on Bob in more ways than one and just walked out of the cinema"

 "Congrats on your exam!" Jamie congratulated her leaning over the table to hug her.

 "Does anyone want to drink anything?" Bob asked when he stood up

 "Please, I want a café Latte" Meredith said

 "I want a...erm...why do they have so many yummy drinks?" Jamie asked scratching her head "Hot chocolate with cream please"

 "Make that two" Danielle told him and he nodded once firmly and walked away

 "What movie did you go see?" Meredith asked her

 "Hmm I can't remember the name fully now, but it was something about 'dead snow' or whatever. It was the most gruesome movie I have ever seen" Danielle explained pulling her face thinking of all the blood and guts she had seen.

 "What's it about?" Jamie wanted to know leaning foreword, holding up her head with her right hand

 "Its bout these group of people who go on a trip and they get killed by Nazi-zombies. They were so stupid just walking into each trap. At the end none survived anyway so that gave me some satisfaction" She smiled

 "I have no idea why you like sadism so much. You have an evil mind" Meredith claimed

 "Hey, I just don't like your typical American movie okay. Plus happy endings suck!" Danielle said proudly. Jamie was busy smiling looking at her cell phone screen and Meredith nudged her arm and she looked up

 "What?" She asked

 "Are you on your phone again?" Meredith asked rhetorical

 "What's it to you?" Jamie replied sarcastically and Meredith snatched the phone out of her hands and placed it in her jacket pocket

 "You have been on it all day. You can have it back when we get home, take three deep breaths and enjoy your time of relaxation because when Frank comes back I know none of us are seeing you for at least two days" Meredith beamed

 "Why two?" Danielle asked confused

 "Because the two of them will have lots of catching up to do" Meredith wiggled her brows and Jamie rolled her eyes. Bob came back trying to balance the drinks on a tray and when he reached the table he gave them each their drinks.

 "Isn't he the sexiest waiter you have ever seen" Danielle asked her friends winking at Bob who blushed and sat down again.

 

******

 "Have I ever told you I love the way your brain works?" Gerard asked me and I chuckled softly correcting his wig

 "You may have mentioned it" I said and stepped back examining him with a grin "Damn, you look absolutely weird"

 "Aw, I thought you were going to something else by that grin on your face. I guess looking weird is a good thing right now" Gerard told me "By the way this wig itches" he started scratching and I hit his hand

 "Don't scratch, I don't care how much it itches you have to bare it until we are in the car. Having an itch is better than having a broken arm or leg. Just to give my opinion, please never dye your hair blonde...ever"

 "Why would I have a broken arm or leg? And I have had my hair blonde before, in the beginning of The Black Parade" He informed me

 "Because when those girls attack you who knows what would be broken. I know, I was really mad at you for that even though I didn't know you yet but your hair wasn't long and blonde, it was short and blonde" I turned to the counter and gripped the thick black rimmed glasses  in my hands and placed it on Gerard's face "You look like Owen Wilson now"

 "Damn, you are good"

 I laughed at him after I put on my new sunglasses and paid the girl at the front counter. I hooked my arm in Gerard's arm and started walking in the open again. Nobody even looked at us. I was happy about that. We walked passed so many restaurants smelling the food they were making and my stomach started talking to me.

 "Man I am really hungry now" I said looking over to Gerard

 "What do you want?" He asked me stopping as I looked around thinking about what I haven't eaten in a long time "There's a wrap place" He pointed to his right because he knows I love wraps, but I shook my head

 My eyes caught a tiny restaurant and I smiled widely. I dragged Gerard over to it and he looked skeptical towards me "Chinese?"

 "Yes Chinese" I simply said humming going through the menu

 "I didn't know you like it. Never heard you say you eat it"

 "You never asked" I claimed and smiled at him "I want...three things. Sweet and sour chicken, chicken chou mein or sushi" I couldn't decide. How I have missed this Chinese shop, they make the best food there is and back home I haven't found another Chinese place like this...I'm about to stuff my face!

 "I'll take sushi then you can share with me, then you take chicken chou mein whatever that may be" He frowned and I laughed. He sat down at a table and I ordered our meal. I got some drinks from the huge fridge they had and paid then went to sit down across from him awaiting our delicious food.

 

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So idk if i like this chapter that much :/ sorry to dissapoint. I feel i could've done more with everything, i was to lazy xD

Unconditional Faith:

 

Chapter 34:

 After that amazingly pleasant breakfast Gerard and I said our goodbyes and drove out of the gates onto the road on our way to my gran living in Brakpan. This would be my moms side of the family and please don't think it gets anymore easier.

 Everything was exactly the same. Nothing had change except for the kids getting bigger and the people aging. Other than that the rest stayed the same. They still thought they could tell me what to do, still thought I cared about what they had to say and what they wanted me to do. Through it all I guess I solved the little war I had inside myself or choosing my next career, music was in me and it is what I want to do.

 I laid back in the car with the sun shining on me. I put my hand on my forehead to shade my eyes. We drove past so many familiar surroundings that gave me a gut feeling that I just should've send them a card with a few photos rather than flying here myself.

 "Do you know that both your families live like whole two-hours apart?" Gerard noticed as we drove past the airport again just in the opposite direction

 "Yes I know that. If they lived closer to one another it would be world-war all over again, and honey let me say I do not want that" I chuckled and he looked over at me

 "Why don't you wear your sunglasses?" He asked me frowning

 "I didn't bring them. I forgot it gets really warm here" I told him and he shook his head

 "I see what you meant by your family" Gerard spoke in the void and I turned my head sharply at him "They do seem like they want to control you. That what they say is best for you"

 "I know. That's why I never wanted to bring Danielle here. I never wanted her to meet them because if they had something to say I would've lost my mind completely. But thanks for sticking up for me, I really appreciate it" I smiled lovingly towards him

 "Even if the visit wasn't so pleasant, you have finally made it clear that you want to go into the music industry" Gerard stated "It's where you belong"

 "Yes I have seemed to break through that brick wall. Now the other dilemma begins: How and where do I start?"

 "I will do everything in my power to help you" Gerard claimed while he switched lanes

 "You're just too good to be true" I smiled broadly then leaned over to my right and kissed him on the cheek

"And I can't take my eyes off of you" He smiled giddily as I just chuckled to myself and sat back again. I lifted my right arm and pressed the on button of the radio to hear what music they were playing seeing as I knew the way to my gran we didn't need the GPS anymore.

 Once I switched it on the most beautiful voice came out of the speakers of the most beautiful person ever! I squealed and started singing along turning up the volume"

 

"If I'm so wrong, then how can you listen all night long?

Now will it matter now after I'm gone because you never learned a God damn thing

You're just a sad song, with nothing to say about a life long wait for a hospital stay

Well if you think that I'm wrong, this never meant nothing to you

 

So go, go away

Just run, run away

But where did you run to, where did you hide

Go find another way

Price to pay...oh" I sang with loads of feeling using my arms and all my senses I had to show Gerard how intense I could be. He glanced over at me a few times with a smile just being amused by my random singing moves. When the song hit the chorus again he sang with me and I smiled broadly and both of us were putting on a show singing to each other

 "You're just a sad song, with nothing to say about a life long wait for a hospital stay

Well if you think that I'm wrong, this never meant nothing to you" we stopped at a traffic light and he turned towards me as we sung the end together and the people in the other cars most probably thought we were really weird but I didn't care at all. To me singing with him was awestruck! It gave me this feeling, like I was in a fairytale singing something meaningful and it struck me - I knew what I wanted to do and it involved everything Gerard had made me feel these last months. It was going to take a lot of soul searching to pull this off.

 "Wow" I gasped after we just sat and stared at one another "That was really intense for listening radio in the car" I smiled and brushed my left hand through my hair

 "You are absolutely right" he blinked rapidly twice then focused in front of him again "You know what; I think I just experienced something else with you. Something entirely new" He frowned

 "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked slowly not knowing what he was going to say because of hid frown

 "Good" He answered me then nodded his head "Better than good really. It's just that you inspire me Skylar"

 I smiled because I didn't know what to say. I kept quiet for a minute then opened my mouth to speak but words failed me. I gazed in front of me thinking and when we stopped at another traffic light I turned back to Gerard then grabbed him and kissed him. The other cars were blowing their horns to us so we could start moving again but we just ignored them.

 "What was that for?" he asked surprised once we parted

 "Just for being you" I smiled at him and we continued driving and both of us had cheesy grins upon our faces

 

******

 Bob was sitting in the lounge waiting for Danielle to return home from her exam she had today. She chased Bob away after an hour so she could continue her studying and she studied all through the night.

 He switched through the channels with not much interest looking like he was about to fall asleep any second and that's when Danielle came bursting through the front door squealing throwing her things down and running into the lounge, jumping on Bob.

 "I'm in I'm in!" She bounced around like a hyper kid shaking Bob back and forth holding onto his shirt

 "Calm down" Bob said half paralyzed and took hold of her wrists "Please speak properly"

 "I passed my test! I got in and I'm his assistant" She yelled towards him

 "Jeez woman I sitting right here" He told her and she jumped down from him and landed next to him on the couch "I'm very happy for you. Studying all night and not sleeping really pays off"

 "Dude I know. I got full marks and that test was super easy for me. I filled in everything smiling all the way. I'm quite pleased with myself" She smiled proudly and Bob kissed her

 "Then let's celebrate" He suggested

 "Sure. Now the other thing is what are we going to do?" She wondered as they sat there together trying to figure out what they could do. "If we do something I just want it to be the two of us because you and I haven't been out alone for quite some time"

 "I get what you're saying" He nodded "How a bout we go to the movies?"

 "Yes!" Her face brightened up "Then we can sit right at the back in the little corner and make out through the whole movie"

 "But we can do that here to" He said and got a scowl from Danielle "What?"

 "You don't get it" She simply sighed and looked disappointed shaking her head slowly "I want it to be like the first time we met you know? In the beginning of a relationship is always so flattering and fun. You would stay up all night thinking about the person, and praying that they will text you. You'd talk for hours and just show the whole outer universe how much you love one another. I'm not saying we're not like that any more, it's just that in the beginning we just do so much more effort"

 "Girls are weird" Bob stated and Danielle looked shocked towards him dropping her jaw slightly

 "Bob, here I am telling you how I feel and that's the reply I get?" She asked him making a sad, pouty face

 "No-no don't even do that" He pointed with his index finger and she stopped "If you want to go to the movies and make out, then we can go and do that. I understand what you mean and now that I think about it, you are right. The beginning is always more interesting and embarrassing as well"

 "Oh my God I know" Danielle laughed as she started thinking back on the first two-weeks she dated Bob "The things I did were just...blah...especially when I snorted so loudly in the restaurant that one time. I have no idea why I did it though; guess it was just nerves maybe"

 "Doesn't really matter because I love you just the way you are, and the best thing of all is that we are getting married and I don't care if its now or fifty years later I will always adore you and your snorting loudly in public places" He told her and she giggled softly wondering how it would sound snorting fifty years later

 "That's sweet" She smiled then added "I can't imagine us that old. Everything would be wrinkled up"

 "I think old people are cute"

 "Some are, but others are scary. It's like they loose passion in everything, sex is taken away, health is taken away, and youth is taken away, jobs and soon their life" Danielle said and shivered "I just scared myself

 Bob gave her a sceptical look and raised a brow before saying "Does that mean..." He paused and looked down towards his crotch

 "Yup you guessed it baby. All wrinkled" She showed him scrunching her face up and using her hands as his eyes grew wide

 "Of course you'd get stuck on that" she exclaimed "It's going to get old to you know. Deal with it" She stated

 "Fuck. Then we better have loads of sex now while we can" He said then grabbed her hand and pulled her towards her room and locked the door.

 

 ******

 Gerard and I stopped at the mall about twenty-minutes away from my grans house. I told him that I didn't really want to be there to early so we took a little detour through East Rand Mall. The mall was really big and was always packed with stampedes of people, if you didn't watch where you were going - they'd walk you right out of your shoes.

 I took hold of Gerard's hand as we were strolling along the way browsing at the shops they had. Any shop you wanted you could find here. My favourite one was 'Boo!' and it was the place I would usually buy my clothes from. As we were walking my eyes caught a stripped sweater and I gasped pulling Gerard into the shop walking to the rack.

 "Don't you think you have enough clothes?" He asked me as I turned my head slowly looking at him with my right brow raised "Okay sorry I'll shut up"

 "I don't re-call you complaining when I buy new underwear or lingerie mister" I said going through the sweaters looking for my size

 "That doesn't count at all. It's completely different" He put his hands in his pockets and let his eyes wonder

 "Bullshit" I coughed and saw him turn his head back to me as I held a smile "Got it!"

 "Got what?"

 "My size" I claimed proudly handing him my purse then I held the dark bleu and light grey sweater against me looking up at Gerard to see what he's opinion was but he just continued chewing and popping his gum "Well?"

 "Huh...oh" He snapped back from where ever he was examined me "I like it"

 "You like it? That's all you have to say?" I shook my head, grabbed my purse and walked away from him as I heard him sighing

 "Look I'm not good at this whole shopping-what's-your-opinion-does-this-make-my-butt-look-big ordeal" He admitted as he caught up with me and I stopped behind a teenage girl with light brown hair and her two friends in the queue

 "Damn, here I thought I was walking around with a true diva!" I said sarcastically and he scowled at e as I chuckled "I know your not. But a bit of enthusiasm never killed someone right?"

 "No" He dragged out the word and kicked with his right foot looking down

 "See. After all, you have to be seen with me in public and I surly do not want to give the Gerard Way a bad name" He looked up stepping closer and kissed me gently on the lips

 "You can't give me a bad name" He said low "Just to add a bit more enthusiasm...That sweater will look really sexy on you Sky"

 "You called me Sky" I giggled as we moved foreword in the queue

 When I got in front and made my way to the till I saw the one girl frowning looking at Gerard who was waiting for me. While I was paying I kept my eyes on him because I didn't want them to jump him or anything. She walked to over to her friend and pointed at him and my heart started racing, all of a sudden my eyes caught every girl in the store pointing and moving towards him.

 'Aw shit. Why now? Why me? I have to get him out of here. Just look at him, he's clueless of what's going on around him. Idiot. C'mon lady hurry up!'

 I grabbed my little bag from the counter after she had thrown my sweater in it and I hurried my way to Gerard and I feared that I was going to be too late. As I approached him the girls came from all angles and I started running

 "Gerard Way!" I heard someone yell as I grabbed his hand and hauled him by his feet running out the door pulling poor dumbfounded Gerard behind me as the girls were chasing us through the mall...

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 Chapter 33:

 "So it's actually true? Bob isn't going solo on his project no more?" Frank asked astonished

 "If that's your way of asking if they really are engaged then yes Frank he isn't going solo on his project anymore" Jamie shook her head while talking to him over the phone

 "This should like really be documented. Maybe I'll write a journal about this so everyone knows" He said all excited

 "Don't go overboard. I don't know if they want to tell everyone yet, rather ask them first before you make any announcements over the World Wide Web" Jamie asked him nicely killing is fun

 "Oh fine I'll keep it to myself and wait like a normal human being" He sighed "But I want to be the one making the announcement when they say it's okay."

 "Sure I don't think they would mind that. What are you up to?"  She asked as she walked out of the shop with Meredith

 "I'm sitting in the kitchen eating all of my mother's food" He giggled evilly and opened something with a wrapper around it "Feels good being here but I miss you a lot. Why is it so noisy around you?"

 "I'm walking around the mall with Meredith buying stuff we need" she told him

 "Why don't I believe you when you say they are things you need?" He asked

 "Okay so we bought a few things that aren't necessarily needed but they were teasing me when I walked past the windows" Jamie claimed and he laughed at her

 "That's a new one. As long as you have the money and you got me something I am simply fine with you buying taunting stuff" He stood up and walked to the living room

 "You're coming back tomorrow and I can't wait! I have to go now because Meredith is trying to grab my phone. I love you and say hi to your parents for me" Jamie saw the expression on Meredith's face

 "I love you too and see you soon" Frank said "Hey mom guess what!" She heard him yell just before he hung up the phone.

 "Thank God, you've been texting one another the whole morning, don't you get enough of each other?" Meredith asked as they got a table at the nearest Starbucks

 "Nope we just don't get enough" Jamie smiled sweetly over at Meredith and her phone made a little sound "Somebody loves me"

 "Let me guess, it's Frank" Meredith said and Jamie nodded then she just rolled her eyes "The phrase gag comes to mind"

 "Why are you such a sour puss about it?" Jamie asked her "Is everything okay with you and Robert?"

 "Of course it's all okay. Kinda perfect actually" She frowned and Jamie laughed at her then threw her phone back in her purse "But we know we love each other and we give one another space. I mean I'm seeing him later, so I don't need to text him the whole day"

 "I get that. But Frank isn't here and I'm not seeing him later. Sure we text each other the whole time but I really can't get enough. Just for you I will ignore my phone the rest of the time I'm with you, deal?" Jamie suggested extending her hand to Meredith in order to seal the deal

 "Deal" she agreed then shook her hand "Now what do I feel like?" she held up the menu and started examining it when her phone rang and she reached for it looking at the caller ID then got a huge smile upon her face "Hello snookie bear" she greeted and Jamie frowned looking at her.

 "Oh my God, you call him snookie bear and you're hating on me bout texting to Frank?" Jamie blurted out "The phrase gag comes to mind"

 "Oh shut up. So I have a lil'pet name for him" Meredith shrugged

 "Irony!" Jamie squealed then took her menu in her two hands and feel back in her seat examining the delicious beverages.

 ******

  "Good morning" Lacy greeted cheerfully when she entered the kitchen "What are you making?" She asked as she smelled the air and walked over to the fridge

 "Pancakes" Becka answered her from the stove continuing making breakfast "I remembered its Skylar's favourite"

 "Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes, pancakes" Maggie repeated rapidly smiling swinging her head from side-to-side

 "You also love them don't you?" Becka asked smiling at her "Here you can have one before the others, just don't tell them" she winked and handed Maggie one

 "Where is Nathan?" Lacy asked while pouring the apple juice into a crystal clear glass "The house has been awfully quiet this morning"

 "Yes, it feels so abnormal to be honest. I'm used to having noise all the time either from kids playing to toys making sounds" Becka laughed briefly then flipped another pancake into the plate along with the rest "Nathan went out with his dad and Skylar's father to the shop. They said they wanted to get some snacks. I'm not sure why because this whole house is full of snacks"

 "I wondered where they were as well" Lacy said and sat down next to Maggie who was colouring her pictures in her book "Is Skylar still asleep?"

 "I think so. I haven't heard anything from them yet" Becka answered and took the plate full of pancakes and placed it on the table then wiped her hands on a drying cloth "I think they make a lovely couple. It's nice seeing her in love for once."

 "I guess. He isn't my type really, he looks sloppy though" Lacy claimed and took a sip of her apple juice

 "It doesn't matter whose type he is just as long as she is in love with him. He doesn't look sloppy, he looks like someone who cares a lot bout Skylar and that's all that matters" She walked over to the cupboard and got syrup along with honey

 "Hello" I greeted carefully when I poked my head in the kitchen and saw Becka, Maggie and Lacy "Can I help with anything?"

 "No everything is done. You can just get a glass for you with whatever you feel like drinking." Becka told me and I did exactly that. I walked over to the counter and raised my arms to open the cupboard and removed a glass from the top shelf

 "Wow but its really hot outside, lovely day for a morning walk" I heard a voice and turned around seeing my gran standing in the backdoor "The Queen has awakened I see" She smiled towards me and I rolled my eyes as soon as my back was turned and I opened the fridge

 "Yes I'm awake" I said awkwardly reaching for the grape juice at the back. I walked back to the counter and filled up my glass as Gerard graced us with his presence by walking in from the hallway

 "Morning" He greeted politely and shuffled his way next to

 "Want some coffee?" I asked him biting my bottom lip and he looked at me

 "That would be lovely" He smiled and kissed me quick as I turned around and returned to the cupboard and removed a mug this time from the bottom shelf and started making him some coffee

 "How'd you two sleep?" My gran asked us once she took a seat at the table. I turned around while waiting for the kettle to boil. Becka has gone to her room to get something and Lacy was helping Maggie gather all her colouring things to clear the table. I glanced over to Gerard and smirked as he looked at me then back to my gran

 "Like a baby thank you very much" He answered her and she nodded

 "I'm glad to hear that, usually Skylar would play soccer in her sleep causing you to wake up with bruises" My gran told him and I added milk to the black water filling the mug to the top

 "Well I do wake up with bruises some mornings" Gerard grinned as I handed him his hot cup of coffee and widened my eyes as to what he was saying

 "Some things just won't change then" My dad said holding Nathan's hand. My jaw dropped down when I saw how big he got. The small little one-year-old was now six and he was simply cuter than ever!

 "Holly shit!" I exclaimed and Maggie started to giggle "Is that Nathan?"

 "He's gotten big hasn't he?" Becka saw my expression and I just nodded at her "You two look a lot alike. You both have the dark curly hair, tanned skin and dark eyes. I see you've got your hair curly today"

 "You can thank Gerard for that" I chuckled "First time in years I'm wearing it like this"

 "You look gorgeous no matter how your hair looks" Gerard complimented me as I smiled at him then continued my staring at my cousin

 "Damn but he's going to be handsome" I smiled broadly seeing my little cousin for the first time in five years.

 "Just like your kids will be" My aunt stated walking in "You and Gerard better start making babies because I want a big family" Gerard choked and spit half of his coffee back inside the mug as I patted his back to prevent him from dying

 "Those poor kids" Lacy mumbled and I scowled at her

 "I think Skylar should wait another couple of years before she becomes pregnant" My dad gave his opinion with a worried look on his face

 "Oh please like the two of them haven't been experimenting" Lacy interrupted "How long have you been dating?" Gerard and I weren't sure what to answer so we paused for a brief second

 "About four months" Gerard answered and Lacy laughed

 "Have you ever slept over at Skylar?" she wanted to know

 "Yes he has. I have slept over at his parents' house and we have gone on vacation together as well. How did this go from baby talk to my personal sex life?" I asked her leaning back on the counter raising my right eyebrow at her

 "He still lives with his parents?" She chuckled softly looking down "I can tell you now he's not worth it. They have had sex before it's obvious to see"

 "He doesn't live with his parents he's just visiting them, and to answer that question that's prickling all of our minds...yes we have had sex. More than once and we did it in last night to, and guess what he's really good as well. He knows how to use what God gave him" I grinned and it got quiet. I saw Gerard just drinking his coffee looking down into the mug. My uncle walked in not caring what we were talking about and looked at us

 "So are we eating or what?" He asked walking over to the table pulling out a chair sitting down. After a few seconds everyone followed his lead. We sat down and started filling our plates with Becka's delicious pancakes.

 "So what are you going to do as a career now?" My uncle asked me after chit-chatting about other stupid things going on in the world

 "I'm not sure yet. Like I've told you being in a band was my life time goal. It was my dream and now that it's over I'm not quite sure what I want to embark on next" I answered pouring syrup on my pancakes.

 "This is why I told you to have a backup plan. It's why I insisted on sending you to a university to get a degree. How are you going to make a living, you have to survive" My uncle started talking all corporate again. I hated it when he did it, I know he means well and he wants me to earn good money but it's my life, right?

 

"I do make a living. I can take care of myself with the money I make and I have tons to spend after paying all my bills" I told him and he took a bite of his food

 "Why don't you write again?" My gran asked me "You used to write stories all the time"

 "I want to make music" I said low, I think I just answered my own dilemma.

 "You've tried that and it didn't work" My aunt pointed out. Like I didn't know that already, I could get super irritated at times like these. They don't know me and they really should stop pretending they do because I'm not the little girl they knew ten years ago.

 "Music isn't a career, it's a hobby" My uncle started and with his words my blood pressure started rising. I crunched my hand into a fist on the table and I'm guessing Gerard saw this because he took my hand in his pressing it hard "I'll pay for your studies, why don't you go back to studying then you at least have something behind your name"

 'I do have something behind my name, a fucked up family who thinks they know better. I have a long line of screw ups behind my name, hypocrites, fakers and posers. Whole bunch of lies...Don't preach to me!'

 "I know you are all just trying to help me. But I don't need it. Music is who and what I am and I know that none of you have approved of that since I brought it up. You wanted me to become a model, a business woman, an actress, an architect and fashion designer. That's not who I am and it's not who I want to be" I started explaining "Money isn't a big deal for me. I could be broke but I don't care just as long as I am doing what I want to do, that's to make music. To do what I dream of is enough happiness I need to get through my life. I am successful by living what's in my heart, not by making loads of money"

 "We're just trying to help Skylar" My dad said to me

 "I told you she's a spoiled brat" Lacy claimed under her breath and I took three deep breaths looking down into the table

 "Okay look, I know I don't know you guys. I don't know what or how you feel but Skylar knows you're trying to help her. She appreciates what you're trying to do but why can't you respect her wishes?" I heard Gerard's voice defending me "Skylar is a bright, caring, funny, talented and beautiful young woman and she has a lot going for her. She decided she wants to make a life in the music industry, so let her. If you are good at what you do, you can earn loads of money even as hobby" I smiled at his last sentence but as he spoke I got this feeling inside of me. I'm not sure what it was but a voice in my head told me he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with...

 My uncle gave Gerard a look then sat back and smiled "I like this guy. Son you have loads of back bone to come in my house and say those things to me. I respect that. It shows you will take good care of her"

 "Thank you, I will take good care of her because she means the world to me. She is the most important thing in my life" Gerard told them and looked at me

 "That's nice" Becka smiled "I'm truly happy you found such a good man"

 "Yes me too" I replied with three feeble words

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Unconditional Faith:

 

Chapter 32:

 After that brutal dinner I took Gerard by his right hand and hauled him outside to the back of the house to the most beautiful view you could imagine. We strolled along the side of the pool then sat down on a patch of grass looking out on the city below with all the lights and the curves of the mountains in the background and to add to everything the full moon lighting up the pitch black sky.

 I sat close to him then rested my head on his left shoulder and sighed "This is the place I would come to for a break in my school vacations" I told him and he looked to me as I lifted my head

 "I can understand why, its so peaceful here. Just the sound of nature as your remedy listening to the night life awaken" He said and sometimes he said the most amazing things, like everything he says turns in to poetry

 "I know, at times it was scary but I guess fear is what I wanted to feel. Just that whole aura of helplessness and self-pity, I must say it is what helped me write songs and poetry. Come up with ideas and doubt myself" I started rambling as he reached for his left pocket and got something out "Moving away changed me and I hated the fact that I did. That I allowed it to change who I was"

 "You shouldn't look at it that way..." He started then put a cigarette in his mouth and lit the little cancer stick then puffed it blowing the smoke out into the fresh-open-air "If you hadn't moved, you wouldn't have became depressed. Don't get me wrong, being depressed isn't good and no one deserves it...but you wouldn't be who you are now writing awe struck songs and poetry, living like you do. You wouldn't have met Danielle and you would be in another place than here with me, right now"    

 "You always have a way to make me feel better. See the bright side of a certain situation, see the beauty in a black poverty painting" I claimed and he smiled towards me and in hailed some more smoke blowing it out slowly. I went to lie down on my back staring up in the sky seeing little sparkling stars and a little smile spread across my face

 "...and that smile" He asked me

 "I just remembered that when I was a teenager I would look up at the stars and pray. Sometimes wonder why I felt the way I did, asking them if I would live my dream and end up with the guy of my dreams. Begging them to take me to Danielle and Jamie, fly me to an imaginary place where anything was possible" I explained and he finished smoking then turned on his left-side putting his arm up holding up his head as he looked down at me

 "I can say one thing. Those stars heard my prayer, read my mind and flew me to you, the girl of my dreams which I couldn't even have pictured more beautiful or perfect" He stared into my eyes making me blush and he leaned in to kiss me. As our lips touched I felt my stomach turning and going crazy like it always did when he would just look at me, touch me. Just feel him near me.

 "Man you leave me breathless" I whispered when he parted and chuckled "Thank you for being in my life"

 "My pleasure" He said then looked towards the pool "Impressive waterworks going on here"

 "Yeah, I know the pool is huge" I nodded examining my nail buds. Gerard stood up and started taking off his shoes, when I noticed I looked confused at him

 "We're going swimming" I chuckled loudly and said he made amazing jokes, but he wasn't joking "Are you going to undress or should I do it for you?"

 I raised a brow at him sitting up watching him take of his pants followed by his shirt "I'm not swimming, then I have to do my hair again and it's all curly and just all over the place" Nothing I was saying is going to help me. I knew that look he had. He took a step closer to me with a grin on his face as I jumped up and started running but I was to slow. He caught me from behind and locked his arms over my chest tightly "Gerard please don't"

 "Sorry I can't hear you" He said as he tried getting me to it. I fought with all my might but nothing worked. Before I knew it we were standing right on the ledge with me in front of him "You ready?" He asked me

 "No!" I claimed as I shut my eyes tightly

 "Tally-ho" He shouted and jumped from the ledge as we lifted into the air for two seconds and he let go of me. I felt the water rush over my body when we crash landed in the pool. I came up and wiped my hands over my face to get rid of the water in my eyes. Once I opened them I couldn't see Gerard anywhere. I started looking around in the pool when all of a sudden I felt something running up my leg. I screamed as I turned around sharply and saw him laughing

 "Idiot" I slapped him and he still chuckled "Don't do that, I thought it was a snake there are loads here you know"

 "I know, there's a huge one in the pool as well" He wiggled his brows and I just scowled at him

 "Ego" I joked "It's not fair. You're in your boxers and I'm still fully clothed!" 

 "Well let me help you with that" He suggested then I bent my knees to lower myself until the water was up to my chin and looked at him moving backwards slowly as he approached me. My back hit the wall of the swimming pool causing me to stop and he put his hands at the hem of my shirt removing it with a bit of difficulty. "Maybe we should've done this before we jumped in"

 "I know, but don't you think this makes it a bit more exciting?" I asked him lifting my right brow smirking. He came closer to me until I felt his chest pressing against mine

 "I think you're right" He whispered in my ear then kissed me in the neck that caused me to shiver from my head to my little toe

 "Hmm you make me melt when you do that. I'm like a puppet on a string, just putty in your hands" I said as I closed my eyes

 "Why do you think I'm doing this?" He asked me rhetorical and it made me smile. His mouth met mine and he lifted me so my legs wrapped around his waist and hooked at the back while he continued kissing me passionately

 After a while I could feel the hormones rising and just before I completely forgot where we were I put a stop to it "Gerard, babe" I started while he still kissed me "We should stop"

 "Why"

 "Because"

 "This is one of our fantasies" He whispered and stopped kissing me

 "Yeah but not in my uncle's swimming pool" I claimed and he made a disgusted face

 "And with those eight words I got turned off" He nodded as we drifted around the pool

 "I'm sorry, I just don't want to risk anything here you know. The family" I rolled my eyes as he looked at me then pecked me on the lips

 "It's okay. I understand a weekend away in another country with no sex" He said and made a pouty face

 "That's not fair! I give you more than enough attention mister" I pointed my finger at him and we made our way to the shallow end then got out.

 "Brrr this breeze is kinda giving me goose bumps" he stated then bent down to gather his things he threw on the grass then we sneaked back inside to find the house was silent. We made a clean get-away to our room without being spotted.

 "I need to go take a shower, I hate this cold water feeling amongst my skin" I told him as he shut the door behind him

 "Great idea, we haven't done it there for a while, then you can feel me amongst your skin" He smiled widely as I just shook my head and threw my suitcase on the bed opening it

 "You didn't bring any like...sexy outfits did you?" Gerard asked me and I turned my head slowly to look at him seeing him biting his bottom lip and I shook my head

 "Just go start the shower would you?" I chuckled and continued digging in my suitcase

 "I'll take that as a no" He said silent and did what I asked him to. He opened the water and I heard it running as I could already feel the warm water falling all over me. I turned around to find a pair of eyes watching me standing only two-inches away and I couldn't help but kiss those lips. Gerard knew me to well...

 ******

 "Why is this so hard" Danielle shouted to herself while lying on her bed going through some papers she needed to study

 "Why are you shouting?" Bob asked once he popped his head in the door way and she let her head fall down on the bed crunching the papers beneath her "Don't you understand the work?"

 "I do, I know I do it's just that I can't seem to focus at all" She told him as he came closer then sat on the bed next to her "I don't know what to do" She pouted and Bob took hold of her shoulders then lifted her up and chuckled

 "Let me get that for you..." He said then removed the paper that was stuck to her forehead "There, just as pretty as ever"

 "Thank you" She smiled "I got this test tomorrow and it's really important because if I nail this test I can start in the studio!"

 "Start in the studio like how?" He asked confused

 "Bret is going to start showing me everything inside the studio. If all goes well I can assist him next week on the new album he's producing" She explained

 "You didn't tell me this. Who's Bret?" Bob frowned

 "That's why I'm telling you now, duh" Danielle chuckled "Bret is the producer handling our oral. He only took one out of each class to write this exam, I got chosen. The one who gets the highest marks on this test  is the one who he will assign to be his assistant"

 "I see. Then are you done with school?"

 "Yeah, he reckons that studying for a hands-on-job out of a book is stupid and that you need to be in the studio to experience the real thing" She smiled "I have to study!"

 "Why did he choose you?" He wanted to know

 "Apparently he has been observing us and I'm the one who shines out of my class" Danielle nodded her head slowly

 "Just as long as he keeps this 'hands-on-job' off of you" He smirked

 "Bob, are you jealous?" She asked surprised

 "No...I'm just saying. Consider it a warning if you may. You're mine and mine alone I'm not sharing" he told her and she started laughing

 "Consider it taken" She claimed and got up walking out of her room towards the kitchen "want something to drink?"

 "No thanks I'm fine" He said as he sat down on the couch and Danielle walked towards him "Where are Jamie and Meredith?" he noticed the house was clean and awfully quiet

 "They cleaned up then I sent them away because they were bugging me. They may have gone shopping or eating" She said and sighed

 "Two things they do the best" He claimed "Why don't you take a break or a nap? After last night you've had a lot on your mind especially now that we're engaged and with school..."

 "Maybe you're right. I also wonder how Skylar is doing over there with her family; thank God Gerard is there with her." Danielle paused "Bob...can I ask you something?"

 "Sure anything for you"

 "Gerard wouldn't hurt Sky right?" She asked and Bob frowned

 "How do you mean hurt?" He wanted to know

 "Break her heart"

 "Gerard may be a lot of things but if there is one thing I know it is that he loves her to much too ever hurt her. He is constantly thinking, talking and doing things for her. You should see him when he's with us it's all he does. He calls her every hour or texts her. He wouldn't hurt her" He assured

 "Everyone says that until they do it" Danielle exclaimed "But okay thanks for sharing" She kissed him hasty

 "Why are you asking me such a silly question?"

 "I don't want her to get hurt. She has enough to deal with right now and I want her happy." She told him and sat down next to him crossing her legs

 "Isn't she happy now?" Bob looked at her as she took a sip of her water and awaited her answer

 "She is. It's the same like Gerard really, she talks bout him none stop and does things for him. I'd rank her happy yes." She smiled then Bob kissed her cheek

 "Want some ice-cream?" Bob asked out of the blue and got Danielle all excited

 "Hell yeah!"

 "Then put on your shoes and jacket so I can buy my little bunny an ice-cream" He stood up and she raised her brows at him

 "Little bunny? Are you kidding me, c'mon Bob be original!" She laughed as they walked out of the apartment and locked the door walking down the few steps making their way to the nearest best ice-cream shop talking about the most cliché names couples have for one another.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Unconditional Faith:

 

Chapter 31:

 

“Ah here she is” My gran said putting her hands on both sides of my cheeks then hugged me “It’s been to long” she smiled at me after parting from the hug

 

“Yeah…to long” I smiled weakly

 

“Who may this strapping young man be?” My aunt asked ogling him and I gripped his hand tighter

 

“Oh sorry this is Gerard. Gerard this is my family” I introduced him as he said hi to everyone by shaking their hands then he started taking our luggage out of the trunk

 

“Let me help with that” My dad offered and walked over to us with my uncle as my gran grabbed my arm and hooked hers in it as we started walking towards the house with my aunt. I looked back at Gerard as he gave me a smile and winked at me hopefully indicating that everything would be fine.

 

“What a handsome man you brought home” My aunt said again as I looked to my left smiling

 

“Thanks he is absolutely gorgeous” I replied taking deep breaths as we walked over the threshold into the kitchen and I saw Becka sitting across from Lacy

 

“Look who’s here!” My aunt said excited sort of pushing me inside as Becka stood up

 

“Just look at you, all grown up” She hugged me with a smile as I hugged back then let go. Becka was my uncle’s wife; out of my whole family she’s the true honest person who is really nice.

 

“It’s about time” Lacy commented from her side of the table. She would be my dads…erm…girlfriend, I think, or fiancé… lets stick to girlfriend shall we? “Gone a whole full five-years without calling once and now decides to show up, yes sounds like a real Storm to me”

 

“Now Lacy control your strong personality” My uncle told her when they walked through the door with our luggage

 

“Yes we will keep the festivities for later” she raised a brow at me and I squinted my eyes in her direction

 

“Becka this is Gerard” I claimed as she shook his hand

 

“Nice to meet you, firm handshake that’s a good sign” she noticed and made him blush “Let me take you to your room and you can get settled” she started walking through the kitchen and just when we were about to leave the room my uncle realized something

 

“Hold up, they aren’t sleeping in the same room are they?” He frowned towards Becka as Gerard and I stood close by

 

“Yes they are, unless you are expecting one of them to sleep on the couch”

 

“That wouldn’t be such a bad idea” He said and I saw Becka giving him a funny look

 

“Don’t be old fashioned now. They can sleep in the same bed there’s nothing wrong with that” Becka stated then walked out as we followed

 

“I do not like that they are in the same room together” I heard my uncle say and shook my head walking down the dark hall and took a right at the second door

 

“Here you are” Becka said once we were inside “If you need anything extra just let me know like blankets or towels or anything”

 

“Thanks a lot” I smiled grateful towards her and I think she saw the fear in my eyes

 

“Don’t worry about them I’ll sort them out. They can’t control you, you have your own life” I looked at Gerard who shrugged at me then looked back at her

 

“Nice to know someone doesn’t hate me for going away” I tried laughing but failed

 

“I’d done it to if I were you, your family are nuts completely! I fell in-love with your uncle and now I’m married and the family came with the package. I keep a balance, I know how to pull his strings” I chuckled at her words “I’ll leave you two too it then. Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes” She walked out and shut the door behind her

 

“Fuck” I breathed as I fell on the bed closing my eyes lying on my back

 

“That wasn’t too bad” Gerard said and I opened one eye staring at him “Okay it was pretty intense but it could have been worse”

 

“Just wait till dinner, that’s when the fun usually starts” I wiggled my brows at him

 

“Should we get dressed?” He wanted to know “Because I don’t think I have any like clothes that are formal worthy”

 

“No we don’t do that here. We stay in our clothes we have on unless we go out for dinner” I informed him

 

“Thank God. By the way who is that woman with the black hair?” Gerard asked me and I sat up turning around

 

“Lacy she’s my dads something” I answered him

 

“Something” He frowned

 

“Yes I can’t keep up anymore. Then they are together then they aren’t then they’re engaged then they broke up…Only they know what’s going on there” I explained as he nodded

 

“Oh because it seems like there is a thing going on between you and her”

 

“So you noticed huh?” I chuckled “You see we used to get along perfectly but that all changed when I discovered My Chemical Romance and my passion for music. She didn’t like the way I dressed and things I did. She called my music satanic and that I’m not allowed to listen to it when I’m with my dad because it brings ghosts and demons inside her house and gives her nightmares…she criticized me and who I was. I started going to my dad less and less until I was gone. She still tells people that my music is satanic and all that”

 

“I can see clearly now” Gerard joked as I rolled my eyes at him

 

“She has a really strong personality and is straight foreword with you no matter what so please be prepared” I told him 

 

“Should I be scared?”

 

“You should’ve been petrified the minute we got off of the plane” I told him and his grew wide

 

“Aw shit” He exclaimed and crawled up on the bed until his face was only inches away from mine staring straight into my eyes and just as he was about to kiss me there was a knock on the door and before I could say something it opened and in came Maggie

 

“Hi Skylar” she waved and I looked at her

 

“Hey come give me a hug” I said and she walked closer to me so I could hug her “You’ve gotten big last time I saw you was when you were six-years old”

 

“Yes I’m eleven now” She smiled shyly looking at Gerard “Hi”

 

“Hello I’m Gerard” He extended his hand to her but she rejected

 

“Dinner is ready and mommy said that she hopes we don’t have to wait another five years for you to show up for it” Maggie turned around then walked out leaving the door open

 

“Let me guess that was Lacy’s kid?” he chuckled and I nodded

 

“Well c’mon let’s go eat” I put on my widest fake smile ever

 

“Don’t do that it’s scary” Gerard laughed as he put his hands on my shoulders and started leading me down the hall and into the kitchen where everyone was seated and awaiting us

 

“See we should have sent Maggie to go get her five years ago to then she would’ve come” Lacy said once we sat down and I ignored her

 

“I’m sure Skylar was just busy, working on her career” Becka defended “Let’s eat shall we?” We started dishing up and passing food around the table as I got looks from Lacy and Maggie, I wasn’t sure why I was getting them from Maggie but I’m sure her mother had something to do with it. After everyone was done and had their plates all filled up Gerard took his fork in his right hand and started eating with everyone staring at him. I sat there nudging his arm lightly and he looked up and let go of the fork at once

 

“Sorry” He apologized

 

“Mhm” Lacy mumbled I took hold of Gerard’s left hand as Becka took hold of mine and my uncle said grace

 

“Amen” we all said in unison

 

“Now you can dig in” I whispered over to Gerard and he put his hand on my leg blushing

 

“So Gerard what is it you do?” My uncle asked

 

“He’s in a band” I replied

 

“For how long” My dad asked him and that’s when I knew this dinner was going to be filled with questions

 

“I started when I was twenty-four. Before that I worked for cartoon network drawing cartoons” He told them

 

“What made you change your mind” My dad asked again

 

“I saw the Twin Towers tumbling to the ground and the bodies falling that’s when I asked myself the question: what are you doing to help other people?” He explained

 

“That’s when you decided to be in a band making music messing with kid’s heads?” Lacy laughed and I got fed up

 

“You know what…” I started but Gerard squeezed my leg under the table and I held it back smiling “This chicken is really good” I told Becka

 

“Why thank you”

 

“Pleasure” I said biting on my teeth continuing my eating

 

“How much do you make off of being in a band?” My uncle asked curious “You tour a lot, make music- videos, record albums and you have to split the prophet you make in…how many are you in this band?”

 

“We make a lot. We are five in the band but for us money isn’t a big deal we will do shows for free just as long as we can do what we love and that’s making music” Gerard said

 

“Now Skylar how is the band thing working for you” My dad asked and I was thankful to see they turned the questioning to me and left Gerard alone

 

“It went well” I smiled

 

“Went well, that’s past tense” My gran noticed

 

“Well spotted” I mumbled to myself

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Yes we broke up; things didn’t work out the way we wanted it to. It was great while it lasted and we played some amazing shows. If it wasn’t for the band I wouldn’t have met Gerard that night backstage and I wouldn’t be this happy” I said looking at him

 

“How long have you been dating?” My aunt asked us and he looked at me

 

“Skylar counts it from the first day we met but I count it from the first…” He started and my eyes shot wide

 

“Date” I yelled out and we chuckled as my family sat there staring at us “Let’s make that about four to five moths”

 

“Oh not that long yet” My aunt said and looked up at him

 

“You are incredibly luscious my boy” My gran complimented him and Gerard swallowed a knot in his throat

 

“Thank you but I’m not as charming as you” He replied and I wanted to laugh so badly but I put my hand in front of my mouth to hide my smile so I took a sip of my glass of water

 

“Skylar you have amazing boobs” My aunt complimented me and I spat out the water back in my glass and I heard chocking and I patted his back

 

“Yes I noticed them to, just perfect. Gerard is a lucky guy” My gran said

 

“I am lucky, lucky to have her with me” He answered and I suddenly heard heavy guitar chords coming from somewhere in the room

 

“We’re screaming’ like demons and swinging from the ceiling” It was my phone ringing and my purse was on the counter. I excused myself from the table then answered it

 

“See I told you, screaming like demons and swinging from the ceiling now if that isn’t proof I don’t know what is” Lacy said referring to my ringing tone of course

 

“Hello”

 

“Skylar” I heard on the other side but the connection was faulty

 

“Yes…Danny is it you?” I asked as I heard sobbing

 

“Oh my God Sky you’ll never believe what happened” She said and I looked over at Gerard and he squinted his eyes

 

“Is everything okay must I come back, do you need me?” I asked worried and I heard a loud ‘boom’ on her side “What was that?”

 

“No Sky everything is fine, I’ve got something to tell you” Danielle said “I’m engaged!”

 

“What!” I yelled astonished and I heard Jamie and Meredith cheering in the background as everyone was staring at me

 

“Is that Meredith?” I asked trying to hear

 

“You see she planned this” Lacy exclaimed

 

“Planned what?” Becka asked

 

“That someone would call her so she can go back earlier” She said and Becka shook her head

 

“Danielle oh my God I don’t know what to say” I told her

 

“Yes it is Meredith! Say nothing just get your butt back here as soon as you can we got planning baby. I love you” She said then hung up and I had a shocked expression upon my face

 

“Skylar is everything okay?” Gerard asked me concerned as I looked at him

 

“Danielle and Bob are engaged!” at my words his eyes shot wide and his smile grew wide

 

 

 

 

 

 Unconditional Faith:

 

Chapter 30:

 

“Bob c’mon, I think I deserve to know where you are taking me” Danielle told him after they have been walking for quiet some time

 

“Why are you whining so much” Bob asked her as he continued walking two feet in front of her leading the way

 

“I’m not whining. I’m just asking because it has been a few minutes of walking after we got out of the car. Besides you try walking in heals” Danielle smiled to herself as she took careful steps behind Bob not to slip and fall on the mud “Is this part of the date?”

 

“Yes it is” He started whispering

 

“In like a woody place?” she asked frowning and Bob stopped then sighed then gave her a glance “Okay-okay I’ll leave it to you and see”

 

“Thank you very much” He replied and Danielle kept following him. While they were walking past trees and bushes Danielle heard noises all around her, animal noises

 

“Bob” she whispered “Bob, you do know where we are right?”

 

“Third planet from the sun called planet earth” He replied sarcastically and got a scowl from her as he kept on moving. She turned her head to the left and looked behind her when she bumped into Bob then frowned “We are here” He smiled widely and lifted a branch then took hold of her hand

 

“What is it you…wa” She stopped talking as she saw the moon over the horizon of the lake “Oh my God, it feels like I can reach out and touch it” She said low and Bob came to stand tightly against her

 

“I know. I came here with my dad once when I was a lot younger; we saw something incredible that night. I was hoping it happens tonight to” Bob told her as he looked down into her eyes

 

“What did you see?” she asked curiously

 

“You’ll have to wait to find out”

 

“You think it will happen?” She wanted to know

 

“We will have to wait and see. It happened exactly at twelve-thirty” Bob said then sat down on a small patch of grass “Care to join me?”

 

“Sure” She smiled then sat down next to him as he warped his arm around her shoulders waiting for the remarkable to happen.

 

 

******

 

 

“I can’t tell you how much I miss you right now” Frank told Jamie as he watched her over the webcam lying on her bed holding up her head with her elbows

 

“I miss you to! I wish you could hold me right now” She pouted in his direction watching a smile appear on his cute little face

 

“I would simply love to do that. Kiss your lips just feel you with me” Frank thought to himself

 

“You must come home, the time should pass really fast and then when you’re with me it can go super slow again” She exclaimed

 

“Distance is a bitch, isn’t it?” Frank asked and saw Jamie nodding her head “Has Skylar and Gerard left already?”

 

“Yeah they have, a few hours back really. They must have landed by now” Jamie informed him

 

“Gerard was kind of scared going with her” Frank told Jamie and she frowned “No don’t think wrong, he’s never met someone like her before and I guess he’s a bit over whelmed maybe. He said that if something happens he isn’t sure he’ll know what to do”

 

“Of course he will know what to do. Gerard loves her and will always be there for her she knows that, for a woman just knowing that is enough”

 

“You do know I love you, don’t you?” 

 

“I do that’s why I’m always smiling” she answered him

 

“What are Bob and Danielle up to?” He asked curiously

 

“Bob left Danielle a note on her bed with a big white box and told her to be ready at eight – sharp. So with a lot of confusion we looked at the clock and it said seven thirty. Danielle jumped in the shower and when she was done she got ready, I helped her and next thing you know Bob took her away, haven’t heard anything from them since.” She replied

 

“What was in the box?”

 

“Oh uhm… this really pretty white dress it wasn’t too formal and not to casual. Just right. Came up to her knees and went around her neck, she looked beautiful” Jamie smiled at Frank

 

“I want to go on a date with you again, a proper one. Like the first time we met. I remember you storming in the front door asking if you were late then ran in to Skylar’s room. As we sat in the car I couldn’t stop staring at you, you did things to me” Frank started telling her how he felt and Jamie’s facial expression grew with joy

 

“Aw Frank”

 

“And when I kissed you for the first time on that dance floor I just knew it was made to last” He stated and made her blush “Was a great kiss”

 

 “You’ve never told me this before” Jamie said

 

“I know and I’m sorry. It’s not really something you say to someone over MSN but I just had to. If you only knew what’s going on in my head-”

 

“I’m glad you said it. There isn’t really a right time for anything. Say what you feel at that moments you want don’t wait!” Jamie interrupted him with a huge smile

 

“I love you” Frank chuckled softly

 

“And me you” She replied with a subtle smile and gleaming eyes  

 

 

******

 

 

“Look” Danielle pointed at a firefly that flew towards her then went to sit on her chest “Well you’re welcome” She said looking down at it

 

“It’s starting” Bob smiled as he got up on his feet then extended his hand to her. She took hold of it and he pulled her up towards him and held her close “Look over there” he whispered as both of them looked towards the lake

 

“What is that?”  Danielle asked in amazement

 

“Fireflies”

 

“Can we go closer?” Danielle asked as she let go of Bob and started walking closer to the water until she was only a few feet away and gasped silently “It looks they are gliding on the surface. Dancing with one another celebrating”

 

“Well they do have something to celebrate…” Bob started and Danielle looked at him

 

“Like what?” He came closer and took her hands in his standing close to her

 

“Danielle I have never felt this way about anyone before. The things you do to me at times, the way you amaze me with the things you do. I have to catch my breath every time I look at you because you’re absolutely breath taking” He told her and as he spoke she became mesmerized by his words

 

“Oh my God” she said low to herself

 

“Oh yeah I almost forgot” Bob remembered as he started searching his pockets as Danielle’s eyes grew wide when she saw him take out a little dark bleu velvet box and went on one knee “My grandmother gave me this ring when I was still a teenager. She told me that I must give it to the woman I love and always will. So Danielle would you please do me the honour of wearing my grandmothers ring?”

 

“Holly shit” She blurted out as Bob looked up to her holding the box in his hand awaiting an answer smiling “Of course! Fuck…I mean…uh… Yes!”

 

He took it out of the box and placed it on her ring finger as she smiled from ear to ear “Thank God” He said getting up and kissed her passionately

 

“Is this why you have been so creepy and mysterious lately?” she asked him and he chuckled

 

“Yes it is. I hated it. Jamie gave me looks to kill at times and I got the feeling Skylar wanted to hurt me, I was seriously scared” Bob admitted and Danielle laughed

 

“That sounds like them alright” She said “I love you”

 

“I love you to” he replied and pulled her into a new kiss

 

 

******

 

 

We arrived in the place I was going to spend a whole weekend. The place I stayed in for fifteen years that tormented my life, made me want to rip my flesh apart and made me want to take my life…home sweet home.

 

As we walked towards the sliding doors that lead to the rest of South Africa I saw it coming closer and closer. With each movement I got slower and slower, right then I stopped dead in my tracks looking around paralyzed by my thoughts. Gerard looked to his left and saw I wasn’t there. He stopped then turned around seeing me a few feet away from him.

 

“Skylar why did you stop” He asked me frowning as I started breathing heavy

 

“Let’s go back. Or run as far away as we can” I pleaded as tears became shallow in my eyes and he wiped away a tear that ran down my cheek “I mean we can buy a ticket and go to…another place”

 

“No don’t cry” He told me then wrapped me in a hug “Everything will be fine. Stop thinking about it”

 

“It’s hard. Finally when I thought I was okay I had to come back. When I left I was demolished to nothing but dust and sorrow. I’m still dealing with repercussions. What will be left of me after this visit?” I asked shutting my eyes tightly just feeling his arms embrace me

 

“You didn’t have me last time” He said “I’m here for you and you aren’t the same person you used to be”

 

“Why does it feel like I’m useless all of a sudden?” I sobbed

 

“Because you are thinking about it. You aren’t the Skylar who gets beaten down. You are the girl who kicks ass in everything she does. You rise up no matter what the situation with faith right by your side” Gerard told me looking into my eyes and I gave him a tiny smile

 

“I’m really grateful God sent you to me” I told him

 

“No God sent you to me” Gerard said then kissed me on the forehead as he placed his hand on my lower back leading me towards the doors as they slid open and I got greeted by the late afternoon rays on my face as I felt the summer breeze swift over my skin gently and I smelled the air.

 

A man brought up our car we hired and we put our luggage in the back then got in ourselves. I handed Gerard a small piece of paper with my uncle’s address on it. He examined it then typed it into the GPS.

 

“Crap” I heard him say as I placed my purse on the floor next to my feet as we started pulling away

 

“What?”

 

“This feels weird with the steering wheel on the right instead of the left. I’m going to have to get used to this” He said and I chuckled 

 

“Should I drive?” I offered and he shook his head

 

“No, it’s a new experience for me” He replied and I frowned then rolled my eyes. I laid my head back as I watched the scenery pass by us. I wanted to put on music so badly but couldn’t because of the stupid GPS – voice leading the way. Everything seemed so familiar yet so different, they changed road names and they have built more buildings. For a second I thought a part of me missed it but I knew that was just a bad habit of mine lying to myself.

 

“Didn’t you want to call Danielle to tell her you’re safe?” Gerard asked me after a while

 

“I do want to but I think it’s twelve-am or something back home now anyway so I will do it just before we go to bed” I smiled then stroked my hand through his wavy black hair then he took my hand with his right one and kissed it softly

 

“I really hope we don’t have jetlag” Gerard said

 

“I don’t think you will because you do tour a lot. I think by now your body is used to being fucked around” I smiled cocky and he gave a loud gasp

 

“You are so complex” He claimed and I scowled at him “It’s about ten-to-six now and I’m already pooped”

 

“Me to. I wonder why” I asked

 

“I can’t say we slept in the plane” He stated and a small grin appeared on my face “Nope I know I’m sleeping like a baby tonight” I shook my head then just continued my staring out of the lightly tinted windows.

 

Most of the car ride was silent. I think both of us were caught up in what’s going to happen or what’s not. I gazed over at him and saw he had a serious look upon his face so I knew he was thinking hard about something. Sometimes I wish I could read Gerard’s mind I’d get lost in it!

 

We took a right down into a straight road. I knew I was just three-minutes away from meeting them again seeing their fake smiles and comments about everything, especially towards Gerard.

 

We drove up to the gate and Gerard reached out for the button on the tiny intercom outside the gate. After saying who we were they opened the gate and we drove in. He parked the car under the big tree then switched it off and pulled out the key and sat back looking at me.

 

“You ready?” He asked me

 

“Promise me you won’t fall for it. Fall for the act and flatteries…please promise me” I begged him as I saw them opening the front door and started walking out towards us.

 

“I promise” He assured me as we got out and opened the trunk as we stood there next to each other and I grabbed his hand biting my bottom lip as we were being approached by the Adam’s family….

 

 

 

 

 

Unconditional Faith:

 

 Chapter 29:

 

Friday. I’m standing in my room packing for the three-day stay at my gran. Everything’s planned and I guess I can’t turn back now. As I’m walking back and forth from my closet to my suitcase the thoughts ran through my head. I had no idea what they wanted, I had no idea what would happen. I just hoped that I won’t get upset. I couldn’t sleep last night; maybe this little trip is bothering me more than I thought.

 

Danielle was still at school. Jamie had gone to her first photography class, both of my smart ass friends had something going on. They said they will try and make it here as fast as they could. I told them I was leaving here at twelve in the afternoon and if they didn’t catch me in time they shouldn’t worry. I’ll text them as soon as I get there.

 

“Are you ready yet?” Gerard asked as he poked his head in my door way and I gave him a weak smile

 

“Yeah I am, let me just get my toothbrush and then I’ll zip up and we can go” I said then walked towards him and the door and just as I was passing him he put his arm out in front of me blocking my way. I looked up at him as he took me and pulled me into a hug

 

“Don’t worry, everything will be fine. I’ll be there for you” He said softly as I hugged him back

 

“Thank you” I replied the parted from the hug “I better get that toothbrush so we can leave, other wise we’ll be late” I walked down the hall to the tiled room and got the things I needed. I walked back into my room, put it in my suitcase then zipped it up like I had said and handed it to Gerard. He walked out of my room to the front door. I approached it slowly as I got my jacket and put it on.

 

“Man, never try running up stairs!” Danielle huffed out of breath as she burst into the apartment leaning against the doorway

 

“Maybe you should do that more often so you can get into shape” Jamie commented walking in like she didn’t feel the pain from the stairs

 

“Shut up” Danielle scoffed and stood up straight again “We made it in time”

 

“I see that” I nodded “Thank you for running up stairs for me”

 

“I’ll run up a million if I have to. It will take me a while though, maybe weeks or years” She frowned and I laughed

 

“Give me a hug” Jamie demanded and threw her arms around me

 

“Unfair, I also want a hug” Danielle pouted and I grabbed her hoodie then pulled her into the hug as well “That’s better”

 

“Sorry to interrupt the special moment you guys have going on here, but Sky we have to go” I heard Gerard say and I squeezed them tighter than before then let go

 

“Don’t take shit” Danielle told me pointing her finger at me

 

“Yeah and call us when you land. Even though you don’t like that place please take some pictures of you two…I…erm…kinda need it for homework” Jamie smiled innocently

 

“I won’t take shit and I will do that. Can’t believe I have to do your first homework assignment. Love you guys” I said then walked out the door with Gerard right behind me. We walked down the stairs and then out of the building. We got in the car “And we are on our way”

 

“We are. Do you think that fans will recognize me there?” He asked and I looked at him with a rather crooked smile “What?”

 

“To be honest I have no idea. When I left there My Chemical Romance wasn’t that big yet. It could’ve changed along the years, especially now because The Black Parade made you guys popular in loads of new countries. I wouldn’t be to worried though…South Africans are just…well doff” I laughed to myself

 

“What does that even mean” He asked as he chuckled to my choice of words

 

“I don’t know how to explain it. If the recognize you just wave and walk as fast as you can. I don’t really know what they’ll do, I know that it’s a truly flirty nation and South Africa has got most of the beautiful woman in the world.” I explained as accurately I could

 

“They may have the most beautiful woman in the world, but they lost the most beautiful five years ago” He stated and gazed over to me “You”

 

“Aw, you’re too sweet. You’ll change your mind when you see the girls though, some of them are really breath taking” I informed him

 

“I’ll never change my mind about you” He said again

 

“You are getting to mushy now” I told him

 

“Should I rather save it for later?” He asked me and I nodded “Okay then, I will.”

 

“Good then” I smiled cocky and we continued driving to the airport.

 

******

 

“I need some coffee before I go back to class” Danielle claimed and walked to the kitchen “You want some?” She asked Jamie who was opening the fridge

 

“No thanks, I’ll just be having my yummy orange juice” She replied then got a clean glass from the cupboard “Did you find out where Bob was the other night”

 

“Oh yeah I did. He just said he was with Brian working on his playing” She answered back pouring the hot liquid into a cup

 

“Why were they working on his playing?” Jamie frowned jumping atop of the counter taking a sip of her orange juice

 

“He has been having some problems with his wrists. We hope it’s nothing serious.” Danielle told her “That reminds me, how is your wrist?”

 

“Well it’s a bit better. Still hurts when I do specific movements or press down on something, but I can assure you it’s nothing serious” She said

 

“Glad to hear it. You still owe me a fluffy pillow though” Danielle raised her right eye brow as she glanced over to Jamie

 

“Pssh, you’ve got be kidding me, I got hurt in the process. Your pillow merely covers the expenses” Jamie claimed

 

“What expenses? You didn’t go to the doctor! If you are talking about the sexy little surprise you bought for Frank yesterday you better make another trip to that mall missy” Danielle exclaimed then put her cup in the dishwasher

 

“You are extremely evil” Jamie stated then jumped off of the counter

 

“So I’ve been told” She smiled proudly “I better get back, have class soon. I seriously don’t want to be tardy on my third day”

 

“Yup, I have to stop by Music & Merch to. I promised Skylar I’ll help the new girl out while she’s gone.” Jamie said then walked to the front door

 

“Don’t you have class as well?”

 

“Nope I’m done for today. I don’t even have homework anymore since Skylar will do it for me” Jamie closed the door once both of them were out then locked it approaching the stairs

 

“What was the homework assignment anyway?” Danielle asked curious

 

“I must just take photos of an in-love couple” She shrugged “They are in-love as far as I know and they are a couple. Maybe I should just say that I will take the pics when they come back… could be better”

 

“I think that would be the better bet. Then you can tell them what to do and everything” Danielle smiled as they reached the last step

 

“Yup, and I can take some pics of you and Bob as well” She grinned

 

“Now that would be fun” Danielle wiggled her brows “Okay I’m going this way” She indicated left with her index finger

 

“I’m going right, see you later tonight then. Tell Bob about the tiny photo shoot tonight” Jamie said then they waved at each other and started walking down the paths.

 

Jamie skipped along the sidewalk between the tons of people in the city. She didn’t really care much for them; she was in her own little world. When she reached the shop she pushed the door open and saw poor Abigail was struggling. There was a long line of people waiting in front of the counter and the phone was ringing as the girl battled to help everyone. Jamie walked to her then answered the phone.

 

“Music & Merch, how can I help you?” She said and saw Abigail’s grateful expression. Abigail was able to help more people as they left with a smile and Jamie put the phone down “Hi I’m Jamie”

 

“Oh thank God! I was beginning to think this was part of the initiation or something” Abigail sighed as she continued helping the customers “I’m Abigail, feel free to call me Abby”

 

“Skylar and Danielle are cruel but they aren’t evil” Jamie laughed and jumped in with helping “That’s why Skylar sent me here to help you out while she’s gone. Sorry I couldn’t come earlier but I had a class”

 

“It’s okay, you’re here now” She smiled and took the money from the last customer “Phew!”

 

“Tough job” Jamie chuckled as Abigail plopped down in the chair “Luckily it’s just for the weekend plus you get paid extra, but that’s a secret”

 

“It’s not much of a secret now” Abigail laughed “But I’ll hush up…my lips are sealed”

 

After she helped out at the shop she made her way back to the apartment and started working on her ‘golden thoughts’ for the photo shoot tonight. She just needed a few shots of them. She got things together and saved some old photos on her laptop as she heard the front door slam.

 

“Will these photos containing nudity of any kind and will it be harmful to small children?” Bob asked as the three of them gathered in the living room

 

“Well, I prefer it not to have any nudity to be honest so please try and keep your clothes on at all times” Jamie smiled nodding her head

 

“Aw now that’s no fun” Danielle pouted and got a strange look from Bob “I’m kidding”

 

“It could be fun” He grinned “But I also don’t want Jamie seeing me in my birthday suit”

 

“I don’t even want to see you in your birthday suit…ever” Jamie stated and Danielle giggled

 

“You’re missing out though” She claimed

 

“Can we like start? I have other things to do as well you know” Jamie tapped her foot and the two of them got ready “Just look natural. Like I’m not here, do what you usually would do” She said then started taking pictures

 

“Then we have to be naked” Bob raised a brow

 

“Forget that then, just look happy” She rolled her eyes

 

“Guess that works as well” Danielle smiled up at him as he held her close

 

“No Bob, put your arm around her waist then pull her towards you” Jamie told him as he did as she said “That’s better”

 

“When do I get to kiss him?” Danielle wanted to know

 

“Dude, chill you will get to kiss him later I promise” Jamie shook her head “Now smile like you are enjoying it” She said and took the shot

 

“Can I put on Gerard’s pink-diva scarf?” Bob asked enthusiastically

 

“Sure why not, it’s not like you two are listening to me anyway” She said as she awaited them to finish playing dress up

 

“Did you say something?” Danielle asked Jamie and she shook her head

 

“Now I’m going to press the little button and just press it rapidly while you guys are happy and jolly and keep doing new poses and facial expression…got that?” Jamie told them as they nodded “Good…three-two-one” She counted and stared taking pictures again as Danielle and Bob went crazy doing things and expressions “The camera loves you”

 

******

 

 Flying thousands of miles in the air can be scary. Amazing how a thing this heavy can fly so high up in the sky. I mean if I jump off of my bed gravity pulls me down immediately and this thing can fly for hours. I wonder how it’s able to do that, then again finding out will just bore me anyway. It’s more fun wondering.

 

I was sitting there reading a book called ‘Curse or a blessing’ by Derek Prince. Gerard bought it for me yesterday. He said he was in his normal comic shop when he over heard people talking about the book and thought he should buy it for me. Apparently it can help me break the curses put on my life because of the wrong doings my family did. Help me deal with my past and fully forgive and forget. Derek talks about why the bad things are happening to you and he touches all the small, fine details in-between. I’m only a few pages in and I’ve got a lot of reading ahead of me…

 

“Who are we going to meet first?” Gerard asked me as I put the book down on my lap

 

“My dad’s side of the family, we’ll be having dinner with them at my uncle’s home then we are sleeping over there” I told him

 

“After that” He asked me again

 

“After that we are heading towards my gran’s house where you will meet my mom’s side of the family. The barbeque starts around three-pm. Then we’ll sleep over there again then Sunday morning we leave as early as we can on a plane back home” I said

 

“Thanks for informing me” He smiled looking towards me with those hazel eyes

 

“Not a problem” I whispered and he kissed me lightly on the lips “You know how to arouse me in the most inappropriate times”

 

“What makes it such a bad time?” He asked me smirking and I looked kind of shocked at him “We have talked about this moment before”

 

“We have talked about loads of places and situations and I have to say we have done most of those dangerous ones mr” I told him then held up my book again with a small smile on my face continuing my reading. I felt his eyes were still on me, I felt him watching me and I could just imagine what he was thinking. I turned my head back towards him “Stop it”

 

“Stop what?” He asked as I saw his eyes move down my body and I pointed my finger at him then he kissed it

 

“Gerard, what if they catch us? Or most embarrassing hear us” I asked him

 

“They won’t hear me” He bluntly stated

 

“I’ll make them hear you” I replied cocky and he looked at me with wide eyes

 

“Is that a challenge?” He asked me as I wiggled my brows at him

 

“Why don’t you find out?” I answered kissing him hard then parted standing up walking towards the tiny stall…

 

 

 

Unconditional Faith:

 

 

Chapter 28:

 

Going back home, or my former home. Place of lies, hurt, pain, regret and remorse. Bad things, lost memories and faded feelings. Don’t know how to feel about it. Don’t know what’s going to happen. Don’t know how things will turn out. I kind of feel bad because I don’t want Gerard to go there, I don’t want him to see the people who caused my depression.

 

If you think about it, life’s full of unknown facts. The future is unseen and you can only imagine how things could happen, and if you don’t like the result you can always think up a better one. In reality, you only get one chance, if it doesn’t turn out the way you hoped to bad. Live with it, learn to deal with it and try to make the best out of your situation.

 

Personally it’s about testing yourself. Your ability to control and think before you act. Maybe that’s why God gave us free will. To teach us how to deal, teach us responsibility and how to be in total control of your life and if your life crashes use the knowledge you’ve gained from former mistakes. Learn from them. These are questions I’ve been asking myself since I was young and with time I’ve found the answers to them. It’s all about time and patience.

 

I couldn’t sleep anymore. It was about six-thirty in the morning and I’ve gotten too caught up in my thoughts. I got up carefully so I wouldn’t wake up Gerard. I walked over to my laptop and decided to check my mail again. I signed into Buzznet and saw the previous notes I didn’t bother to reply last time, maybe I will now since I have time. I clicked on them and started reading them…

 

I blocked the users who badmouthed me. I replied on only a few notes although I know it isn’t fair to the others but there were just too many. I figured I’d post a journal about it and apologize to the people who I didn’t answer if they read it good, if they don’t to bad. After doing that I checked a few messages I had and saw I had a message from Max. Max’s email made me laugh. He’s just a funny guy all around. I replied to him then went to my next message

 

I saw it was the same user-name as the girl who stood up for me. I was kind of happy to see she replied: “Hi, it’s not a problem at all. I’ve met you and Gerard in Switzerland. I’m the girl who asked for your autograph and you told me not to take beauty for granted. Hope you have a nice day” Now I remember her. I replied to that as well and it was sort of comforting to know you still get decent people out there.

 

“Hey are you up already?” I heard a voice and I looked at Gerard

 

“Yup I have been for a while already” I told him and he turned on his left side to look at me

 

“Why didn’t you wake me as well? I could’ve kept you company” He said with a scratchy voice as I turned off my laptop

 

“Aw, that’s so sweet of you” I smiled as I walked over to him then fell atop of him and rolled off on the other side of the bed then just laid there on my back “But I didn’t want to wake you, you don’t get that much sleep anyway”

 

“You are so thoughtful” He stated and turned once again to face me then looked down into my eyes then kissed me softly

 

“Mmm, that’s nice” I whispered and put my arms around his neck

 

“Same here” He said and kissed me back harder

 

“To bad I have to get up now to get ready for work” I informed him and he parted then looked at me

 

“What a shame” He said and I threw him off of me and he landed on his back then I got up and opened my closet doors “How were the interviews yesterday, did you find someone at least?”

 

“It went fine; Danielle and I laughed a lot. They thought we were freaks. It was fun. We did find someone, her name is Abigail, and she looks cool” I told him

 

“Was she happy to find out she got the job?” he wanted to know

 

“She doesn’t know yet, we still have to tell her” I said while putting my clothes I was going to wear on the bed

 

“Then I guess you better tell her, just phone or text her” He claimed and I got a bright idea. I think you could even see the little light bulb above my head going ‘click’

 

“You can tell her! You can phone her and let her know she got the job, wouldn’t that be cool?” I asked talking fast and he looked frightened at my excitement “I know it would’ve been cool if someone did that with me, it’s not everyday that a famous person calls you!”

 

“Okay I’ll do it, just stop with the excitement” He said and I calmed down then I threw him my phone and he dialled her number. “Hello, is this Abigail?” I heard him ask and I sat on the bed “Hi it’s Gerard Way and I have good news for you” I heard her gasping and asking if it was really him it was cute “You got the job at Music & Merch” As he said that I heard a yell over the phone and got a huge smile on my face “I’m being told that you have to come in today at eight o’clock to start, have a lovely day dear bye” He hung up and I smiled up at him

 

“Thank you for doing that. Doesn’t it feel good to make another person happy?” I asked him and he gave me a weird look “Oh never mind” I got up and opened my door then paused and turned around “I’m going to take a shower, want to join me?” I asked and smirked as he jumped from the bed and I raced him to the bathroom as we locked the door behind us.

 

 

******

 

“If that doesn’t work just try something else” I told Danielle as we stood in the shop. She came with me to see if we had any new merch she could buy for Jamie for Christmas “It is things on her list which means you can buy anything on there and she would be happy because it’s what she wants”

 

“I know I just hate buying gifts. I suck at it and I don’t want to buy her something she doesn’t want because I hate it when people give me something I don’t want” She sighed

 

“Danny chill, like I said it’s on her list. That list is like four pages long so you have a wide variety and she wouldn’t have put it there if she didn’t want it” I said again as we stood amongst the clothes and she looked at everything

 

“You’re right; I’m just stressed up about the holidays and what I have to buy for everyone.” She admitted “Oh crap, what am I going to buy for Bob?”

 

“I don’t know, tell him to make a list” I shrugged at her

 

“Man, holidays suck!” She stated and threw her head down as the shop door opened and I saw Abigail walk in with a smile on her face “I better go, I don’t want to be late. Please just tell me that the both of us can go Christmas shopping sometime so I won’t be alone”

 

“I promise we can go together.” I assured her as we walked towards the door “Now forget about it and enjoy school” I waved at her and she was on her way. I turned around and Abigail stood there “Hello”

 

“Hi, oh my God I’m so happy I got the job. Thank you so much” She exclaimed

 

“It’s not a problem, to be honest those other girls looked to stuck up for the job anyway” I winked at her then went behind the counter to get my phone

 

“I wanted to ask you, how did you get Gerard Way to call me that early in the morning?” She asked curious and I looked up at her

 

“When I woke up he was lying next to me you see and I got this brilliant idea that he should call you” I told her

 

“Wait, isn’t he going out with Skylar?” She got a confused looked on her face

 

“He is. Don’t you know my name?” I chuckled and I saw she was thinking

 

“No, shit I don’t! I came late remember” She said and I nodded

 

“That’s right. Skylar Storm at your service” I extended my hand and it looked like she was going to faint

 

“Shit! I knew you looked familiar. This is one great day” She smiled broadly and I couldn’t help but laugh at her actions. She was cute, so full of life. After we cleared all of the fine details I showed her what she would be doing and how she should do it. There wasn’t much to do today anyway because I did most of it earlier this month. We didn’t have any stock to put out all she had to do is to help me with the customers.

 

******

 

“I miss Frankie” Jamie pouted sitting on Danielle’s bed with a pillow on her lap

 

“When is he coming back?” Danielle asked her while putting the clean clothes back in her closet

 

“Late Sunday evening”

 

“Well, there’s only three days left” Danielle told her

 

“No, it’s a night and three days to be precise. A night alone once again without him” She whined and fell back on the bed then threw the pillow on her face

 

“How did you manage to be without him before you met him then?” Danielle wanted to know “It’s all in the mind missy!”

 

“Now you sound like Skylar” Jamie said “Although I guess you’re right. I just miss his arms around me, the sound of his voice. The way he’d touch me when-”

 

“Don’t even want to know!” Danielle interrupted her with wide eyes then sat down across from Jamie

 

“Spoil sport” Jamie blurted out and lifted the pillow a bit to look at Danielle

 

“Spoil sport? Did you just call me a spoil sport?” She asked raising an eyebrow

 

“Maybe…”

 

“Oh I’ll show you spoil sport!” Danielle claimed and started tickling Jamie as Jamie started kicking and yelling. “Who’s the spoil sport now huh?”

 

“Still you” Jamie stated out of breath from laughing so much. She grabbed a pillow from above her head and started hitting Danielle with it so she would stop tickling her, when she finally stopped she got up on two feet and continued hitting.

 

“Not fair, I don’t have one” Danielle said with her hands over her head to block the hits she was getting for Jamie. She stood up on the bed like Jamie then grabbed the pillow and both of them started pulling on the ends of it.

 

“Let go of my pillow” Jamie demanded “It’s mine”

 

“Technically it’s mine since you got it from my bed” Danielle said

 

“Who cares” She replied and both of them were pulling harder and harder until the fluffy soft cushion tore and it caused both of them to fly through the air and land on the floor as they started laughing

 

“This looks fun” Bob smiled as he stood in the door way looking at all of the feathers floating in the air falling gracefully down towards the floor

 

“I think you need a new pillow” Jamie told Danielle as she tried to get up

 

“What? No I don’t think so, you owe me a new one” She stated as Bob helped her up from the ground “Now my back hurts”

 

“I think I sprained my wrist when I fell” Jamie said holding her left hand in her right turning it from side-to-side

 

“Maybe you should go to the doctor to make sure” Bob suggested

 

“She can go after she helps me to clean up this mess she helped me create” Danielle tapped her foot gazing towards her

 

“I have such caring friends” Jamie huffed sarcastically “No I don’t think it would be necessary for a trip to the doctor. It should get better it just hurts a little when I move it”

 

“Should I get you some ice?” Bob offered and she shook her head

 

“Nah, I’ll get it myself thanks anyway” She smiled then walked to the kitchen

 

“Hi” Danielle said then turned to him and kissed him tenderly “I missed you last night”

 

“Yeah sorry about that, I only saw your messages late and I didn’t want to bother you if you’re sleeping” He said and Danielle nodded slowly

 

“It’s fine, so where were you” She wanted to know and saw he started thinking

 

“I…erm…” He started “I was just at the studio with Brian; we worked on my playing because I’ve been having that pain in my wrist” He lied

 

“Oh okay, I hope nothing serious are happening to your wrists. We can’t have the best drummer in the best band quit now can we?” She went closer to him then put her hands around his neck and he squeezed her tightly against him “Ouch that hurt”

 

  “You’re back?” He asked and she nodded “Well let me examine you” He smirked and headed towards the bed as both of them fell on it and he started kissing her in the neck.

 

“Do we have some…” Jamie started but stopped as soon as she looked inside “Jeez people. At least close the door!” she grabbed the knob and shut the door as quickly as she could then sighed to herself and shook her head then decided she would go and watch a movie on television…