From the razor to the rosary

Unconditional Faith:

 Chapter 45:

Warm embrace, strong arms holding you feeling their body lying tightly against yours. Their breaths in your neck as you feel calm and serene. A smile appears on your face because you have started to dream about that person, until you feel something rising and you realize that something is wrong...

Gerard's eyes opened and he was staring into his wall. He felt someone holding him and something poking him in his lower back, something a straight man should never feel. He took a deep breath and decided to stay calm "Frank" He said low as Frank gave a little pleasurable sigh to show he heard him "Frank Iero that better be your phone poking me"

"What?" Frank asked sleepily as he shifted his position and held Gerard tighter sliding his hand to Gerard's chest trying to grab hold of something that wasn't there. Frank got a little frown on his forehead as his right hand started feeling around.

"I can promise you, you won't find what you are looking for" Gerard stated just lying still waiting for Frank to realize he's spooning with the wrong person "I don't have breasts Frank"

Frank opened his eyes staring straight into Gerard's pitch black hair. He let go of Gerard immediately once he became conscious. He went to lie on his back as he started giggling "Oh man this is so weird"

"You're telling me?" Gerard asked as he sat up in the bed

"I guess I just sensed that you are lonely" Frank claimed turning on his side facing his friend, holding up his head with his hand. Gerard looked at Frank with a puzzled look before he shook his head "I'm serious, I know you are lonely. I'm trying to help you out, hence the bonor"

Gerard let out a little chuckle as he looked the other way "You know that if you want to stay here you can't exactly hit on me right?"

"But...but...but..." Frank put on his pouty face "You're always the one grabbing me on stage. I know you want me, don't deny it"

"You better add that you are joking because I seriously do not want to butt fuck right now" Gerard told him while Frank put on a seductive look examining Gerard's torso "Frank, stop that"

"Shh..."  Frank placed his index finger over Gerard's lips speaking in an erotic tone "Don't say a word. This might be a good time to tell you that I'm completely naked"

"Dude, no!" Gerard jumped out of bed with a disgusted facial expression as Frank burst into laughter rolling around in the sheets "Mom! I need new sheets please" He yelled

When Frank caught his breath again he sat up drying away a tear from his left eye "Gerard do you honestly think that I, Frankie whom you have known for a very long time, will butt fuck you?" He asked as Gerard stood there staring at him "The answer that you are looking for is no"

"That's a relief" Gerard sighed "I know I'm lonely but I'm not that lonely"

"Ah-hah so you admit you're lonesome?" Frank pointed his finger towards his friend as Gerard shrugged walking to his drawer and getting a cigarette

"I guess I am, I've kinda gotten use to having someone by my side. Waking up to something I love..." Gerard lit the cancer stick and puffed it a few times "and no, not a friendly bonor. I prefer Skylar."

"How long have you been separated?"

"Since December" Gerard answered him blowing out some white smoke

"That's almost four-months" Frank counted on his fingers

"Yeah almost"

"Why haven't you gone out there to get another person to love?" Frank asked and received a glance in return "You are Gerard Way, you can get anyone you want"

"That's exactly my point. I can get anyone I want, but I don't want anyone. I want the person who I love more than anything; the one who makes me smile when I just think of her. The one who makes my knees weak every time I see her" Gerard told him

"That person can only be Skylar, right?" Gerard nodded towards Frank "Then why haven't you done something about it?"

"Have you spoken to Mikey? Because now you are staring to sound like him"

"No I haven't, but we are worried about you" Frank declared

"I wanted to do something about it but ever since that night I can't help but think she's better off. I mean she's doing great. Writing songs and making a record. To me it feels as if I was the one holding her back from her full potential" Gerard explained

"Well yeah, she has more time now because she doesn't have someone in her life just like you" he exclaimed "But don't think for one second that she isn't still thinking of you. Believe me she is."

Gerard stood there thinking for a while before he changed the subject "By the way, please remind me again why you are staying over here?"

"Jamie is busy with that huge final project for her photography class and she kicked me out because apparently I'm the one distracting her" Frank said putting the word distracting into air commas

"Yeah jeez, I wonder why she would say that" Gerard replied sarcastically as he received a scowl from Frank

"Luckily I'm meeting her for dinner then I'll take advantage of the time we have together" Frank smirked before he got out of bed walking to the bathroom/

 ******

I am creatively drained. It seems like my mind is on strike because no new ideas have popped up and I can't seem to find inspiration from anything at all. This could make me extremely frustrated because I would be in a thinking state all the time, with no luck what so ever because my mind only runs in circles.

I had to write one more song then I would have all the material I need to finish the record. The guys have been helping me out a lot by lending their legendary experience and awestruck skills to me. They helped me finish five songs and may I say those songs are exceptional. I was happy with the way everything was going, I was having fun in the studio with everyone but my only problem was writing a new song.

I was standing in the kitchen preparing dinner while I was thinking of my best friend's wedding. I had to talk to her about some things, it was eight-weeks before her big day and most of the things have been planned. I was getting excited about her getting married. It's wonderful to see two people love one another that much.

While I was chopping up some potatoes into long strips I heard the door slam and someone singing "Anyone home?"

"In here" I yelled back as they came into the kitchen

"Hmm something smells good, what are you making?" Danielle asked me once she poured herself a glass of water

"I was in the mood for steak and chips. So I'm chopping up potatoes now for the chips, hope you don't mind that this is what we are eating tonight." I gave her a smile as she took a sip of her water shaking her head "Good"

"I don't think Bob is eating here tonight. If my memory serves me correctly I think he mentioned something about Brian, I was horny so I didn't really listen" She shrugged as I laughed before I threw some strips into the boiling oil

"Talking about Bob, we have to discuss some wedding things" I wiped my hands on a cloth and threw it over my left shoulder before I walked out to get the folder with all the wedding arrangements and lists. I went to sit down across from Danielle at the island opening the folder "Okay everything is arranged, the venue, minister, band, photographer, caterer, wedding invitations, dresses are ready; they just need to be picked up. You registered for the wedding gifts; guest lists are ready which reminds me I'll be sending those out tomorrow"

"When did you finish it?" She asked me surprised as she was examining the list I had just read

"Gabby and I finished it at work and they will be sent out tomorrow" I informed her as I saw a smile grow on her face "All we need to do now is go to the florist tomorrow, and I made an appointment with the bakery down on the corner of fifth-avenue for your wedding cake. That should be fun"

"Wow, suddenly everything is set and ready" Danielle sighed "It's so bizarre"

"Getting married is bizarre. It's a huge thing to organize and plan and we did everything in time" I said as I wrote down the time of the appointment "Have you and Bob decided on the honeymoon yet?"

"Well he kinda said he wants to surprise me, so he's taking care of that. I'm perfectly fine with it because it takes some stress off of my shoulders. By the way, has Meredith said when she's flying in?"

"No she hasn't. I will call her tomorrow and get all the details" I wrote down again that I have to call Meredith "I think it's sweet that Bob is doing the honeymoon. There's something to it that I find romantic"

"You've always been a hopeless romantic" Danielle shook her head "Always believing in true love, and that there can be a happily ever after"

"Yet you're the one who's getting married and on your way to being swept off of your feet" I chuckled softly to myself "Ironic actually"

"How are you holding up?" Danielle asked me as I looked at her before I got up and walked over to the pot full of boiling oil

"Fine, why wouldn't I be okay?"

"I don't know. Doesn't it make you sad planning my wedding?" She turned her body to face me as I was throwing some more strips into the pot "Thinking of how much you shared and the things you had planned for the future"

I didn't answer her right away. I was afraid I might deny my feelings and that's something I didn't want to do. After wiping my hands again I turned to her leaning against the counter folding my arms across my chest "It doesn't make me sad, but it makes me miss him. When we went to fit the bridesmaid's dresses I couldn't help but imagine what our wedding would've been like. It just makes me miss the little things we use to do together, the way we use to be and when he kept showing up at the studio with the rest of the guys it killed me, but I couldn't let myself crack."

"Because he hurt you"

"Yes, because he hurt me. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. I'm sure he's moved on." I smiled towards her and she smiled back sympathetically

"You still love him a lot" Danielle stated as I laughed briefly "I can see it"

"I do still love him. Sadly I don't think my feelings would ever change but I'm hoping that it would at least fade a little bit so I wouldn't feel this way." I told her and threw the last strips in the pot "I really thought he was the one, after all I gave myself to him fully but it's all in the past now" I shrugged

We heard the front door slam again and a smiling Jamie walked in greeting us cheerfully "I want to ask you guys something" She got started as I got rid of the boiling oil and switched off the stove before I sat down next to Danielle to hear what she wanted to ask

"Go right ahead" Danielle said as Jamie slid in across us wearing a smirk

"What is your theory on oral sex?" was the question as Danielle and I looked at each other before laughing "C'mon guys I'm serious!"

"Well..." I said thinking biting my lip "I don't know what you want me to say"

"Okay let me rephrase my question" She said with her thinking face "Have you ever given your guy oral sex?"

"You mean to ask me have I ever sucked Bob's dick." Danielle chuckled "No"

"Damn, okay then it doesn't help if I ask you" Jamie said and looked at me "How about you?"

I looked frightened at her before I smiled bashfully "Yes, I have." I saw Danielle scrunch up her nose "what?"

"That's disgusting! Who knows where that thing has been?" Danielle stated

"In her" Jamie answered and I frowned

"First of all: ew and secondly don't judge me! It's part of foreplay and I kinda promised him I'd do it. He wanted to do the same to me but that I refused! It's just part the sexual experience and you will get there as well"

"Exactly" Jamie nodded once firmly "Why I'm asking is, I just jerked-off Frank under the table before he had to go with Brian. To me it was pleasuring"

 "I think you could've kept that to yourself" Danielle replied disgusted as I couldn't stop laughing

 "Did you spit or swallow?" I asked her as Danielle hit my arm

 "...uhm..."

 "Dude you swallowed!" I blurted out and I saw Jamie's cheeks turn red "God this is classic"

 "There wasn't anywhere to spit it, I had no choice" Jamie explained and I shook my head

 "Amateur"

 "Aren't you one to speak...?" Danielle turned her head to me "All of a sudden you're an expert?"

 "Look I tell you guys when I have sex, but I never tell you what we did and how we did it. I gave Gerard oral sex a lot" I admitted "No big deal"

 "You are sickening, you tell me you love me with that mouth" Danielle told me as I gave her a smirk "Ugh"

 "This reminds me of a very important stop we have to make at a shop tomorrow" I remembered and grabbed the folder again before I scribbled it down "I promised you I would do this and I keep my promises"

 "Yeah...just ask Gerard" Jamie said low and I scowled at her.

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