Estaschia's Journals

Unconditional Faith - Chapter 47:

Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 47:

I spent a whole day in the studio again. Danielle and I went in early to try and work on the last song, but it turned out to be a waste of precious hours. I apologized to her because the time she wasted with me she could've spent with Bob because they were leaving for the last few weeks of the tour the next day.

"Stop saying sorry" Danielle told me while she was digging in her purse "its okay, I'm going to be with him now in a few minutes. It's not like he's going to disappear"

I sat in the chair in front of the mixing board looking a little up to her watching while she got ready. She walked over to a little mirror that was put up against the wall next to the orange couch "I just feel bad about it. I see how sad you and Jamie get when they leave and then you miss them like crazy. I just don't want to be the reason for deducting time"

"You're not. He had things to do anyway" She touched up her eyeliner a little bit before putting on some lip gloss. She rubbed her lips together and made a little popping noise "There" she smiled looking in the mirror

"You look lovely" I complimented her and sent a smile her way. She was wearing her new black skinny jeans with a white top and a black over-coat that she left unbuttoned

"Thank you, Bob's taking me out tonight. I'm just not sure where or what we will be doing really" She frowned "But I'm sure I'll enjoy it anyway"

I chuckled a bit because of her facial expressions "Yeah, I'm sure you will"

"You really shouldn't beat yourself up about it Sky" She said and I made eye contact with her "Sure we weren't able to start a new song or at least a new song that we both like but it will come to you, I promise"

"I've always found it amazing how you have so much faith in me" I replied

"Well, you are a great at writing, you have awesome ideas and it will hit you sooner or later. Maybe you should try to take a break. You've been frustrating yourself the whole day trying to think of new material" She suggested

"Maybe I will. I'll see, it just bugs me because I know what I want to say it's finding the correct words that are straining" I told her again as the door opened and Bob walked in "Good evening"

"Hello" He replied simple with a smile closing the door behind him before he walked over to Danielle "It's really getting cold outside"

"It is?" Danielle asked surprised "I thought the forecast was going to be mild?"

"The wind started blowing late this afternoon and now I see there are some black clouds heading this way" Bob said as I sat back in the chair "Rain"

"Oh joy" Danielle exclaimed sarcastically "We'll have to go to the apartment so I can get a jacket then"

"No problem, it's on our way anyway" Bob answered her

"Alright then, we're on our way" Danielle turned to me "Now remember the numbers are on the fridge and don't talk to strangers" She mocked and I scowled at her

"Yes mom" I joked standing up and gave her a quick hug

"Don't over work yourself. Have a good night see you later..." She waved as they made their way out the door and closed it behind them "Oh" she remembered and poked her head in the doorway again before she threw something towards me and I caught it "Don't forget to lock up"

"Aye-aye captain" I saluted her with my hand as she was off again

I stood in the middle of the room for a while trying to decide what I wanted to do. I knew that if I went home I'd be alone the whole night because Jamie and Danielle went out. I'd order take-out and park myself in front of the television watching anything that seemed to be good and after that I'll go to bed.

'Hmmm...neh to boring'

Next I thought I could go out to some club, dance and just have fun - but I wasn't really dressed for that. I was wearing a red tank-top with a jean and my converse, which didn't really get me in a party mood plus I wasn't in the mood for drunken people.

Finally I made up my mind. I decided I would go to Starbucks which was only a five-minute-walk away. Then I'd buy me some coffee and come back to the studio and try to clear my mind a little - I liked that idea the most.

I grabbed my purse and started walking down the little hallway to the door that leads outside. I locked up like Danielle had told me to and began my little five-minute walk. While I was walking I felt the wind blowing rather strong like Bob had mentioned. I looked up and I could see the dark clouds as the lighting lit up the sky. I've always found rain to be a beautiful thing, even if a lot of people experience it as depressing.

When I reached Starbucks I opened the door and felt the warmth that came from inside. There were a few people sitting at the tables talking and some seemed to be working. I walked over to the counter as a young lady stood there smiling at me.

"Hi, how may I help you" she asked politely

"You can help me by getting me a warm café-latte to go please" I replied and smiled back and she turned around to make it for me. A few minutes later she returned with the cup in her hands and placed it in front of me while typing in some stuff on the till. After paying her I got hold of my warm cup and made my way out the door again.

While I was walking down the side-walk I got a feeling that someone was watching me. I started looking around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Couples were walking hand-in-hand, strangers were sitting in restaurants doing what they do - nope nothing unusual - yet I got that feeling. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind because I could get a little paranoid at times, especially when I was alone.

******

"Reaching out, to touch grace

And the picture frame keeps crumbling

A silhouette of your face

And at the end I keep on stumbling" I sat on the big Marshall speaker in the recording room with the guitar in my hands and a notebook in front of me. I've been sitting like this for about thirty-minutes trying my hardest to come up with at least one innovative stanza - it wasn't working out as planned. I picked on a few strings to try and work out the melody with those words - I didn't like it.

I bent over and took hold of the pen as I scribbled over the words I had written. I shook my head in discouragement as I let my head fall down. I sat like that for about five seconds before I decided to ridicule myself.

"You might as well give up now because you suck.

Your broken heart has drained your luck.

You thought you had a gift but then your butt got stuck

You might as well give up now because you suck.

La la lalala" I sang while playing a silly tune on the guitar just to mock my own capability.

I heard a soft chuckle and my eyes shot wide. I turned around to see who was spying on me and he started clapping his hands "Lovely, just inspiring" he said sardonic as he came closer

"What are you doing here?" Was the first thing that came out of my mouth, I was a little taken aback by him standing only a few feet away

"I saw you at Starbucks when you walked in. I was sitting at the table in the corner watching you" He told me as I started giving him a skeptical look "I know how that sounds, I wasn't stalking you"

"If you're not stalking me then why are you here?" I raised an eye brow at him

"I magically appeared here" he joked but saw I didn't find it amusing "When I saw you I couldn't stop looking at you. I knew you were alone tonight and I wanted to make sure you were safe."

"I'm safe"

He nodded slowly "The other reason I followed you is because when you left I couldn't bare the thought of not being with you anymore. When you walked in you automatically made me smile and it-"

"Gerard don't" I cut him off placing the guitar against the wall

"I can't stand not being part of your life anymore. I can't stand not speaking to you, kissing you and holding you. I can't stand not being there for you anymore" As he spoke those words, I felt that box in which I suffocated all my feelings burst open. I shut my eyes rapidly making my head fall foreword trying to contradict any tears

"Stop it, please" I pleaded him

"It's hard for me to not wake up next to you, all I see now when I open my eyes is-"

"Don't do this to me!" I yelled out rising from the speaker "Don't say anything, just stop!"

"It kills me Skylar!" He yelled back at me as I looked at him with shallow tears and a disbelieved look "It kills me knowing how I hurt you. I had to see you cry"

"You hate seeing me cry yet you are the one who caused me heartache. Do you have any idea how I loved you, any idea how I fully gave myself to you in every aspect?" I asked him with quivering lips "It's like donating someone your heart and having them throw it away because they'd rather die than accept it" I kept quiet for a while trying to gather myself but it was hard "You never loved me"

"Don't you dare say that" He claimed with a harsh voice "You can't really think that I never loved you. All those special moments we had, you made me so happy. There were nights that I would stay awake and watch you sleep because you are so beautiful"

"No, I can't listen to this!" I scoffed at him as I turned around and gave one step towards the door as he grabbed my right wrist pulling me in towards him.

"You're not leaving again, not this time" He told me and I yanked my hand out of his grasp

"Oh you mean like the first time?" I asked him "The time you were to much of a coward to try and get me back? You just let me go" I sighed shaking my head "Goodbye Gerard"

"Just give me a chance to explain"

"You had your chance Gerard, you had months to try and explain - I guess you just weren't up for the fight" I looked at him as he took a few steps closer to me.

"Then let me fight for you now" He then suddenly grabbed the back of my head with his left hand pulling me closer to his face causing our lips to collide. For the first few blissful seconds I remembered how much I missed his lips pressing against mine, but I quickly reminded myself how much the owner of those lips denied his love for me on international television.

I pulled away from him as he still had his right arm holding around my waist. I stepped back to get out of his reach and turned my back on him "You like to damage me, don't you?" I asked with a defeated tone. I felt his hands take a hold of my hips as he shoved mine into his. I felt his chest moving on my back while I heard his breath tickle the surface of my neck.

He placed a kiss on my neck as I let my head fall backwards on his shoulder. I couldn't help myself, I cannot deny the why he makes me feel. I knew I was going to regret this in the morning but I'm a puppet on a string, and he knows how to delegate me.

He moved his hands from my waist to the front of my jeans and gradually undid the button while loosening it. He placed kisses all the way down my neck until he reached my collarbone. He slowly slid his hands down my pants and stopped when his thumbs hooked on them. I gently took him by his wrists and pulled his hands out as I started stroking my fingers up his arms.

Gerard kissed my cheek and I turned my head to the left until I met his lips. I turned around facing him while wrapping my arms around his neck. He started walking backwards as we rested our foreheads together staring into each others eyes.

He hit another huge speaker as he sat down on it. I moved myself and sat on his lap with my legs over him. I kissed him once softly as his hands were holding me securely at the back. I slid my hands down his chest to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up as he removed it. When it was gone I slithered my hands back up his chest to his shoulders as he kissed me passionately.

He held me closer to him as he decided it was time to get rid of my top, and after a few seconds it was gone lying somewhere on the floor. He started kissing me in my neck again as I let my head fall backwards and he trailed kisses down from my neck - to my collarbone - and between my breast. I sat back up and plastered my lips against his harshly feeling the desire that burned in both of us.

He stood up from where we had been sitting and steadily placed his hands under my butt while I wrapped my legs around him. I continued kissing him while he was carrying me until I felt my back hit against something. Gerard's left hand started searching for the handle on the door and when he found it he opened it before getting a tight grip of me again.

He walked into the room and I had a feeling he was aiming for the couch. He put me down and I sat down on the plush orange object looking up at him while he was standing in front of me. I raised my hands and got a firm grip of his jeans as I undid the button and pulled down the zipper before I placed a gentle kiss right under his belly button. I pulled them down and he kicked them away once he removed his shoes.

When I saw him standing there with only his boxer-briefs I got a little dumbfounded by the sight of him. He was so handsome and perfect, every inch of him made me swoon and he was a drug to me and I craved him - more than ever.

He bent down to kiss me again as I laid down on my back causing him to follow my lips until he was fully atop of me. He stroked his hands down my sides causing goose bumps to appear on the surface of my skin. He once again slid his hands in the side of my pants pulling them down pursuing kisses down my chest all the way to my stomach.

I gave a breathless sound as I felt his warm lips on me; it felt good having him touch me again. He touched me in a way that nobody else could - he made me experience what nobody else could make me experience.

After my jeans had gone missing, he placed soft kisses on my inner thighs and I had to hold my breath for a second. I got a hold of his neck as I pulled him back up crashing my lips into his furiously because I couldn't bare the temptation anymore, it was getting too much.

My hands tugged on his boxer-briefs but they kept on getting interrupted by him kissing me, finally after some time I clenched to them making them disappear. I let my fingers travel up his back as my nails tickled his skin and I felt him wriggle a little bit. I pushed my hands up his neck and into his hair while we were kissing tenderly. I circled my fingers in time with our lips moving. He started slipping the straps of my bar down my shoulders leaving kisses on them working his way to my breasts. I squirmed from under his touch as he loosened the clasps at the back removing it.

I felt Gerard rising in my inner thigh as my heart started racing. It was almost like the first time he made love to me, the first time I trusted him and I just wanted to feel him like that again.

In my thinking, just getting lost in the moment I got startled when his hands were placed on my hips gripping my black hipster and pulling it down leisurely. He came back and made our lips meet as he shifted his position and pushed himself into. I gasped and arched my back while I gripped onto any part of him that I could find. He kept pushing himself further into me as he took a hold of both my hands and held them above my head. He gave a little pleasurable moan before I kissed him lovingly and tugged on his lower lip gently.

He quickened his pace as his ribcage heaved against mine while we were moving together. I hooked my legs around his waist as I felt him move within me making the sounds coming from my mouth uncontrollable "Gerard..." I called breathlessly while his mouth roamed my body. He thrust against me harder causing our hips to grind together in a beautiful manner.

"Oh...God" came out of his mouth a couple of times as our breath were raspy and short. I could feel him sweating as he lay atop of me moving. My hands traced up his back as I felt his muscles moving. His hands moved from my hips up to my breasts as he caressed them and laid tender kisses on them making me squirm and a little squeal escaped my mouth. He came back up to me as I started in his gorgeous hazel eyes seeing him smirk before our mouths attached to one another's.

With the passion searing he grinded his body intensely against mine as short satisfaction groans came from both our mouths. I felt my body get goose bumps all over as I felt that feeling only he could make me feel. I reached my climax and I felt a little glistening tear roll over my cheek just before I felt his body tense up right after mine before he gave a loud moan.

I didn't know if this intense sensation came from the fact that I've missed feeling his touch, or if it came from the fact that I loathed him for what he did to me - either way I have never encountered something as marvelous as I did tonight...

We stopped moving as he gazed right into my eyes with a sincere look. I ran my fingers through his hair while we were short of breath. He took my right hand a twisted our fingers together and brought it up to his face as he kissed my hand softly. I gave him a tiny grin before my lips shaped his perfectly - he had the sweetest taste I have ever tasted.

He went to lie down behind me as I burrowed myself closer to him. Gerard held me around my waist as our legs were entwined together in a cutesy fashion spooning. At that moment I felt serene and safe - the way he always made me feel. My heart kept reminding me of the way I could feel how much he loved me, the way we became one in that blissful moment we had a few minutes ago. But my head - the logical, more pessimistic side of me was very disappointed in what I had done, because according to it, if Gerard loved me, why did he hurt me?

"I love you" He whispered in my ear as I shut my eyes tightly. I wanted to say 'I love you' back and kiss him, but I couldn't - for my own good I had to keep my mouth shut

I was caught between my heart and my head and didn't know which way to turn. When I thought about it, it confused me.

'Why do the two of you have to be in this constant quarrel? Can't just for once agree on a matter? It would make everything so much easier!'

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Unconditional Faith - Chapter 46:

Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 46:

The next day I got up early because there were a few things that had to be done. After I took a shower I got dressed and when I saw Danielle was still snoring away I opened her door and yelled she must wake-up. She tried throwing me with a pillow to shut me up - but her attempt failed. I made my way to my room again as I corrected my hair before putting on some eyeliner. I heard Danielle grunting as she was stumbling down the hallway to the bathroom and when she walked past Jamie's door, she kicked it deliberately and you heard another murmur.

"Go away" Jamie shouted as Danielle kicked it again before she chuckled to herself "Ugh!"

As I waited for my two friends to get ready, I went to the kitchen and brewed a new pot of coffee. I loved the smell of fresh coffee in the morning, it makes you feel alive. I got a hold of my phone and started texting Abigail to remind her that I won't be going in today and that she had to mark down some of the old merch because we had a sale - we need to get rid of some old stock.

Danielle walked into the kitchen after twenty-five-minutes looking cheery greeting me with a smile. I raised my mug up in the air as a reply before taking another sip.

"Today we do my cake" She claimed excited and I chuckled at her actions "Man I hope I can find the right one. I hope I remember what I want, and what I like. It would be a shame if I chose a fruit cake"

I glazed at her with a slight frown and a somewhat confused look "You don't like fruit cake"

"Exactly"

"I think you need coffee, because you are clearly still asleep. Even though you look really nice" I told her finishing my beverage. My eyes caught Jamie who looked like a mess. Her hair was standing up and she wasn't even dressed properly. She had a big white shirt on that she buttoned unevenly, her batman boxers and white socks with flip-flops.

"Okay let's go" She said as I started shaking my head slowly

"What ran over you?" Danielle asked shocked examining Jamie from head-to-toe

"Nothing" She replied and yawned stretching her hands up "I'm tired. Like really tired, I took three of those head-ache pills from your dresser and before I knew it - poof - gone was little me. I have to say Danny those are some strong pills"

"Dude those aren't head-ache pills, it's very strong sleeping pills that Bob left here!" Danielle exclaimed "You are only supposed to take one, and you took three. I'm glad you're not dead"

"Explains why I dreamt about pink elephants and unicorns sliding down rainbows, now I know why Bob is always so calm" Jamie answered and I started laughing

"Come on let's get you dressed so we can leave" I walked towards her leading her back to her room helping her to get dressed as Danielle got a flask to put some coffee in there to help keep Jamie awake.

The three of us strolled down the side-walk on our way to the bakery. Jamie was more likely dragging herself down the side-walk while sipping on the flask. I saw Danielle carry a smile when the bakery was in sight, I could tell she was elated about the fact that all the plans were almost done for her wedding, and time flew by fast.

Danielle opened the door and you heard a little bell chime from the glass door that had been pushed. Danielle held the door as I was hauling a half-asleep Jamie along with me. I saw a stool and placed her in there as she sunk down in it looking at me with fatigued eyes.

"Stay" I said pointing my index finger at her before turning around to Danielle who looked at her friend

"She's not going to be much help today is she?" She asked me as I shook my head "Ai, I hope she doesn't start eating a cake or something"

"I'm sure she won't, but I won't guarantee that" I replied as I started looking around "They have many cakes in here"

"I know! And it smells like cookies to" she said with merriment gazing around "That one looks interesting" She pointed and moved over to it with me not far behind

"It's a Corpse Bride wedding cake" I blurted out as I started investigating it. It had four layers that looked as if they were uneven. The bottom one was big and the top one was the smallest. The colors were a faded purple, blue and brown with details in green. It had a few butterflies and right on top were the two main characters waiting to get married. It was the most creative - spot on- cake I have ever seen.

"Do you think if I get married with a cake like this people might think I'm a bit childish?" Danielle asked me as I thought on it for a while

Just as I was opening my mouth to speak I got interrupted "Well it depends on your theme" a voice said and we both looked to our left seeing a guy stand there. He was tall and rather skinny with light brown hair and he was dressed in black pants, white buttoned shirt with a white apron over that "Hi, my name is Carl" he extended his hand

"Hi, I'm Danielle and this is Skylar" She shook his hand and I nodded once firmly smiling

"If you want this cake as your wedding cake, you have to be sure about your theme and what you want. The type of people you're inviting, you know is it a formal thing or not. Example you won't see the president or Queen of England choosing a cake like this" He started explaining as Danielle and I was still trying to get use to his sudden appearance"

"I understand that. We are really down-to-earth people, musicians so we like weird stuff" Danielle told him and I looked briefly at her before looking back at Carl

"Then I'd suggest the Corpse Bride cake" He smiled politely placing his hands behind his back

"But I also want to make an impression" Danielle added a few seconds later

"What is your theme?" He asked her and she looked at me

"Her theme is just simple, classic. Colors are white and black with some details in red" I answere"Okay yes then I'd suggest something more like..." He started walking towards another cake only a few feet away as we followed him

"For a guy who works at a bakery he's really skinny" Danielle whispered over to me and I giggled under my breath shaking my head

"This one. It's simple, classy and makes an impression" He showed us a cake which had three layers, each layer was held up by tiny pillars. It was just white and looked really boring in my opinion.

I stood there keeping quiet waiting for Danielle to say something first while Carl was watching us. I knew she didn't like it, I knew my friend. She might be a simple girl at times but she's not boring, and this cake was...a snoozer.

"Hmm..." I heard coming from her "No I can't say I like this very much. I want something that looks a bit more..." She stopped to think

"Alive?" I said as both of them looked at me

"Yes, alive" Danielle nodded

Carl looked around the shop "Is there any specific flavor cake you have in mind?"

"I've always wanted a chocolate cake, it's the only cake I eat" Danielle replied as Carl nodded and walked over to yet another cake

"How about this one" He asked this time rather than suggesting, I think he could see we weren't like the regular customers. We knew what we want and we won't settle for anything less.

"This is a bit better" Danielle claimed as we were now staring at a cake that had four layers going from big to small. It was brown - obviously chocolate - and had tiny white dots all over with yellow flowers placed on top "At least we made a little progress, we got the chocolate flavor down" She smiled innocently towards me

"Yeah but I can't say I'm liking the yellow flower thing to be honest" I pulled a face looking at the cake.

"I'm sensing this one is also not working" He sighed with a smile "Have you ever imagined or seen a cake that you really like?" he asked Danielle and she nodded slowly while thinking "Okay now try and picture exactly what you want it to look like, I'll be right back" he said and walked away

"He wants me to come up with a cake?" Danielle frowned looking towards me

"Seems like it, you're the only one who knows what you want. So try and picture something, I have faith in you" I said sarcastic placing my hand on her left shoulder

"Very funny" She said and sighed. While she was thinking I took a few steps back to see if Jamie was still okay. She was sitting on the chair with her hand holding up her head, her eyes were now closed and she was sleeping. Luckily she wasn't wandering around the bakery thinking she's dreaming.

Five-minutes later Carl came back with a booklet and a pencil. We moved towards the counter and he leaned over it placing the booklet down in front of him.

"Have you pictured something?" He asked as Danielle made an unsure sound "its okay, just say what you are thinking and we will work this out together" He smiled towards her

"If you are sure" She shrugged "I want a brown and white chocolate cake with tiers of vanilla, lemon or coco. The cake must be covered in alternative white and dark smooth coco, decorated with a cascading tumble of hand molded white and dark coco roses, lilies and leaves" She replied as Carl started drawing on the white paper "One Brown cake, then a smaller white atop of that, with another brown and the smallest white on top"

"What the hell" I asked somewhat shocked realizing what had come out of my friend's mouth "Dude where'd that come from?"

"I don't know" She shrugged "I'm a genius it seems" she smiled at me as Carl showed us the booklet

"Is this what you were picturing?" We looked at the paper and I was impressed by his drawing skills, even though it was just a cake - it was a well drawn cake.

"Yes!" Danielle yelled "This is it"

"Good at least we know what you want" Carl breathed relieved "We will be able to this for you. It's not rocket science" He smiled and Danielle squealed clapping her hands fast

"Yeah, I got my wedding cake, my chocolate wedding cake. It's going to rock!" She sang while dancing a little dance. Carl and I stood there gazing at her before I left her alone and discussed prices, conditions and dates with him.

******

"No" Danielle stated firmly as we stood outside the shop. She was staring at the name and looked petrified as Jamie and I stood next to her with humongous smiles spread across our faces "You can't make me"

"C'mon! You said you wanted to blow Bob's mind on your honeymoon, what better way?" I asked her as she sighed before looking at me "This will definitely make his world spin"

"I know I said that but I thought maybe like...something with..." She frowned "To be honest I have no idea what I meant"

"Luckily for you I knew exactly what you meant" I smiled proudly

"Fine" She caved in and dropped her shoulders "But you my friends are also doing it then!" She told us grabbing us by our sleeves dragging us into the little shop. When we got inside all you saw were lingerie and kinky costumes all around. Different colors, different sizes and even some toys "Oh hell no" Danielle said as she turned around and I yanked her right back

"You're staying sister" I firmly said before we began looking around "This will be fun. It's like shopping for underwear"

"Except you won't ever really get the chance to wear it, just put it on and get it ripped off a few minutes later" Jamie added while frowning before she shook her head and continued looking at white and silver lace lingerie

"Then what's the point of doing it then?" she frowned and I placed my hand on her back

"Because it's fun" I replied and she scowled at me "You're not getting out of this"

"I have the most weird ass, sexually frustrated friends" Danielle beamed "You brought me to a place called Trashy Lingerie, what ever happened to the term 'You are what you wear?'"

"It got killed with the person who came up with it" Jamie smiled innocently and received a dejected look from Danielle. I laughed for a second before I placed my hands on Danielle's shoulders and started messaging her.

"C'mon, you can do this. You are a tiger, a sexy temptress. Get your head in the game!" I got a little into character as I saw she was shaking her head.

"You are doing this with me" She pointed at me before walking a few steps foreword

"If you insist" I answered her as Jamie had already started fitting some of the items "So what do you want to be first, a French maid, a sailor girl or do you prefer a career in law enforcement?"

Her eyes grew wide as I pointed to the outfits. I made it my job to get the kinky side out of my best friend and I was going to succeed!

"Ai, hand me the slutty police uniform" She sighed as I jumped and got it for her before she yanked it out of my hand and slouched her way to the dressing-rooms.

"Oh, don't forget your hand-cuffs!" I yelled mocking throwing them over the curtain to her as I could hear her snigger. This was going to be fun...

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Unconditional Faith - Chapter 45:

Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 45:

Warm embrace, strong arms holding you feeling their body lying tightly against yours. Their breaths in your neck as you feel calm and serene. A smile appears on your face because you have started to dream about that person, until you feel something rising and you realize that something is wrong...

Gerard's eyes opened and he was staring into his wall. He felt someone holding him and something poking him in his lower back, something a straight man should never feel. He took a deep breath and decided to stay calm "Frank" He said low as Frank gave a little pleasurable sigh to show he heard him "Frank Iero that better be your phone poking me"

"What?" Frank asked sleepily as he shifted his position and held Gerard tighter sliding his hand to Gerard's chest trying to grab hold of something that wasn't there. Frank got a little frown on his forehead as his right hand started feeling around.

"I can promise you, you won't find what you are looking for" Gerard stated just lying still waiting for Frank to realize he's spooning with the wrong person "I don't have breasts Frank"

Frank opened his eyes staring straight into Gerard's pitch black hair. He let go of Gerard immediately once he became conscious. He went to lie on his back as he started giggling "Oh man this is so weird"

"You're telling me?" Gerard asked as he sat up in the bed

"I guess I just sensed that you are lonely" Frank claimed turning on his side facing his friend, holding up his head with his hand. Gerard looked at Frank with a puzzled look before he shook his head "I'm serious, I know you are lonely. I'm trying to help you out, hence the bonor"

Gerard let out a little chuckle as he looked the other way "You know that if you want to stay here you can't exactly hit on me right?"

"But...but...but..." Frank put on his pouty face "You're always the one grabbing me on stage. I know you want me, don't deny it"

"You better add that you are joking because I seriously do not want to butt fuck right now" Gerard told him while Frank put on a seductive look examining Gerard's torso "Frank, stop that"

"Shh..." Frank placed his index finger over Gerard's lips speaking in an erotic tone "Don't say a word. This might be a good time to tell you that I'm completely naked"

"Dude, no!" Gerard jumped out of bed with a disgusted facial expression as Frank burst into laughter rolling around in the sheets "Mom! I need new sheets please" He yelled

When Frank caught his breath again he sat up drying away a tear from his left eye "Gerard do you honestly think that I, Frankie whom you have known for a very long time, will butt fuck you?" He asked as Gerard stood there staring at him "The answer that you are looking for is no"

"That's a relief" Gerard sighed "I know I'm lonely but I'm not that lonely"

"Ah-hah so you admit you're lonesome?" Frank pointed his finger towards his friend as Gerard shrugged walking to his drawer and getting a cigarette

"I guess I am, I've kinda gotten use to having someone by my side. Waking up to something I love..." Gerard lit the cancer stick and puffed it a few times "and no, not a friendly bonor. I prefer Skylar."

"How long have you been separated?"

"Since December" Gerard answered him blowing out some white smoke

"That's almost four-months" Frank counted on his fingers

"Yeah almost"

"Why haven't you gone out there to get another person to love?" Frank asked and received a glance in return "You are Gerard Way, you can get anyone you want"

"That's exactly my point. I can get anyone I want, but I don't want anyone. I want the person who I love more than anything; the one who makes me smile when I just think of her. The one who makes my knees weak every time I see her" Gerard told him

"That person can only be Skylar, right?" Gerard nodded towards Frank "Then why haven't you done something about it?"

"Have you spoken to Mikey? Because now you are staring to sound like him"

"No I haven't, but we are worried about you" Frank declared

"I wanted to do something about it but ever since that night I can't help but think she's better off. I mean she's doing great. Writing songs and making a record. To me it feels as if I was the one holding her back from her full potential" Gerard explained

"Well yeah, she has more time now because she doesn't have someone in her life just like you" he exclaimed "But don't think for one second that she isn't still thinking of you. Believe me she is."

Gerard stood there thinking for a while before he changed the subject "By the way, please remind me again why you are staying over here?"

"Jamie is busy with that huge final project for her photography class and she kicked me out because apparently I'm the one distracting her" Frank said putting the word distracting into air commas

"Yeah jeez, I wonder why she would say that" Gerard replied sarcastically as he received a scowl from Frank

"Luckily I'm meeting her for dinner then I'll take advantage of the time we have together" Frank smirked before he got out of bed walking to the bathroom/

******

I am creatively drained. It seems like my mind is on strike because no new ideas have popped up and I can't seem to find inspiration from anything at all. This could make me extremely frustrated because I would be in a thinking state all the time, with no luck what so ever because my mind only runs in circles.

I had to write one more song then I would have all the material I need to finish the record. The guys have been helping me out a lot by lending their legendary experience and awestruck skills to me. They helped me finish five songs and may I say those songs are exceptional. I was happy with the way everything was going, I was having fun in the studio with everyone but my only problem was writing a new song.

I was standing in the kitchen preparing dinner while I was thinking of my best friend's wedding. I had to talk to her about some things, it was eight-weeks before her big day and most of the things have been planned. I was getting excited about her getting married. It's wonderful to see two people love one another that much.

While I was chopping up some potatoes into long strips I heard the door slam and someone singing "Anyone home?"

"In here" I yelled back as they came into the kitchen

"Hmm something smells good, what are you making?" Danielle asked me once she poured herself a glass of water

"I was in the mood for steak and chips. So I'm chopping up potatoes now for the chips, hope you don't mind that this is what we are eating tonight." I gave her a smile as she took a sip of her water shaking her head "Good"

"I don't think Bob is eating here tonight. If my memory serves me correctly I think he mentioned something about Brian, I was horny so I didn't really listen" She shrugged as I laughed before I threw some strips into the boiling oil

"Talking about Bob, we have to discuss some wedding things" I wiped my hands on a cloth and threw it over my left shoulder before I walked out to get the folder with all the wedding arrangements and lists. I went to sit down across from Danielle at the island opening the folder "Okay everything is arranged, the venue, minister, band, photographer, caterer, wedding invitations, dresses are ready; they just need to be picked up. You registered for the wedding gifts; guest lists are ready which reminds me I'll be sending those out tomorrow"

"When did you finish it?" She asked me surprised as she was examining the list I had just read

"Gabby and I finished it at work and they will be sent out tomorrow" I informed her as I saw a smile grow on her face "All we need to do now is go to the florist tomorrow, and I made an appointment with the bakery down on the corner of fifth-avenue for your wedding cake. That should be fun"

"Wow, suddenly everything is set and ready" Danielle sighed "It's so bizarre"

"Getting married is bizarre. It's a huge thing to organize and plan and we did everything in time" I said as I wrote down the time of the appointment "Have you and Bob decided on the honeymoon yet?"

"Well he kinda said he wants to surprise me, so he's taking care of that. I'm perfectly fine with it because it takes some stress off of my shoulders. By the way, has Meredith said when she's flying in?"

"No she hasn't. I will call her tomorrow and get all the details" I wrote down again that I have to call Meredith "I think it's sweet that Bob is doing the honeymoon. There's something to it that I find romantic"

"You've always been a hopeless romantic" Danielle shook her head "Always believing in true love, and that there can be a happily ever after"

"Yet you're the one who's getting married and on your way to being swept off of your feet" I chuckled softly to myself "Ironic actually"

"How are you holding up?" Danielle asked me as I looked at her before I got up and walked over to the pot full of boiling oil

"Fine, why wouldn't I be okay?"

"I don't know. Doesn't it make you sad planning my wedding?" She turned her body to face me as I was throwing some more strips into the pot "Thinking of how much you shared and the things you had planned for the future"

I didn't answer her right away. I was afraid I might deny my feelings and that's something I didn't want to do. After wiping my hands again I turned to her leaning against the counter folding my arms across my chest "It doesn't make me sad, but it makes me miss him. When we went to fit the bridesmaid's dresses I couldn't help but imagine what our wedding would've been like. It just makes me miss the little things we use to do together, the way we use to be and when he kept showing up at the studio with the rest of the guys it killed me, but I couldn't let myself crack."

"Because he hurt you"

"Yes, because he hurt me. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. I'm sure he's moved on." I smiled towards her and she smiled back sympathetically

"You still love him a lot" Danielle stated as I laughed briefly "I can see it"

"I do still love him. Sadly I don't think my feelings would ever change but I'm hoping that it would at least fade a little bit so I wouldn't feel this way." I told her and threw the last strips in the pot "I really thought he was the one, after all I gave myself to him fully but it's all in the past now" I shrugged

We heard the front door slam again and a smiling Jamie walked in greeting us cheerfully "I want to ask you guys something" She got started as I got rid of the boiling oil and switched off the stove before I sat down next to Danielle to hear what she wanted to ask

"Go right ahead" Danielle said as Jamie slid in across us wearing a smirk

"What is your theory on oral sex?" was the question as Danielle and I looked at each other before laughing "C'mon guys I'm serious!"

"Well..." I said thinking biting my lip "I don't know what you want me to say"

"Okay let me rephrase my question" She said with her thinking face "Have you ever given your guy oral sex?"

"You mean to ask me have I ever sucked Bob's dick." Danielle chuckled "No"

"Damn, okay then it doesn't help if I ask you" Jamie said and looked at me "How about you?"

I looked frightened at her before I smiled bashfully "Yes, I have." I saw Danielle scrunch up her nose "what?"

"That's disgusting! Who knows where that thing has been?" Danielle stated

"In her" Jamie answered and I frowned

"First of all: ew and secondly don't judge me! It's part of foreplay and I kinda promised him I'd do it. He wanted to do the same to me but that I refused! It's just part the sexual experience and you will get there as well"

"Exactly" Jamie nodded once firmly "Why I'm asking is, I just jerked-off Frank under the table before he had to go with Brian. To me it was pleasuring"

"I think you could've kept that to yourself" Danielle replied disgusted as I couldn't stop laughing

"Did you spit or swallow?" I asked her as Danielle hit my arm

"...uhm..."

"Dude you swallowed!" I blurted out and I saw Jamie's cheeks turn red "God this is classic"

"There wasn't anywhere to spit it, I had no choice" Jamie explained and I shook my head

"Amateur"

"Aren't you one to speak...?" Danielle turned her head to me "All of a sudden you're an expert?"

"Look I tell you guys when I have sex, but I never tell you what we did and how we did it. I gave Gerard oral sex a lot" I admitted "No big deal"

"You are sickening, you tell me you love me with that mouth" Danielle told me as I gave her a smirk "Ugh"

"This reminds me of a very important stop we have to make at a shop tomorrow" I remembered and grabbed the folder again before I scribbled it down "I promised you I would do this and I keep my promises"

"Yeah...just ask Gerard" Jamie said low and I scowled at her.

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Unconditional Faith - Chapter 44:

Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 44:

My life has taken a drastic change, yet again. A month ago I got my heart ripped out by a man I love. I spent my nights crying over him, I spent my days just lying in my bed reminiscing about all the memories and feelings. Memories I knew I would never have again and feelings I knew I wouldn't feel again. Three days of my life I wasted lying in bed crying and there wasn't a thing anyone could do to get me out of my room.

Danielle and Jamie helped me out by taking turns to manage the shop those three days I didn't do anything. I knew it was hard on them. Between Danielle's studying and Jamie's projects they struggled to balance it all. The guys had left for two-months to finish The Black Parade tour, when Frank and Bob came to say goodbye I started crying again. Not to mention Danielle and Jamie most probably moped around the apartment as well because they had left, but I'm sure it wasn't as bad as me.

My room was filled with candy-wrappers, chocolate papers and chip packets. I wore the same sweat-pants and T-shirt for three days straight without showering or brushing my teeth. The T-shirt turned out to be one of his, I found it on the floor and after I wept about it, smelling his scent on it, I put it on. It was the time I had reached complete insanity. To me the world had died. When I looked out of the window, all I saw were dark rain clouds and trees without leaves, just dried up and broken as I was.

I became selfish, thinking the world owed me something. Thinking how could this happen to me? I've always done everything right. I ignored my two friends who dwelled in the halls and who knocked on my door countless times. I wanted to be alone - I wanted to be miserable...But the truth is life goes on with people living their lives, doing their thing. Life doesn't stop just because you have stopped living.

After those three days I started showing my face again, just in the apartment of course. My daily routine had changed from lying in bed to lying on the couch watching television. I kept on replaying the press conference, and when it came to those words he said, I would stop it - rewind it - and play it again. It was almost as if I wanted to hurt myself, but it made me get a thick skin. It made me stronger. It helped me deal with my feelings, especially the fact that I still love him.

It was two days before Christmas before I realized I was being completely pathetic. I was letting my friends down. I was turning into someone I wasn't, a weak being who hides whenever something goes wrong. It was a hard blow for me when a man I loved and trusted hurt me, but does that really mean that I should even allow him to make me feel like this? Allow him to make me act this way? My answer was no.

I've decided that I would show him nothing can bring me down. He went on living his life like nothing happened, playing shows, meeting fans and laughing - so why couldn't I?

I got up early, the time I usually would for work. I got in the shower and washed away my feelings, rinsed off all the burdens. I got cleaned up. I tidied up my room and put new sheets on my bed. In the middle of everything Danielle and Jamie stood still in my doorway watching me. I could tell they were happy that I finally got out of my hole and they could give a sigh of relief.

Danielle needed me more than ever because it was only two-months before her wedding. She didn't want me to see how nervous she was, because I was going through my phase, but I was her maid of honor and after I apologized for my selfishness, I took on the challenge of arranging what was left to do for the wedding. Things have started to turn back to normal - and I was thankful for that.

Through the weeks I've being writing again. I have become my old independent self, who knows what she wants, when she wants it. I loved every minute of it! I have written songs and melodies. Short ideas for what I wanted because I have decided that my next career step would be making an album - something Danielle and I have always dreamt of doing.

Everything fell into place. Danielle was producing her very first record, which happened to be mine. I was thrilled when she suggested it, because I kept on throwing hints her way.

My life has taken a drastic turn - luckily for me it was in the right direction. There were days that I thought of my behavior. I wondered that if I didn't let my emotions out, if I just sucked it up and started living my life again - would I be sitting here next Danielle in the studio. Would I have figured out my next step? Questions we ask ourselves which we will never know the answers to. I think that if I didn't cry over him, my heart would still be aching and I would still be confused...

After all, giving up doesn't always mean you are weak, sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. I am a strong person and sometimes brilliant opportunities come disguised as impossible situations, hence my last month. I have been able to learn from that experience, it gave me courage to start again, so thank you Gerard Way for giving me inspiration for this record.

Danielle and I sat there listening to part of a song we have just recorded. So far everything went great, but it was long hours and frustrating times of recording the same thing over and over again.

"I like it" She smiled when it had finished

"Thank God, I really wasn't looking foreword to doing that again" I told her and she chuckled

"You don't really have a choice" Bret said leaning back in his chair

"Yeah I know I know" I sighed

"I guess I have to go to the piano now huh?" She asked as Bret nodded and she got up grabbing my hand hauling me with her into the next room. She sat down at the piano while I took my place in front of the microphone hanging from the ceiling.

"Give me the intro and the first verse" Bret told us as I tried to remember my lyrics "Start whenever you are ready"

Danielle started playing the melody she and I came up with yesterday for the song. It was a beautiful melody and I felt it fit perfectly to the words. As her fingers made their way across the black and white keys I got ready to start singing.

"He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme I know

He's as dammed as he seems

More heaven than a heart could hold

And if I try to save him

My whole world would cave in

Just ain't right, no it just ain't right"

Danielle stopped playing and I stopped singing. To me this song held something deeper. Of course all musicians write from their own experience, write what they know. Use similes and metaphors for creating the perfect illusion. When I start singing this song, I can't stop just after one verse, that's hard for me to do but I had to.

Bret called us in again to hear if we liked it or tell us what we should change. When we got inside Danielle let out a yell that deafened me.

"Oh my God! Bob" She threw her arms around his neck as I laughed at her actions "What are you doing here? Wait before you answer, first kiss me"

"We have a week off and decided that we would come here, where else would we be?" He asked as she smiled before she plastered her lips against his again

"Welcome back then, happy you are here" I greeted as Frank came stumbling through the door "Olla"

"Hey what's up?" He asked as he walked over and gave me a hug before he gave Danielle one as well and shook hands with Bret

"Nothing much, just working on a song" I simply replied taking a seat next to Bret

"Oh yeah that's right, you've decided to join the club" He grinned "So do you need a guitarist?"

"Do you honestly want to help me?" I frowned looking up to him

"Of course. I love working in the studio, since we are here for the week, we might as well help you out, be your own personal little band" He offered

"Hell yes" I stated "Give me another hug" I opened my arms widely as I hugged him tightly "That would be awesome."

"It would yes. We can start working with them tomorrow, if you'd like" Bret asked them

"Sure, I can't see the harm in that. Then I can spend time with my fiancé which makes it a bonus" Bob wiggled his brows while holding Danielle against him

"Just stay away from the instruments please" I mocked as I received a scowl from Danielle "Will it just be you and Bob?"

"No Mikey and Ray as well, I'm sure they don't have anything to do anyway" Frank shrugged careless and took a seat on my lap "What are we working on today?"

"A song called beautiful Disaster" I answered him

"Sounds pretty" He said with a little boys voice and I started chuckling, but it kinda hurt because of his weight pressing down on me "Can we hear it?"

"Sure" Bret pressed two buttons and the sound of Danielle's playing and my singing filled the room. I sat there listening watching the facial expressions trying to figure out what they think of it. When it was done the room was silent and I closed my eyes expecting the worst

"Jeez, I didn't know you could sing like that" Frank shifted his position to look at me as I opened my one eye looking at him "It's good!"

"Thank you, I hope you really mean that. I don't want you to lie to me or spare my feelings just because I'm the one writing the songs" I told them

"We won't do that silly" Danielle informed me "I...or rather we wouldn't want you to go out there and make a fool of yourself"

"That's sweet of you" I claimed a bit sarcastically but I was glad she said that as well.

"Okay let's finish this song. Off you go" Bret shooed Danielle and I out to the next room so we could get started on it again "From the top"

"He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme I know

He's as dammed as he seems

More heaven than a heart could hold

And if I try to save him

My whole world would cave in

Just ain't right, no it just ain't right

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

If I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth

As strong as what I believe

A tragedy with

More damage than a soul should see

And dare I try to change him

So hard not to blame him

Hold on tight, oh hold me tight

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

If I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical

But he's only happy hysterical

I'm waiting for some kind of miracle

Waiting for so long

He's soft to the touch

But frayed at the end he breaks

He's never enough

And still he's more than I can take

And if I try to save him

My whole world would cave in

Just ain't right, no it just ain't right"

I ended the song as Danielle's piano skills took over and brought the song to an end just a few seconds later. I stood there biting my lip before she tapped me on my shoulder and we went back to the others.

I was smiling when I got inside because they were cheering me on and complimenting me on some brilliant writing "Why thank you very much" I put on my proud face

"Yes, that was spectacular" A voice said and my gaze went to a person who was standing in the corner, my smile faded just a little bit but I forced it up.

"Thank you" I said again before I broke my eye contact with him. It was the fist time I've seen him since that night I left him alone on his lawn. He looked good and I didn't expect him at all, I should've known this moment would come, I just thought it would be way later. I turned to Bret and Frank sitting in front of the mixing board "So let me hear it" I smiled as they replayed it and we stood there listening.

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Unconditional Faith - Chapter 43:

Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 43:

"Never. Never. Never!" I yelled as I slammed the door behind me. I took off my jacket then hung it up. I felt extremely...extremely...I didn't even know how I felt at the time. My heart was beating in my chest at a speed that was so fast that I could hear it thumping up and down. I could see my chest heaving and that alone made me want to cry.

I scampered down the hall then found my room. I put on the light then closed my door. Once it was closed I leaned against it and let my head fall back. I couldn't think of any explanation for what he had said, the thoughts ran so quickly. Every single memory was a happy memory! Every single minute since I met him was a happy one!

"Ah!" I yelled as I started crying making my head fall down into my hands as I bent my back down to the level of my knees. I let my fingers run through my hair, removing them from my face. My left hand fell along my side as I stood up straight again while my right and was still in my hair. I sniffed once as the tears made their way down my cheeks elegantly.

Why do guys hurt girls? Is it like a game to them, do they find it entertaining to see how we cry? They make and break everything they touch! "God!" I exclaimed in the open as I wiped the few tears away from my eyes. I looked around in my room examining every corner, after I realized I was being pathetic for crying about a guy that doesn't want and most likely doesn't even deserve me - I walked to my closet while taking a few deep breaths. Just when my hand grazed the knob of my closet there was a knock on my door and then it opened.

"Skylar" I heard a voice that was filled with confusion "I didn't expect you back this soon, are you okay?"

I shut my eyes tightly and took another profound breath just before I turned around and forced a smile upon my face. I opened my mouth to speak but my words failed me, as I saw Danielle standing there looking at me with her big blue eyes I started crying again. I fell against my closet door with my shoulder sliding down to the floor "J-just...go. I-I'm fine"

"Well obliviously I can see you are not" She stated frightened and ran to me tugging at my arms so I would stand up. I looked up towards her and tears started racing down my face, I tried to stop them but I couldn't, I wasn't in control - my heart had taken over. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to my level as she knelt in front of me and at that moment I wrapped my arms around her tightly because I needed her. More than anything I had to feel her embrace because a best friend is the only cure for a broken heart "I am so sorry Sky"

"Don't be y-you don't have to be" I told her while we still had our arms enfolded around each other

"But I knew what he had said and I should've told you" I heard her sniff "I should've warned you at least but I didn't!"

"No it's not your fault, nothing is" I said and let go of her looking at her

"I just can't stand seeing you cry, it makes me want to cry" She sobbed and got up before she pulled me to my feet as well "Ai, you want to talk about it?"

"I don't think there is much to talk about; after all you saw the press conference. I watched it just when I arrived and then I reacted on it. He started making up excuses telling me I don't understand and I told him goodbye. I didn't want to hear anything he had to say, if he never wanted me from the beginning then he should've said something. I mean there's no need in sparing my feelings now is there?" I asked rhetorical

"Everyone was shocked when they heard what he said, Melody and I called them once they were done. They just whispered and couldn't understand why, but they left it" Danielle explained to me

"It doesn't matter anymore" I claimed and sat down on my bed falling back giving a big sigh "I guess I just feel really betrayed by him. Everything I did for him, the way I trusted him, things I told him. It's tough to make a relationship work I know that, but no one can say I never tried"

"If there is one thing you've taught me it is that you should never fully trust a man, because somewhere, somehow he finds a way to always screw up" She said and I chuckled softly "I was surprised that he was able to sweep you off your feet"

"Yes me to, maybe that's why I gave myself to him fully. Because he made me feel things I never felt for any other guy. Just when we use to mention his name a few years ago it made my stomach turn, and when it happened for real that he liked me - all I saw were hearts all over" I explained to her as I thought about it for the first time

"You still never told me what exactly happened on your first date. How he got you to trust him enough so he could...well undress you." She asked curious coming to sit next to me

"To be honest I don't even know" I shrugged at her "The most beautiful words were coming out of his mouth, he was such a gentleman, asking me if he could be my first. I was paralyzed by it all. I hesitated but when he kissed me..." I told her with a small smile appearing on my face "When he kissed me I knew he was the one. I became lost and I wanted to feel him close to me"

Danielle put her right hand on my left and I looked at her "Sounds like a fairytale"

"Pff...I don't remember any fairytale ending like this." I stated "Oh no wait I forgot, I'm the wicked witch of the west's daughter" I pouted

"Are you okay now?" She asked me

"I think I am" I sat up and smiled confidently "If I could tell you about our first date without shedding one tear and without my voice cracking up I'm sure I'm over it" Danielle gave me a scarce look raising her left eyebrow

"I'm not so sure about that, I know you love him with all your heart. He was your first and you have been through a lot together with your family and all. I'd say you're scarred pretty badly, I know I'd be" She spoke freely and when her eyes met mine she saw I was scowling at her

"Well it's time for me to lock up all of my thoughts, emotions and feelings into a little black box and lock it throwing away the key along with the box. I have already wasted enough tears on him. I'm not a teenager anymore life goes on" I claimed firmly

"I'm still not convinced" she said making herself more comfortable "Tell me about any other memory you had with him"

"Okay, let me think" I sat there thinking of a good one that was really special to me "Well there was this one night when we were in South-Africa and we sat outside in the night sky and he told me about how special I was to him"

"No, I'm talking about a memory that made your toes curl and your knees weak"

"Wow, there were actually loads of them" I sighed running back in time "When we went to Switzerland, there was this one night were he had planned this romantic evening. You know candles, rose-petals just the whole package! I beat him to the room and saw everything, and then I decided that I would put on that skanky lingerie Jamie bought me"

"Oh God" She chuckled briefly

"I doubted for a few seconds before putting them on" I assured her "Anyway, when he walked in he was looking down but when he looked up and saw me, it was like he saw someone he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, a person he truly loved" I started staring into space folding my hands on chest "Time stood still. Then he kissed me, he's so gentle...his breath was hot on my skin as h-his...hands grazed my...b-bo-dy" my voice tightened up and tears came strolling downhill once again "See I'm fine" I lied

"Aw baby" She held her arms open and I went to lie down in her lap

"I believed him when he said he loved me" I somewhat screamed hysterically "Danny, I'm not okay" I told her and she laughed briefly

"You don't have to be, I understand. I am here for you like you have always been there for me" She said low while running her fingers through my hair "Just close your eyes"

******

"Morning" Gerard greeted with a low and groggy voice. He stepped into the kitchen while his mother was making breakfast. He sat down at the table across from Mikey who was busy drinking his beverage and just held up his hand waving

"Morning my boy" She squealed excitedly full of life as his father walked in through the back door with the paper in his right hand

"It's rather cold outside today, cloudy and rainy. Just miserable actually" His father said once he was inside and shook of some drops from his jacket before removing it.

"Well at least nothing can ruin this day" Donna smiled broadly walking over to the table with a pan in her hands "We are expecting some important news, or rather an important answer" she started scraping out some scrambled eggs on Mikey's plate

Gerard sighed and closed his eyes; Mikey saw the expression on his brother's face and knew immediately that something was wrong and decided to change the subject quick "Mom, what's with the big breakfast? I mean we have bacon and eggs, yogurt, toast and pancakes" Mikey frowned pointing to the food with his index finger and his mother slapped his hand

"Don't point at your food" She firmly claimed before walking back to the stove placing the pan down neatly "I just thought I wanted to get up, and surprise my family you never know when we have to celebrate something" she hinted walking back to the table placing a white mug in front of Gerard with the words "Congratulations" printed on it. Gerard rolled his eyes just keeping his head down as his mother took a seat next to him. "Let's eat"

"Maybe we should wait for Skylar?" Their father suggested

"That really won't be necessary" Gerard said low picking at his eggs with his fork. Mikey sat there in silence examining his brother's body language

"Phish-posh! The girl has to eat, build up her strengths" His mother said "Especially after last night I'm sure."

"Yes, tell us about last night - how did the proposal go, son?" Their dad asked

"It went...not quite the way I had planned" he answered them then turned the mug around so the "congratulations" faced the other way before he took a sip.

"That's okay, I'm sure she loved the jester! No matter how it's presented" His mother grinned widely "She must still be sleeping, poor dear. I remember how exhausted I was after you proposed to me" Donna took hold of mr Way's hand and looked into his eyes lovingly

"Do I, you wouldn't let me sleep. After you said yes you made me the happiest man alive" His father stated before he pecked their mother softly on the lips

"Ew please stop doing that" Mikey scrunched up his nose before he took another bite of his toast

"But to get back to the subject, how did she react? Is she thrilled?" His mother asked curiously "She must be"

"She's uhm..." Gerard frowned placing his left-hand on his forehead looking down

"Ah it's going to be just great having her as a daughter, like the daughter I never had" His mother said again and the ire kept on building up within in "She'd make a breath taking bride"

"God could you just stop talking already" Gerard jumped up from the table agitated by the things being said. He marched out of the kitchen towards his room. He walked over to the drawer that was placed against the wall and started digging through it, once he found what he was looking for he grabbed his jacket making his way through the house to the front door. He leaned against the porch boulder opening the box he held in his hands and took out one before lighting it.

"Thought you were done smoking" A voice said from behind him as he looked over his shoulder blowing out the smoke he inhaled

"Past tense" Gerard answered him boorish before he puffed on the little white stick again

"So...I take it things didn't go exactly the way you hoped it would go?" Mikey asked him carefully because he sensed it was a touchy subject

"Oh my God, you're so observant!" He replied sarcastically as Mikey walked up next to him

"Don't get cocky with me. I'm trying to help you out here" Mikey put his hand on his brother's shoulder nudging it gently so Gerard would look at him

"If you want to help me, you could maybe get Skylar back. Or even better, you can rewind everything until the part where we are at the press conference so I could stop myself from being a complete and utter jackass!" Gerard yelled

"Ah, press conference. Knew that would come up in this conversation somewhere, just thought it would be a lot later" Mikey sighed and sat down on the little step "What's stopping you from getting her back, hm? Gerard you love this girl and here you are moping like an idiot being mad at yourself"

Gerard kept quiet for a few seconds before he sat down beside Mikey "You want to know what's stopping me from getting her back?" he asked as Mikey nodded head "You have no idea how much my words hurt her. You have no idea how I had to see Skylar burst out in tears and yell things at me; she couldn't even bare me touching her. Said I disgusted her. I hurt her so badly after I promised her I wouldn't!" Gerard's eyes got teary "I broke her heart, I broke the woman that I love and seeing her cry like that haunts me, and knowing that I'm the one who caused those tears in those beautiful eyes...it's just..."

"I'm very sorry to hear this, but you shouldn't have said that to the whole world, what did you think was going to happen?"

"I don't know, not this that's for sure! I want to go over there and just take her in my arms and hold her, dry her tears away and kiss her gently. I want to wake up next to her. I want to stand in front of that alter seeing her walk down the aisle looking beautiful as always...but I can't!" He yelled angry

"You screwed up, we know that. You have to correct this you can't just let the love of your life get away this easily. Not everyone finds their true love Gerard" Mikey stated before getting up

"I can't"

"Okay I have tried to play it nice" Mikey declared before grabbing his brother by his shoulders and lifting him to his feet pressing his back against the boulder "Listen here, and listen good. You are Gerard Way and you will not sit here walking around feeling sorry for yourself. You fucked up, everyone does. When you fuck up you learn from it, correct it as best you can and move on! Now fix it!" Mikey told him and walked back inside.

Gerard stood there with eyes wide. He was shocked by the fact that Mikey could lift him up like that. He also knew his brother was making a lot of sense and that he couldn't just give up without fighting.

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Unconditional Faith - Chapter 42:

Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 42:

"Would you please try not to get that on the shirts?" I asked irritated by the police running up and down in my shop. They didn't care about the things and messed everything up. The floor is dirty and they are starting to move the filthiness over to the merch.

Gabby was sitting on a chair next to me shaking as I had my right arm over her shoulder trying to relieve her from just a little bit of shock - it didn't seem to work. It had been three hours since they robbed the shop and it didn't seem like things were going any where. I was just so annoyed by the people not caring.

"Miss Scott, could we please ask you some more questions?" a voice asked as I looked up and saw a man with green eyes stand in front of us. Gabby kept her head down shaking

"I already gave my statement" She told him with a low voice

"I know but it's vital for us to try and get as much information as possible" He said and she started crying again

"I know it's your job. I understand that but she's upset as I'm sure you can notice. How would you feel if you were at gun point?" I huffed a bit aggravated "She's given her statement and that's all she knows. If something else turns up she'll tell you, got that?"

He looked at me for a while as I didn't break eye contact with him keeping a straight face. He got a soft smile upon his face and licked his lips gently "It would be appreciated"

"Good now please go and try to do your job so I can do mine by being a friend" I claimed and the man with the green eyes nodded once firmly then turned around and disappeared in the crowd of police men.

"I want to go home" she sniffed and wiped her eyes

"Okay, I'll take you home" I said calm and looked at my phone. I had some time before I had to meet Gerard for our date so I took her home. The drive was quiet all the way to the suburbs, which made my mind drift away thinking about how that could've been me or Danielle in the shop. I felt bad because I left her alone - then again, I never thought something like this would happen...

I stopped the car and got out. I walked around to her door and opened it for her then I helped her out of the car placing my arm around her and walking her to the door. She handed me the keys and I opened up the door. Her mom came rushing towards us as she saw what happened on the news.

"Thank you Skylar" Gabriel said as she hugged me

"It's not a problem. Just make sure you get better and get some rest. You don't have to come to work tomorrow, take your time" I smiled towards her "Have a nice evening" I said my goodbyes and got back in my car as I rushed back to the apartment to put on some more fancy clothes.

I jumped up the stairs to our door as I opened it hearing voices in the living room "Hello you guys" I waved to Frank, Bob, Danielle and Jamie when I entered the room and walked up to the big long couch where Danielle and Bob sat in

"How did it go?" Jamie asked me

"It went okay. Police have no respect for your things or feelings I have to add" I told her and gave a yawn "Gosh, I have to stop doing that. I have a big night ahead of me - so I'm going to get dressed now" I turned around and walked down the hall to my room. Once I was inside I opened my closet and got a little purple dress hanging amongst the other clothes. I smiled to myself as there was a knock at my door "Come in"

Danielle came walking in with a smile then closed my door sitting on the edge of my bed "That's a pretty dress; it's the new one you bought when we went Christmas shopping right?"

"Yup it is. Gerard hasn't seen it yet, which is great because now I can surprise him looking way hotter than him" I grinned placing the short purple boob-tube dress on my bed next to Danielle "Now the question is which amazingly super sexy underwear do I wear?" I asked tapping my foot with my hands on my hips glancing through my lingerie

"I'm sure Gerard would love anything you wear anyway, after all he might just forget the dinner and begin with dessert" She claimed and I chuckled

"That would be funny. I wouldn't mind. I owe him for days of not serving dessert anyway" I giggled then found a pair of white lingerie that would look great under the light purple

"So...have you watched the press conference yet?" Danielle asked me cautiously as I turned around walking to her

"No not yet, I've been playing cops and robbers all day. You did record it for me didn't you?"

"I did yes. When are you going to watch it?" She looked down and I saw a look on her face that I was familiar with and I frowned

"Is there something I need to know? Because you guys stopped talking when you heard me coming in, and you looked at me strangely" I said

"No-no, nothing I'm just wondering" She smiled at me instantly and put a her poker face because she knew I would want to know because I could read body language extremely well - especially hers "It was just funny with the questions and the answers you know"

"Oh, yes they usually are funny" I smiled back and started loosening my pants "I'll watch it when I get back sometime tomorrow"

"So I take it you're not coming back tonight then?"

"Well..." I smirked naughty at her "If things go the way I think they would go then no, I won't be coming home"

"Good to know..." She said and got up "I'll leave you to getting ready now" She placed her hand on the knob and turned it slowly

"Danielle you know you can tell me what's wrong right?" I reminded her for in case she forgot

She smiled up towards me again "I know, there's nothing wrong - well nothing so big that it can't wait until tomorrow. It's just bout the bills"

"I hope you're right about that" I raised my brows as she nodded and closed my door behind her. I sighed wondering what could be wrong but I decided to shove that to the back of my head because she would've told me - right?

After I got dressed I fixed my hair and put on some more eyeliner just look a bit better than I normally do. I got on my little white ballerina shoes and was on my way to the love of my life. I was excited to see what he had planned, I wondered what the occasion may have been that he decided to send his parents away and cook for me, but whatever it was I couldn't wait to find out.

******

I stopped in front of the Way's house seeing that all the lights were off. I frowned a little but then I noticed Gerard's car parked in the drive way. I smiled then got out. I walked up to the front door then opened it gently poking my head in the doorway seeing a few candles lit and the kitchen's light was on. I closed it once I was inside and I slammed shut then I heard a voice behind me

"Welcome to my humble home" Gerard said leaning in the kitchen doorway with two glasses of wine in his hands "You look lovely"

"Why thank you very much kind sir" I smirked walking closer to him "You have no idea what kind of day I had" I told him and he handed me a glass followed by a strong kiss "Mmm..." I opened my eyes seeing him grinning. He kissed me harder as I went to sit down on the arm rest of the couch and he parted as I followed him not wanting to let go.

He walked backwards into the kitchen as I sat there biting my lip taking a deep breath "Let me just finish up in here, I'm almost done. You can turn on the television if you want" he yelled to me as I got the remote and found Mtv2.

"Hey the conference is on" I smiled big turning up the volume "Aw but it looks like it's the end" I pouted

"Moving on" Frank slowly said

"No, c'mon! Frank you haven't given your answer yet" Bob yelled from the other end as Frank tried to hide a smile and his face gushing red

"No I can't." He told them as they looked at him urging him on "Fine! Make it...Gerard. Now moving on"

"I knew Frank had a guilty pleasure for you, I just knew it" I laughed at the screen

"I think we all are rather curious to know this next question. It's from Bethany in Texas - she asks: Since the magazines published pictures of you and a girl together and loads of rumors circling the web that you are in love if they are true. Gerard could you please tell us what your relationship is with Skylar Storm, are you just friends or are you in a serious relationship...?"

"Ah the million dollar question"

"Well Bethany I have to say that isn't true. I'm not seeing anyone at all so bringing the words 'serious relationship' into the mix is silly. Skylar Storm is a friend of the band. She helps us out from time to time. We are just friends and that's all it would ever be" His words stung me. Cut through me like a sharp blade, was I imagining those words from my own insecurity or did they really come out of his mouth?

"What happened that your day was so hectic?" he wanted to know. I didn't answer him, I couldn't. I was just staring at the screen taken aback by the words "Babe...you still there?" He came walking out as I took a deep breath. I turned my head facing him with glistening eyes

"Please tell me you didn't say that" I said looking at him as he looked at me confused "The press conference, please tell me you didn't say that we are only friends and that's all it would ever be" My voice cracked up

"No-no wait, you got it all wrong" He started explaining walking up to me and I pulled away standing up "Skylar let me explain"

"No. I don't want to hear it. I don't want any lame excuse; you told all those people that we are just friends! Millions of people around the world are going to know what you said. God I knew it was too good to be true" I broke out in tears walking around the couch and he stopped me by taking my shoulders "Don't touch me!" I yelled again pushing him away walking to the door

"Sky baby you've got it all wrong" he said again as I just kept repeating his words in my mind as it just upset me more

"You're ashamed of me aren't you?" I asked him but didn't give him the chance to answer "You started panicking when you saw the pictures in the magazines, and you just used me. I trusted you!" I screeched hysterically

"It's not like that, I said that because I-"

"I became boring to you didn't I? Unpleasant and not pretty anymore...That's why you didn't want to touch me anymore" I cried and I couldn't breath. I needed to get out of there; the atmosphere and the smell of him in the air broke me. I couldn't look at him.

"Please just calm down, sit and you're going to make me feel like an asshole" He continued and I snapped

"You are! You are an asshole! You lead me to believe a lie. Things you said and promised...this whole relationship was a lie. I was just a game to you" I huffed and opened the door marching out as he jogged up to me grabbing my wrist

"You're not leaving, not in the state you're in" He told me and I laughed at him

"What in this world makes you think you can tell me what to do?" I retrieved my wrist from his grasp shaking my head "You my friend mean nothing to me anymore" I turned my back to him "You can take out the knife now, So that there won't be any trace of your back stabbing"

"You really don't know what's going on, if you would just let me talk to you things would make sense" He shouted over to me as the next door neighbors started looking out of their windows

"It makes sense, it makes perfect sense. Well you don't need to be worried anymore, my day just got better. After the gun point hold up and the police this is actually like a breeze to me. God was just preparing me. To bad you didn't come with any caution sign because they could've come in handy!" I bellowed walking to my car

"Skylar please...don't do this" He pleaded me. His eyes became shinny and I knew I had to go because my heart was too soft. If he started crying and explaining himself I would comfort him and place the blame on myself.

"I'm sorry" I said low "As much as I love you I can't do this, I can't be treated like that. You told people we aren't together when we are in a very serious relationship - well through my eyes at least"

"I know, I realize now tha-"

"Oh now you realize huh?" I laughed briefly "Congratulations Gerard, you just passed another phase in your life" I turned around, opened my door, got in and drove off. I couldn't believe this was happening. It's all so wrong; I couldn't understand any of it because he seemed real. He seemed like the honest guy who wouldn't hurt a fly. Just goes to show - looks can be deceiving.

I looked in my mirror seeing him standing there with his head down as tears rolled over my cheeks. I forced myself to look away and drive home to Danielle. Now I know what she didn't tell me.

Gerard stood on the lawn looking to the neighbor's house seeing the guy and lady staring at him. He sighed then reached into his pocket taking out the little velvet box that would've created a life long dream. That would've made him the happiest person in this world...yet things never work out quite the way we plan. He opened it, staring at it. He closed his eyes with a light tear falling down onto his hand.

"Idiot" He said low to himself as he turned around slowly walking up to the porch. He sat down on the top step with his elbows on his knees still holding the box in his hands. He looked up at the sky where the stars were shinning bright wishing he could take back what he had said, but the damage was done and fixing it, would take some time...

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Unconditional Faith - Chapter 41:

Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 41:

"I have to talk to you about something" I said as I stared down into the table. Danielle and I decided it's been a while since we've tasted the beverages at Starbucks so we moved ourselves over to them when we had lunch break, once again Jamie had a class and couldn't join us. She was becoming pissed because of it - but still considered herself lucky because she could sleep late.

"What's it about?" Danielle asked me as the waiter brought our drinks and placed them on the table "Thanks"

"It's about me and Gerard" I answered her still looking down to the table "I think he's going to leave me. Tonight"

Danielle gave me a strange look before she broke eye contact with me "Why on earth would you think that?"

"For one he's been acting like he doesn't care anymore. We don't have sex, he barely touches me. I asked him about his former relationships and the answers I got weren't exactly what I wanted to hear" I said and sighed feeling the emotions staring to build up

"What answers did you get?" she asked me with a subtle voice

"I asked him why he broke up with them and he said because it just wasn't fun anymore, it became boring to him. That they were just another phase in his life" I told her with annoyance filling my voice "You know who I blame if my heart gets broken? Myself"

"Why would you blame yourself exactly? He'll be the asshole for leaving you"

"He might be the asshole but I'm the one who ignored my basic instincts. I didn't ask him questions, I didn't' take any of the precautionary steps I usually would take. I just gave in like an idiot! I just fell into it all" I raised my voice slightly as I was speaking to her. I could become so frustrated with myself at times that I could do something stupid "I made it look like I needed him"

"I still think you're looking at it all wrong. Fine you didn't go with your instincts, but he made you happy didn't he? He gave you some great memories and he got you laid" She affirmed and I glared at her "Don't look at me like that! It's true. You loosened up a little"

"He lays good" I chuckled and Danielle giggled

"I know...I hear you yell it all the time" She said and giggled some more

"But still - What's the point of having good memories with him when they are all just going to turn out heart aching to think about at the end of the day? What's the point of reminding yourself how happy he made you when you're going to end up miserable?" I asked her and I got mad standing up from the table "What's the fucking point of having a man in your life when they only hurt you? I was just fine before I met him and I sure as hell don't need him now!" I yelled out loud with my face a little red as the place became quiet and I looked up seeing everyone stare at me. Danielle held her coffee in front of her face as she sunk down in her seat. The next thing I know the whole place erupted with woman applauding me. I nodded once then sat down with a smile on my face

"Okay are you quite done?" Danielle asked me as we started laughing "Your rage is something I never want to see. I really think you'd kill somebody"

"Me to" I agreed with her "Danielle I don't know what to do. He even sent his parents away for the night"

"Why would he do that if he was going to break your heart?" Danielle asked me and I shrugged towards her "You know that whatever happens I'm on your side of course. But Sky baby maybe you're just a bit neurotic"

I gave a big sigh and let my head fall back on the seat as my eyes studied the roof for a while. I hated it when my mind shot to thoughts that made me suspicious or paranoid. I hated the fact that he doesn't touch me anymore, the fact that it seems like our candle's flame is fading. I can even feel the awkwardness when I'm alone with him, usually we would just jump each other but now I'm not sure if he wants to me touch him. God I hated this!

"Yeah maybe I'm foolish" I finally answered her after going through my thoughts "He's great, we're just going through a dip in the relationship. I mean all of them have it, right?"

"They sure do. I hate dips" Danielle scowled most probably thinking on some of the fights she had with Bob. "Luckily the dips turn into highs. Plus the make-up-sex is great" I laughed at her shaking my head. My phone ran and I started digging in my purse for it. I found it right at the bottom beneath my wallet and other crap that woman usually have in there

"Hello?" I answered hearing a rapid voice on the other end of the phone "Whoa slow down, Gabby what's wrong?" She took a deep breath as I heard her breathing out then she started telling me what was going on. My eyes shot wide as I listened to her speaking, Danielle frowned as she looked at me then giggled again mocking my facial expressions "Okay just relax I'll be right there" I hung up and threw my phone back into my purse

"What was that about?" Danielle wanted to know

"I can't even go on lunch break anymore without something happening, apparently they just robbed the store and Gabby is in a state of shock. I have to go" I told her and threw my purse over my shoulder getting up "This is so not my day"

"No wait - I thought we were going to watch the press conference together?" Danielle pouted turning around in her chair

"I can't now sorry hun. Duty calls. I'll watch it later tonight when I'm with Gerard or back home, will you record it for me?" I asked her

"Yeah sure, I will do that"

"Thanks, love you" I waved to her and started walking to the door that lead out to the streets where crime was happening everyday and now I had to go resolve my own shop being a victim...

******

"Jamie move your butt!" Danielle yelled from our living room sitting on the biggest comfiest couch in our apartment. Her feet were pulled up to her chest and the television was set on Mtv2 for the press conference. Jamie came walking out with a bowl of popcorn then she plopped down next to Danielle crossing her legs on the couch placing the popcorn in the middle of them

"Has it started yet?" She asked taking a handful and started eating

"Not yet, it should have started five-minutes ago" Danielle looked at her phone to see the time "Stupid television programs that make us wait"

"Oh look they just walked out the doors at the back" Jamie pointed at the screen as Bob, Mikey, Gerard, Frank and Ray walked up to a long table covered with a white cloth with three microphones' placed on it. They took their seats as you saw flashes from cameras and a lot of people including the press standing in front of them. "You are recording this, aren't you?"

"Dang it, I forgot. Just press the little red button on the remote please" Danielle asked her politely and she did just that

"Sucks that Skylar can't be here, we always watch these things together no-" Jamie got cut off

"Shush! Gerard's talking" Danielle said as she was focusing on the screen. Gerard started talking introducing them like he always did before he and the rest of the band started accepting questions.

They answered the usual questions that are asked at most press conferences. Some old issues popped up inside the crowd asking the band that if that happened again what will they do and how they will handle it. Gerard answered most of the question as precise and honest as he could, and to this point all five of them were pretty happy about the questions being ask and the way they answered.

"Was touring with this record different from your former two records?" A lady asked sitting in the second row with a recorder in her right hand holding it out to them

"I would say yes, very different" Gerard got started as he looked at Frank who nodded "The Black Parade took us on a whole new journey - a whole new life lesson. It took us to new places and introduced us to some new crowds and amazing people"

"We tried something new and it worked for us. The world seemed to love it and we could go a bit more theatrical with our headlining tours, giving the fans a treat and a show to remember" Mikey added biting his lip when he was done

"You've lost some old fans who've been with you since 'I Brought You my Bullets, You Brought me Your Love' when 'The Black Parade' got released. They say that you guys have become to commercial...What do you think about that?" A guy with short blonde hair asked standing close by with a camera next to him

"Commercial?" Bob frowned thinking as Ray and Mikey started chuckling at his reaction

"I think what Bob means is no, we didn't really set out to go or be commercial at all" Ray said patting Bob's back

"It may have seemed that way because we went more way out than usual and changed our sound, but I promise you that we are still the same My Chemical Romance" Gerard informed them and got a small smile on his face as he saw people hurry to write things down

"To the fans that once loved us but decided to leave us..." Frank said as Gerard gave him a skeptical look because he knew Frank wanted to say something that would later come back to haunt the band. Frank saw Gerard's cautious look and sighed "...Your loss" he simply said as Ray was asked a question from an alarming young lady who made him smile instantly when she asked him about his shoe size "Dude, you made me sound so lame" Frank whispered over to Gerard

"I know and I'm sorry but what was I supposed to do? You wanted to be cocky again" Gerard replied softly as he got a scowl from Frank and they looked in front of them again

"These are some questions we got from fans" A woman sais with thick rimmed glasses holding some cards in her hands "First question is from Rose who lives in London she asks: If you could any part in a movie, which would it be?"

"That's a very interesting question, let me think bout that for a while" Gerard said as he started thinking

"That question will be prickling him for a while" Frank laughed "But to give you my answer I would love to be in a horror movie - just to get slashed and dashed right there" He smiled enthusiastically

"I'd play the killer who slashes and dashes Frank with a loaf of bread" Mikey smiled childishly as Frank started laughing hysterically

"Then afterwards they would have a picnic between fields and fields of flowers" Bob cooed

"I know!" Gerard blurted out as his face lit up "I've always wanted to be in a musical"

"We use to call him twinkle toes" Ray stated as the group laughed "It's just seeing you in tights like that Peter Pan production that takes my breath away" Gerard's face turned red a little

"On to the next question please" He demanded

"This next question is from Anna in Los Angeles - she wants to know what turns you on?"

"Fluffy bunny slippers" Bob claimed and Danielle laughed at his answer

"Then I better go buy me a pair right now" She chuckled over to Jamie reaching for the popcorn

"I would have to say... Ray's 'fro. No doubt about it" Mikey answered receiving a stupid look from Ray

"This is a hard question...erm...boxers" Gerard shrugged

"I don't think they understood that question all to well" Jamie shook her head smiling broadly at the silliness

"Moving on" Frank slowly said

"No, c'mon! Frank you haven't given your answer yet" Bob yelled from the other end as Frank tried to hide a smile and his face gushing red

"No I can't." He told them as they looked at him urging him on "Fine! Make it...Gerard. Now moving on" After Frank's episode they continued answering five more questions laughing some of them off and making jokes about others, until Gerard got asked another personal question

"I think we all are rather curious to know this next question. It's from Bethany in Texas - she asks: Since the magazines published pictures of you and a girl together and loads or rumors circling the web that you are in love if they are true. Gerard could you please tell us what your relationship is with Skylar Storm, are you just friends or are you in a serious relationship...?"

"Ah the million dollar question" Frank sat back in his chair as he wanted to hear what his brilliant answer would be

Gerard held his head down most probably thinking about what his answer would be himself. He sat up, leaned foreword placing his elbows on the table, staring straight into the Mtv2 camera...then he gave his answer. Frank shot a glance his way as that wasn't the answer he expected. The rest of the band members looked confusing at him. Danielle and Jamie's eyes shot wide as they slowly turned their heads to one another...

"Oh shit" They exclaimed in unison.

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Unconditional Faith - Chapter 40:

Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 40:

"You guys must me psyched because in two days you'll be on your way to Europe" Brian said as all of them were sitting in a restaurant for yet another meeting "You'll be ending in Mexico, that's where your last show is. Can you believe it's another end to a fantastic album?"

"Not really, it doesn't feel like it. I can still remember coming up with chords playing my own thing that was totally different from Ray's" Frank laughed

"Who can forget that, you kept on disappearing all the time" Mikey shook his head

"It was a fun record to make, not to mention hard and terrifying" Ray widened his eyes trying to state his point

"Yes, so terrifying that Mikey here had to come sleep in my room. On my bed. Next to me." Gerard said looking at Mikey who just smiled broadly and sipped his caramel latte

"Don't get mad at me, it was scary in the mansion. You even sang about it in a song. If you asked me, I'd say you were just as scared and when I came crawling up in bed next to you, you sighed with relief" Mikey claimed

"Well no one asked you" Frank replied cocky and got a scowl form Mikey

"I just think that with the next record I have to take it a bit easy with my drumming" Bob told them

"Why? Are you a sissy?" Frank cooed with a teasing grin

"No my name isn't Frank" Bob sneered up at him

"Touché" Frank nodded firmly and started smelling the air

"My wrists have been sore the past weeks and I don't want something serious to be wrong with them, I don't want to go through doctors and all those things. It's a waste of time" He told them

"Maybe you should just go to a doctor and check it out; we don't want something to happen later on. Maybe it got worse" Ray said as Frank continued irritating Gerard by smelling the air then smelling him

"If it gets worse I will. Danielle will surely send me to one no doubt about it" Bob informed them

"Stop it" Gerard yelled demanding over at Frank

"But you really smell nice" Frank complimented "So sexy and manly" he said smelling Gerard's neck again "Just so...so...grrr"

"And now you want to make love to him?" Mikey scoffed and they laughed

"No, I'm just curious where he got it" Frank replied like it was obvious "Because he doesn't have good taste in much"

"Skylar got it for me, you know as a present" Gerard told him and he nodded "On the other hand, she has really good taste in things"

"And what did you give her as a present? Some knitted mittens?" Mikey mocked his brother's bad taste

"No, but thanks now I know what to buy you for Christmas" Gerard wiggled his brows over at Mikey

"Before I forget, tomorrow - which would be Thursday; you guys have a press conference in the afternoon, it will be aired by Fuse and Mtv2 so choose your words carefully and I think it will be a good idea if you start discussing the future of the band right here now to get your story straight" Brian suggested as they looked at each other

"What will be asked?" Frank wanted to know as he slurped the last few drops from the bottom of his cup out of his straw then shook it frowning "Man I that was one good drink"

"You know the press, anything can be asked at anytime. Buzznet will be there as well with some questions from the fans and who knows what will pop out of there. That's why I said choose your words carefully, we don't want a mess or any miss communication." Brian replied as Frank started glaring at Gerard's drink

"Yeah you mean like the Daily Mail miscommunications?" Ray chuckled

"Yes, that was just a bad experience. But I have to say our fans stood up for us, a lot" Mikey added

"Psst" Frank called Gerard as he looked over his shoulder because he was leaning over the table

"What?" Gerard asked him and he pointed to the drink Gerard was holding his hands "What about it?"

"Can I have it?" He whispered to him

"No"

"Aw please, it was so good and you're the only one who ordered the same" He pleaded with his famous puppy dog eyes and pouty lip. Gerard rolled his eyes and shook his head

"Then order another, you can surely afford it famous rock star" Gerard said cooing and returned to his previous conversation leaving Frank to sulk

"Okay let's start going through some fine line details that should be known for tomorrow, we have to be prepared for anything" Gerard got them started as Frank called a waiter to order himself another drink.

******

I stood in the shop with a clipboard in my hands checking to see if everything was still there while Abby stood next to me with a calculator in her hands adding up the amounts I read out loud to her. I was in the middle of counting the last few shirts of Green Day when Danielle came storming in the door with an excited look plastered all over her face.

"What's with the barging in?" I asked her curiously as she walked over to me

"We're going dress hunting" She squealed and smiled at her actions "I took the day off because we didn't do anything and then in the middle of my packing up I decided that we can go look for dresses. I asked Jamie but she has a class and then I skipped over here"

"That's great, just one problem. I can't leave Abby here alone" I told her and her facial expression dropped

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Skylar its fine, you can go. I mean we finished the ordering, we got all the deliveries, all the stock seems to add up with the amounts and we checked inventory. I'll be fine. Now go and help your friend look for her dream dress!" She urged me on as Danielle got her expansive smile back

"I totally like you" Danielle said over to Abby as I got my stuff from behind the counter and hooked my arm in with hers and we were off to go dress hunting.

As we scurried through the streets of New York searching high and low for the places we thought had the best dresses, we decided to do some Christmas shopping in between since we were browsing around together in the city, walking past so many shops along the way.

Danielle started freaking out in the middle of her shopping because she didn't know what to buy Bob and after some encouraging words I helped her through it and she was back on track with her list. I got all my presents I had to buy and I must add I was now slightly poorer than I was, but it was worth spending all the money I had on people I care about.

Three hours later I was waiting for Danielle to pay her last item as I was holding dozens of packets in my two hands. We still didn't find a wedding dress shop that caught our attention and made us gasp. Who'd thought it would be so hard to find that perfect dress. As I waited I turned around and looked across the street and to my surprise I saw it. I saw a dress that would fit Danielle perfectly...

"Thanks" Danielle said to the cashier and she walked up next to me "Why do you have that stupid smile on your face?" Danielle asked

"Dude, c'mon!" I grabbed her hand with the packets and hauled her across the street over to the shop's window and I pointed to it "Ain't it purdy?"

"I love it! I want to fit it, like now" She said and we walked in being greeted by the kind ladies who worked in the wedding shop. The whole shop looked so fancy with steps and mirrors. White carpets and classy wallpaper and fine details like classic couches and paintings against the wall.

Danielle showed them the dress she wanted to fit and they got it for her. She walked to a little fitting room, or should I rather say big fitting room and fitted the dress. I was waiting in the front sitting on the fancy couch with the packets placed on the floor next to my feet. I glanced over to the ladies and saw they were dressed in black suit-jackets and knee down skirts. I tried my best to look civilized and highly cultured to fit in and not look completely clueless. I sat up straight and crossed my feet at the bottom sitting like the queen from 'Princess Dairies' but when I looked up I slouched again dropping my shoulders, with my jaw dropping down just staring...

"Holly fuck" I yelled and forgot I was trying to be civilized "I mean, don't you just look absolutely ravishing darling" I complimented her in an English accent which made her laugh

"I think you've been around Gerard to much" She informed me as I walked closer to her and inspected her carefully

"I think you look gorgeous" I smiled over at her as she went up three small steps and took her place in front of the mirror. I saw her breath in deeply as she looked at herself. I put my hands over my mouth just thinking how beautiful she looks in that strapless white gown with silver beading and minutiae.

It hugged her body tightly but she could still breathe. It showed off her curves and complimented her figure a lot. I never thought that a dress could bring me to tears but that dress did.

"Wow, you look amazing" One of the ladies said as she walked up to us "Let's just get these straps fastened at the back" She said as she started threading them in nicely and made a little bow with the platinum colored material when she was done "When is your wedding?"

"Oh it's not for another eight month. I actually just started looking for dresses today" Daniele told her and she met the ladies eyes in the mirror

"But she's proud to say that this is the first dress she fitted, because the others we looked at just didn't stand out" I added quickly

"Yes and I'm sure that a lot of brides have tons dresses they like and fit then at the end they can't decide" Danielle opinionated

"To be honest, no. We have seen so many brides come into this shop and hearing their stories on how they search for that perfect gown for months, you'd think they'd never find it" The lady stated as I stood next to Danielle

"So consider yourself lucky that you've found your perfect dress" I told her and she nodded and saw her respire

"But there are still so many shops and so many months left. Don't you think we're deciding to fast?" She asked me unsure

"It doesn't matter. It's the first dress that caught our eye and made us gasp. We walked past tons of other wedding shops and they just didn't have anything you wanted to fit. Danny you know me, I don't like any dress. I honestly think you've found your fairytale dress" I told her and she smiled from ear-to-ear again looking back in the mirror "I can't wait to see you eight months from now walking down that aisle"

"God, I've always pictured this moment walking around searching for a dress, just never thought I'd find it so promptly. Thank you for seeing it"

"Not a problem at all. We can still look around but I'll deposit this one for sure" I told her as she squealed and we started squealing together. She walked back to the fitting room and changed back into her clothes as she told the ladies she wanted the dress. After some explaining and filling in some papers we were back out in the city.

"Now you need the perfect shoes" I grinned to her

"You read my mind" She said with her voice filled with glee and we ran into the nearest shoe store.

******

"Hi Donna" I greeted her when I entered the kitchen as she was busy cutting up some vegetables for dinner. She had invited me over because she said it has been to long since I showed my gorgeous little face there

"Hello dear" She smiled warmly at me "How are you doing, glad you could make it"

"I'm doing just fine thanks. Been running down the streets of New York with Danielle doing Christmas shopping and dress hunting" I told her as I walked up next to her "I'm also glad I could make it. How have you been, everything still fine with the household?"

"Yes things are hunky dory thanks for asking" She used an old saying that made me chuckle as she went over to the sink and rinsed the veggies placing them next to her "Mikey has been sleeping most of his days, that boy never wanted to go anywhere on his school vacations, he would always just sleep in. Gerard on the other hand...you keep him busy"

"I do, don't I?" I smirked as she threw a glance over towards me

"For sure and happy I might add. I've never seen him like this; he always lightens up when he's around you. You make him do things he would usually never do" She told me and I frowned still keeping my smile. I started drifting into my thoughts thinking about what he said. Hearing his mother say these things to me made it hard, I was so confused - I hated to be confused, merely because my thoughts are the only thing I have control over.

"I make him do things he normally wouldn't, like how?" I asked her inquisitive. I went over to the table and sat down on one of the chairs

"Well...there are, of course...small little things a mother notice" She couldn't give me a straight answer, which alone made me swallow a knot. I put my elbows on the table and let my hands fall to the table as I started picking at my light blue nail polish "Minor things, which would soon turn into bug things" She tried explaining and I just nodded politely

"Yeah like breaking hearts?" I mumbled low to myself

"I'll be right back, I have to go get something in the next room" She said as she walked out and I was left alone only to sink more deeper into what I was thinking, which could become dangerous.

I was hesitant to ask his mother about his former relationships. I never do these things but I fear that I had let my guard down just because Gerard was able to sweep me off of my feet and give me one of the best nights I ever had. His charming smile and shimmering eyes, subtle voice and mind blowing lyrics. His gentle touch and way of making you feel special. I was stupid for trusting him so easily just because he was one of my heroes.

"Stupid little girl! You fell for the whole package you said you would never fall for! You played into his hands, making you look weak. Congratulations"

Unconditional Faith - Chapter 39:

Unconditional Faith

Chapter 39:

I sat at the island the next morning with my laptop placed on the table and bunch of papers scattered everywhere. My mind was a complete mystery even to me, the things that had just suddenly shot into my head after last night was explanatory. I was hyped up on coffee and candy as I sat there typing with my purple reading glasses carefully balanced on my face.

"What could this be about? What do I want it to be about and should I make a big deal about this? Is there something he's not telling me...? Crap I'm off track again, stop thinking about it!"

I heard the front door slam and a cheery little tune was being hummed by a delightful voice. It made me smile slightly to myself as the cheery person walked straight in the kitchen and froze when she saw me.

"Wait don't tell me, baggy light purple pajama pants, tight fitting white tank top topped off with your reading glasses. You're writing again aren't you?" Danielle figured out as I looked at her and she swayed over to me and gracefully sat down across from me

"Yup I am, kinda, I couldn't sleep so I just came here" I told her as I sat there thinking and she took hold of one of the papers lying on the table and examined it

"But these are all your songs" She frowned taking hold of another

"I know but I have a plan and I'm sticking to it. Each song tells a story, each story holds a memory and each memory..."I stopped and thought of something good to say "Yeah okay that's as far as I got but you'll see. It's just like I'm documenting my life and what each song means to me"

"Ah I get it, good idea. Like you're explaining why you wrote it. Is there any valid reason for this much trouble?" She asked me getting up on both her feet walking towards the fridge "Because you're thinking which you haven't been doing since you met Gerard"

"Actually..." I got started turning my body to the right so I could face her. I took hold of my glasses and placed it carefully on a sheet of paper next to my laptop "Last night when I came back I experienced something that I never thought I would"

Danielle lifted her head from the fridge and looked at me with an apprehensive look "Gross okay where'd you two do it this time?" She asked looking around the room as I laughed at her words

"We didn't do it anywhere" I informed her as she sighed with relief

"Thank God, because the only place you haven't tried would be...erm..." She thought hard "Never mind, carry on"

"I walked home and opened the front door gently and I saw all the lights were off but the television was on so there was a light glow coming from the living room. When I closed the door I heard stuff" I stopped

"What stuff?"

"I heard breathing and moaning. I tip-toed to the doorway and to my surprise I saw Gerard sitting on the couch rather enjoying himself. Like you know last night we were all a little bit drunk or at least tipsy, and for a moment I thought the wine was playing tricks on me but it wasn't" I told her as she looked intrigued now leaning against the wall with her arms crossed across her chest

"Let me see if I understand: You came home, found Gerard enjoying himself without you...as in he was..." She said as I nodded

"He was watching that gross stuff on television!" I blurted out a little bit pissed as a saw a small smile creep its way on her face "Don't you dare! I told you last night that we aren't having sex and then I walk in on him pleasing himself, what the fuck is that about?"

"I'm sorry but I can't help but smile, or chuckle at least a little bit" She said walking to the table "Maybe the sex-drive came back and he couldn't wait for you any longer so he did the obvious, turned to his right hand man" She cracked and laughed as I scowled at her

"Danny you're not exactly helping here you know" I pouted letting my head fall down to the left and it hit the table softly as she looked down to me then bent down and kissed me on the cheek gently "If the sex-drive had come back why didn't he tell me?"

"I certainly have no clue what to tell you except what I already have about the sex-drive coming back. Maybe he didn't tell you because he feels embarrassed about it" She comforted "What did you do when you saw the whole...thing"

"At first I just started and then I frowned and then I giggled, I kinda started at him for a really long time so he might have been at the end of it all. Then I decided that I would turn back to the door, open it and slam it hard, which I did so he would think I had just walked in then I yelled "Honey I'm home, plus I'm tipsy and a little bit horny. All your favorite things" Then I just kissed him and that was about it. I guess he must've ejaculated when I turned around and decided to slam the door because he wasn't hard when I saw him"

"Lovely" She cooed "Is he still here?"

"Yes, he's sleeping like a baby" I told her "How was your night in Bob's new apartment?"

"It was amazing! When he saw I was tipsy he got all excited for some reason. We spent the hours on breaking-in his new furniture" She wiggled her brows towards me

"And apparently marking your territory" I mocked as she chuckled and poured herself a glass of crystal clear water "Wonder how Jamie is doing, she was really wasted because she drank that wine like it was orange juice"

"Yeah and Meredith's forehead, she must have this huge bump right in the middle of it" We laughed as Gerard came walking in with his messy hair and tiring eyes

"Morning" He greeted with his bleary voice

"Hello Gerard" Danielle smirked "Have a nice evening?" She tried hiding her facial expression behind her glass but it was noticeable and Gerard just frowned towards her

"Yes thanks, it was pleasant" He answered her and he walked towards me as I just glared at Danielle as she started giggling softly

"Uhm...you what I have to go take a shower otherwise I'm going to be late for work" She informed us as she skipped out of the kitchen "Too-de-lo" she said as I just shook my head and rolled my eyes

"What was that all about?" Gerard wanted to know

I shrugged with a smile on my face "Girl talk" I plainly said

"Don't' even want to know" He sighed and opened the fridge

"Wish I didn't either" I mumbled under my breath and continued my typing.

******

"Seven little prayers I'd pray to keep you safe through each day

From sunrise to sun set you always stayed

It's a hard life you've been through and I'm proud to say

I love you, is that okay?"

I sang sitting with my guitar in the shop playing some melody to the lyrics I had come up with a few hours ago. I needed some kind of really nice picking to go with it and I really needed to write down the chords I was playing but instead I just sat there with my feet on top of the counter staring away into nothing but air as my fingers played at their own accord.

"Dude!" I got startled by Abby who clapped her hands in front of my face "I have been talking to you for the past three minutes, haven't you heard me?"

"No, I'm sorry I'm in a state of mind" I blushed as I got my feet off of the counter and put my guitar neatly against the wall behind me "What did you say?"

"I said I like the song you were playing" She repeated herself "Is it a new one or old one?"

"It's new, I think. I wasn't really aware of what I was doing sorry" I frowned

"How's it going with Danielle's wedding plans?" She asked leaning on the counter as I stood up and got a book from the counter drawer

"There haven't really been any plans made yet, except the honeymoon night of course. I guess I have to get my butt moving on the arrangements because I want to give her a beautiful wedding" I told Abby as I opened the book and gazed through it

"Does she want a big wedding?" She asked me and I grabbed a pen from next to the computer screen and scribbled something in the book

"No she doesn't. She wants to keep it all simple, but I'll leave the guest list to her and Bob because I really don't want to invite someone who shouldn't be there or forget someone who should" I widened my eyes and she laughed

"Yeah that could be a big problem. If I can help out with anything just let me know" She smiled at me as I smiled back

"Thanks" I said and slid the book over to her "Did you write down the orders we have to place for the next month?"

"No I haven't. I can do it now if you want me to"

"Please because I have to work out the budget. We have a strict one for the next couple of months until the economy clears up" I informed her as she took the book and the pen from my hands and hurried to the back again.

I went over the computer and sat down opening the internet icon and Google appeared in front of my eyes. I figured I could get started on some ideas for the wedding and see what is out there because Danielle and Bob decided that they wanted to get married in exactly eight months which would make the date August 17^th and moa had to stick by her friend and take the stress of planning this whole wedding off of her shoulders.

******

"Just the girl I wanted to see" I said when I saw Danielle standing in front of the stove with a wooden spoon in her hand "I got some ideas and things for your wedding"

"Really? Show me!" She demanded as we moved over to the table and I showed the pictures and things I had printed out "Oh I like that" she pointed to the picture of a venue

"Me to, the venue is nearby and apparently it's got five-stars which is good. I like the idea of the fairy lights they have used with the draping down the walls and it all coming together in the middle of the roof" I said exited because I could really see her having her wedding in this place

"Yes and the rose petals that they had strewn in a circle in the dance floor, that's rather cute." She smiled up to me as I nodded "I'm guessing that's for when the bride and groom open the dance floor?"

"It is, we have a lot of planning to prepare for and loads of site-seeing. If you have any ideas you have to write them down incase you forget or you change your mind" I pointed my finger at her

"Well duh, who's always making lists?" She asked me rhetorical "Besides I trust your judgment and you have loads of ideas as well and I always love your ideas too"

"Mhm we'll see but this is your wedding and I want it to be perfect because a girl always dreams of her fairytale wedding" I claimed and got out some pictures of flower arrangements

"Holly shit my spaghetti!" She exclaimed and ran to the pot turning the knob to decrease the heat "Ai that was close, now show me flowers" She grinned broadly "To be honest I have no idea what I want as flower arrangements, or even what color my wedding should be" We heard someone clearing his throat and we turned our heads to the doorway and saw Bob standing there with Gerard

"Our wedding, thank you very much" He stated and kissed Danielle sensually as Gerard came to sit down next to me

"Hi" he smiled when he was only inches away from my face staring me straight in my eyes

"Hi" I whispered and he kissed me lovingly for about five seconds before letting go then a smirk showed on his face and that left me confused. I shook it off and returned to the pictures I was about to show Danielle before we got interrupted

"Let me see what's going on here because I'm the one paying for all of this" Bob said and got glares from me and Danielle "What, it's the truth"

"I don't think the guy is suppose to know what's going on, he should just pay" Gerard chuckled and took hold of a picture with a wedding dress on it "Besides, isn't it better not knowing"

"It might be better for you but I would like to know because maybe I'll be paying for something I don't even like...for example an ice-sculpture of a frog or something" Bob answered him and Danielle raised her left brow

"You really think I'd get an ice-sculpture of a frog? I don't even want an ice-sculpture because it's cliché" She claimed proudly turning sharply on her heal returning to the stove.

A few hours later after having dinner and hearing Jamie's story of her drunken adventure with Frank, I could finally go to bed early for a change and fall asleep peacefully. I got under my covers and snuggled up until I was comfortable enough and closed my eyes ready to drift away and let my dreams take over...that is, of course until I got interrupted.

I felt arms curling their way around my waist and hands being pushed up under my shirt with fingertips grazing my skin. I opened my eyes and sighed softly not wanting to offend Gerard by telling him to go away. He burrowed up until he was close to me and started kissing me in my neck and I heard his breath whistling in my ear that sent chills down my spine and gave me goose bumps.

"There are the goose bumps I have been waiting for" He whispered in the same ear that just got me more turned on

"Of course now the sex-drive comes back when I want to sleep!" I turned on my back and he moved himself until he was over me and kissed me furiously. I ran my fingers through his hair and hooked my legs around his waist. He slowly dragged his lips from my mouth to my neck and stopped at my collarbone when suddenly I got an urge to ask him a funny question.

"Gerard, can I ask you something?" I asked him while he was caressing my body with his hands

"Go ahead" He said quickly in a low voice moving his lips back up the way they came

"How many girls have you dated, you know been a serious relationship with?" Was my funny question and he looked at me briefly with a slight frown

"Four or maybe five" He answered me then touched my lips again

"And...have...you...had...sex...with...all...of...them?" I asked between short kisses

"Mhm" He replied and was fiddling with my shirt

"I see, so what happened? Why did you break up?" I wanted to know as he stopped and sat up on my stomach looking down at me

"What's with all the questions?"

"I don't know, I'm just curious, so why did you break up?" He gave a sigh then let his head fall backwards before he looked at me again

"It was all pleasant in the beginning then it became boring and my feelings changed. It just wasn't fun anymore" He answered me "They were just phases of my life"

"Oh" I replied almost silent

"Are we done with questioning?" He asked and I nodded as he stared kissing me again

"I'm actually tired" I told him because I really wasn't in the mood anymore

"I can help wake you up" He wiggled his brows and let his hand slip into my pants and I jumped when I felt his hand between my legs

"I appreciate that but maybe another night? I'll make it up to you"

"Sure, I don't want you missing out on your beauty sleep" He smiled and I rolled my eyes then pushed him off of me

"Night" I said and just when he was about to give me a goodnight kiss, I turned around with my back facing him curling up most probably leaving him unsatisfied. I didn't really care because the answers I got from him were bothering me a lot.

"It just wasn't fun anymore, what does he mean by that...does he think of me the same way? Is that why he's been so distant lately and is that the reason why we don't have sex anymore? God my thoughts are going to smother me!"

Have I become boring to him? Has our relationship gone from pleasant to just another phase in his life? I had to talk to Danielle about this but knew she'd be sleeping by now. I couldn't help but think that I might end up one of his ex-girlfriends, rather soon I might add.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unconditional Faith - Chapter 38:

Unconditional Faith:

Chapter 38:

I was back at work in my usual spot right behind the counter awaiting something interesting to happen. Usually when Danielle and I would get bored we'd hijack the sound system in the shop because it was amazing! Then we'd dance around going crazy singing enjoying our time until the next costumer came in then I would run and jump over the counter and turn the sound down and look casual while she would just stand randomly amongst the clothes.

Memories are something that will always remain, but with time fades into nothing but dust... which is sad, because when we are done serving our time on earth what will be left? A few documents that stated we lived on earth? A few photos of good times and smiles, which would most probably also end up tarnished and scorched.

We waste so much time just doing nothing, maybe because it's easier not doing anything? Just breathing and not really living, walking around going to the same job that offers the same situations and the same people. A timed down routine for a life...sounds invigorating. Mark my sarcasm.

People have become gutless, now and again you get people willing to strive for the impossible, fighting for what they believe in, but the majority of us just prefer to loaf around drinking, partying not having a goal...poor little unaware human beings.

've always believed that I'm driven. Driven to make a difference and to stand up for people who need it. I never wanted to live a normal life getting up at a certain time everyday, going to work, doing the same things. Eating the same time then going back home, hang around for a few hours then sleep and then just do it all over again. Blah! No thank you!

Maybe that's why I've always turned to music. Maybe that's why I see myself being up on stage or touring. Nothing you do will ever be the same, nothing is at the same time, you tour and you never have the same scenery. You meet new people and most important - it's the best way to get out a message to thousands of people around the world. The music industry is the best place for a life full of excitement and of course loads of pressure and stress. Yet you enjoy it, you make priceless memories and you end up in the freakiest situations and do the silliest things...yes, I long for that.

Back in reality I'm stuck behind four walls, a few windows that vary sizes and a door made of shatter proof glass. Okay I don't always see the same people, and fine I don't always do the same thing but it's still the same scenery. It's still stuck in somewhat of a timed down routine life. I guess we have to make money in order to survive because this massive universe is being controlled by something called money - a dyed little perfectly cut paper with an amount put on it. Without that little piece of paper we can't do anything, at all. Makes we wonder: how would this world be without money? How would it be if money didn't divide us into certain groups or limit our buying methods? Would it be chaos or peace on earth? Your decision

I looked over at the clock hanging up high on the wall becoming impatient. I sighed and tapped my foot, watching the little seconds-hand tick its way up to the big twelve. I sent Abby to the back to check that all the deliveries had arrived and that nothing was missing. I had been gone for only a weekend but it felt like weeks.

I saw a truck stopping outside the shop as it was fitting itself into the loading zone with the cars rushing by him and the people walking past it. My smile grew and my heart started racing as a guy got out with a clipboard. He walked to the back of the truck accompanied by another two gentlemen. He pointed his fingers checking his clipboard and told them to follow him with some boxes and walked towards the shop. He pushed the door with his right hand and held it open for the other two men holding big brown boxes.

"Hi, here to make a delivery" He smiled once he was at the counter and placed the clipboard in front of me

"Yes" I said excited "Are those all?"

"No there are two more in the truck, they just went to fetch them" He told me and smiled big "Could you please sign here...here and...here" He indicated with his index finger as I grabbed a pen and started signing. The men brought in the two last boxes placing them next to the other two.

"Thank you, have a nice day" I waved as they made their way out of the shop leaving four boxes in the middle of the floor "Ah!" I yelled and ran towards them grabbing the first one trying to open it

"What's wrong?" Abby came running in from the back with a worried look on her face

"It's here" I squealed loudly as she came walking closer with her hands on her hips and her chest heaving

"Shit, more deliveries?" She asked as I just nodded struggling to get the tape off of the box "Need some help?"

"Please. Just hand me scissors" I replied and she leaned over the counter to try and reach the pair of scissors. Once she got them she came to sit down next to me handing me the pair of sharp blades "I can't wait to put these out!"

"Something tells me you like this band" She said noticing my urge and I handed her the scissors and she started opening a new one

"I do! Danielle and I both love this band. They're just awesome" I answered her sticking my head half way inside light-blue shirts to grasp my size and plucked it out "When she hears we got these she's going to regret leaving"

"I can see why, they aren't bad looking" She grinned to herself once her box was open "Wonder how their music is"

I turned my head sharply towards her with eyes as round as saucers. Her smile faded once she saw my expression most probably wondering why I'm staring at her the way I was "Dude! No way, have you never heard them before?" I asked astonished

"Nope, can't say I have" She shrugged as I gasped and jumped up, grabbing her arm hauling her to the back of the counter

"You lack culture!" I informed her as she chuckled at my actions

"I know, that's why I got a job here remember" She smiled childishly and I dug out an album from under the counter in one of the cupboards below.

"Shh" I put my finger over my mouth and she jumped up taking a seat on the thick based surface "Now I shall be playing one of the fastest new up and coming bands to you, called 'There for Tomorrow' if you don't like them I don't care because I do and they will be playing in this shop for the next week" I smiled broadly pressing play as she just rolled her eyes and 'The Remedy' started blowing loudly out of the speakers.

******

"I seriously think that would be a big no-no, on your wedding night" Meredith said as the four of us were sitting in the restaurant laughing dinning like the good old days before cupid hit us with his love arrows

"Don't listen to her!" Jamie yelled holding the wine glass in her hand "Do it"

"He'd be so scared; he'd think he was in the twilight zone...seriously people. Dressing up in an outfit is one thing but adding a whip is where I'd draw the line"

"Just because you've got no sense of thrill or adventure in our sex life doesn't mean it's wrong. You get guys who do or like stuff that is just unthinkable, and at times gross" I stated chuckling reaching for my glass drinking the last few drops and I realized my wine was finished

"How would you even know?" Meredith asked me as the waiter walked by and she grabbed hold of his white shirt "Excuse me, kind sir, but do you think you could bring us yet another bottle of this great tasting wine?" She asked him as he laughed and nodded his head turning around "Thank you old chap"

"I have experience" I informed her raising my right brow smirking cocky as the three of them started chuckling

"You never dated!" Jamie yelled over to me as I gasped loudly

"I'm sure Gerard added some experience, but I have to say Skylar has always known what drives men mad" Danielle told us and I snorted "She's got a filthy mind" She said squinting her eyes tapping her index finger on the left side of her face

"Why are we talking about me when we should be at the wedding night people?" I blurted out as the waiter came back and Jamie grabbed the bottle from him with a smile

"I'll open it thank you, now scurry along" She shooed him away as she took the bottle opener and started pressing the sharp pointy edge into the cork "This one stubborn cork"

"I say we go get you some fluffy hand-cuffs, a smoking hot outfit and a whip" I said pointing my finger at Danielle as she widened her eyes and followed my swaying finger

"I'm surrounded by freaks" Meredith claimed as we heard a loud popping sound and all you saw was a flying Jamie who fell backwards off her chair and an airborne cork that shot Meredith right in the middle of her forehead. Danielle and I went hysterical as three waiters came to help Jamie back up and another brought Meredith an icepack

After the whole episode with a silly cork and a wine bottle which contained one of the best tasting wines I had ever tasted, we sat there for a while not saying anything. Meredith was holding the icepack to her red and blue forehead. Jamie was concentrating to pour the red wine inside her glass and not on the lovely white table cloth while Danielle decided she wanted to smell the pretty flowers in the garden next to her.

"Do you and Bob experiment a lot?" I asked Danielle as she swung her head back towards me while I was holding out my glass to Jamie so she can pour me another one as well

"Uhm...yes I'd say so. We do it in various places and spaces" She answered me pressing her lips down on one another

"I see, and do you only do it missionary style or..." I added because I was rather curious to know

"Mostly, but we change now and again" she replied as Jamie moaned holding her glass in both her hands staring into it

"It's empty again!" she whined "I think it's broken" we shook our heads as Meredith helped her out by pouring her yet another glass

"Anyway, why are you asking about our skills" Danielle wiggled her brows at me

"I was just wondering, you know me I'm weird like that." I told her and she chuckled

"I think that Skylar is always on top" Jamie mumbled with her red cheeks

"Why would you think that exactly?" I looked surprised towards her as Meredith nodded in agreement

"Because you're so demanding and ambitious" Meredith claimed "I mean you like to dominate and in this case dominate Gerard, be in total control"

"Ha-ha" I said dry shaking my head as Danielle tried to hide a smile with her hand "For your information I don't like being on top at all. I find myself being seriously self conscious in that position. My favorite would also be missionary because I actually like it when Gerard takes control, then he can dominate me" I explained

"Doggy-style" Jamie exclaimed from her end of the table and the three of us looked at her confused "I love doggy-style"

"Ew" I wrinkled up my nose thinking about Gerard fucking me like a dog

"That's fun yeah" Meredith chimed with a smile on her face

"Are you guys being gross?" Danielle wanted to know "It's such an awkward position. Him taking you by the hips and just thrusting away, you can't see him just feel him"

"You can't touch him, or kiss him. I like seeing his facial expressions and I love kissing Gerard a lot and him being behind me is just so...how can I put this, it's hard to explain it. Mostly has something to do with control"

"I agree with Sky, I like seeing Bob as well and having the picture in my head makes me want more wine" Danielle claimed

"Doggy-style is where I experience one of my best orgasms" Jamie shared that little detail with us and Danielle spit out her beverage while I smiled broadly at my drunk friend sharing intimate details with us

"Dude, that's a bit blunt" Meredith said a bit in shock as Danielle was wiping her mouth with a napkin "Gosh"

"Oh get over it, we after all best friends and these things are normal. I appreciate drunken Jamie sharing that because that bumped you up to a bigger Christmas present" Jamie giggled while holding up a dorky smile "Can I tell you guys a secret" I got started and they hurled closer to the table "I haven't had sex in a while" I whispered and all of the gasped

"You're lying" Meredith claimed and I shook my head

"Wish I was, but it's true sadly..." I pouted

"Why?" Danielle asked worried "Is there something wrong?"

"I don't know, Gerard just isn't in the mood lately. It's like the whole sex drive has disappeared" I shrugged and Danielle put her hand on my shoulder

"Aw honey I'm sure it will come back. Maybe he's just preoccupied" she comforted me and I gave her a weak smile as we moved on to our next topic which would be underwear.

We sat and babbled for at least another hour before we decided to move along because it was getting late and the guys were probably waiting for us. We said goodbye to Meredith since she's leaving for months and we would most probably see her at Danielle's wedding. Jamie called Frank who came to pick her up because she has been staying over at his place for a change. Danielle called herself a cab because Bob bought a new apartment a few blocks away and it would be her first night staying there. Me on the other hand, I decided to stroll down the streets because the apartment was just a block away and I had a man waiting for me.

I reached my building and started climbing the few stairs until I reached my apartment door. I got out the little key and carefully placed it in the lock and turned it and the door opened. I stepped inside and saw all the lights were off but there was a faint glow coming from the living room. I closed the door and just when I had locked it I heard heavy breathing and moaning coming out of the room with the faint glow. I raised my brows and walked to the doorway slowly and saw Gerard sitting on the couch with his back turned towards me. My eyes grew to the size of saucers and I couldn't believe what I saw. Was the wine playing tricks on me...?

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